Sometimes the act of leaving everything implies something positive: giving yourself the opportunity to be happy. We know that it is not easy to break a bond as strong as a relationship is. However, there are moments throughout our lives when saying goodbye is an act of growth that we must carry out.
We must bear in mind that "being a couple" does not imply happiness being assured. Being a couple implies that the two parties work every day for the relationship, that there is reciprocity and the clear feeling that to be together, there must be many more things than love: respect, communication, complicity... If one of these pillars fails, everything fails. Hence we must evaluate new options. Today in Bezzia We help you reflect on it.
Give a new chance or leave it all
Surely you too have seen yourself at this complex crossroads. Sometimes, our relationships have already gone through many bumps, there where, without knowing how, there is one who always ends up losing. And that person is you.
- You have forgiven many things. Aspects that later have not been recognized or, worse still, respected.
- You have invested time and effort in a person who has not appreciated the resignations that you have come to make.
- You have given many opportunities. To the point where there comes a time when you perceive that what you have offered is your own self-esteem. You feel empty for all those times you have given in, without receiving anything in return.
Sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that loving someone is giving everything for nothing. And this thinking, this attitude towards relationships, is a serious error fostered by the classic idea of romantic love.
Loving someone and building a healthy relationship involves these fundamental pillars.
- A love is a complicity. I am an accomplice of your life, of your thoughts and needs. Together we build a common space where there is understanding and where we know and care for each other.
- A love is reciprocity. It is knowing how to give to those we love but also being in our right to receive. It is a mutual exchange where both win and no one loses.
- A love is effective and affective communication. It is knowing how to listen with empathy, it is knowing how to reach agreements and establish respect where words do not harm through contempt or irony.
If none of this has been respected, and you perceive that what you feel every day is suffering or disappointment, the wisest act will undoubtedly be to leave everything behind. Nevertheless, this is a decision that only you can make. Do not be carried away by what others tell you.
Pay attention to what your family and friends can tell you. Nevertheless, every act of courage requires having to know very well what one wants and what one needs. The decision is yours, because to "leave everything" is to allow yourself to be happy again but have to go through a duel first. There where to assume the loss, the disappointment and where to find ourselves again.
Leaving everything means taking care of myself again
Leaving everything does not mean starting from scratch. Absolutely, leaving everything means renewing and recovering not only our happiness from before, but to allow us to advance with greater wisdom integrating an experience, and knowing ourselves a little better.
Life is change
If you thought that life was a straight path where happiness is guaranteed, you will have discovered long ago that it is not so. What living involves making tough decisions, that sometimes we make mistakes or fail, and that this should not force us to go back, but to advance with greater wisdom.
Rebuild a wounded heart
Leaving someone implies having to overcome many aspects. In the first place, you are going to have to collect fragment by fragment every part of your broken or violated self-esteem. It will take time to heal those wounds that no one sees, but day by day the pain will be less and there will come a time when you will feel good about yourself.
Rebuilding a wounded heart is an art that many must do many times throughout their lives. In fact, In Japan there is an art called Kintsugi, where the weak becomes beautiful and strong and it serves as an excellent metaphor in this case.
- When an object breaks, the artisans join its pieces with gold.
- The result is of great beauty. In Japan, it is believed that previously broken objects deserve to be repaired with gold so that the wounds can be seen, because they are wounds that dignify the object itself and make it more beautiful.
- It is also said that objects repaired and reattached to the Kintsugi, never break again.
This metaphor is worth taking as your own. It is about understanding that having gone through a failure does not imply having to think that we do not deserve to be happy again, that our broken pieces are not going to come together again to allow us to be happy.
Life is learning, and from everything we have to obtain knowledge and wisdom. Sometimes leaving everything is the only way to be happy, and we will achieve it by joining our disappointments and disappointments with gold to emerge strengthened again before life.
Because love is joy, not suffering. Y We all deserve to be happy and find that love that truly dignifies us as a person. It is worth giving ourselves second chances and living to the fullest every day of our life.