A divorce is complicated for both parents and children. Parents suffer emotionally because they have to go through a period of mourning since the love they know disappears and their family life disappears. For children things do not improve much, in fact, parents can feel relief since it is a decision made by them, and when the process is over they rebuild their lives. Children, on the other hand, have to learn to live with their separated parents, forever.
Good relationship is important
Sometimes parents cope well with divorce and know that they need to end up having a good relationship for the sake of their children. But this is not always so easy since there can be feelings of pain and loss that are difficult to combine with a good relationship. It is necessary that couples who leave it, having children in common, know that they will never be a couple again, but that they will always be the parents of their children. For that alone, they should try to do their best.
It is also important that parents know how to separate their children from the entire emotional process. Children feel guilty about what happens and they are not to blame for anything. It is important that parents never make their children an intermediary between them.
They are not intermediaries
This can happen subtly and build up over time. You don't want to talk to your ex. He goes back to dealing with old problems when you talk to him. She is cold and distant every time you call her. He prefers to avoid contact at all costs. So you tell your child that the other parent should know that they need to buy their clothes from school or that they should pick them up on the other parent's day ... Without realizing it, you are putting your child as an intermediary between you and your ex.
Children will feel the pressure to be the messenger. They can be given an unpleasant message to deliver to the other parent. This causes stress for the child. In such cases, technology is your friend. When you want to avoid conflicts, send text messages or email. Your email does not have an emotional reaction telling your ex that it is his turn to pay for school supplies! Y you will avoid hurting your children.
Parenting is difficult: Add in divorce and it can be quite a challenge! Just remember that you are the one in control of your behavior and how you decide to be a parent during the divorce. You will never be able to control the other person, his / her behavior belongs to him / her. Although this may be a scary notion, it is reality.
Remember that your children only want to live calmly and happily next to their parents, even if it is in separate houses. Your children deserve harmony and happiness and for that reason, try to have as cordial a relationship as possible with your ex.