Crying, kicking, screaming, thrown on the ground, scratches on the face, covering the ears, etc. All of these are emotions that the child shows by way of calls for attention to be paid attention to or to satisfy their needs or whims. However, for parents they are overwhelming moments in which patience takes a back seat.
These calls for attention are called 'tantrums', which are absolutely normal from an early age, since they are part of the child's development. Each one has a personality that takes hold over time and these moments are considered key to correcting their behavior.
As the little ones do not yet have the ability to show or express their frustration or anger through language, they attract attention with these signs of discomfort and that test the parents' patience. So when they acquire their first words the tantrums will diminish.
Generally, these usually appear from the first year of life decreasing in the fourth, since this is where you already have a more fluent handling of language. Thus, by the age of four, tantrums will decrease in both frequency and intensity.
How to deal with a tantrum?
Tantrums are considered acts of caprice in children. However, some causes of them are due to the needs of childhood life, that is, boredom, sleepiness, child malaise, hunger, hygiene, etc. Therefore, the first thing to do is ask what is wrong with you.
In no way should we ignore any wrong attitude. First of all, we must reassure him and through words of encouragement to ask him that when he is calm and does not cry, mother will listen to him. The waiting time for the tantrum to stop will decrease as the child learns.
On the contrary, if it is a tantrum on a whim Parents have to be firm in each performance, because if he is allowed and given everything he asks for in the future, he will be a spoiled child, having education problems. In addition, if it is a moment of manipulation by the little one towards his parents, it is necessary to set limits so as not to make the child take the power of everything.
The attitude of the parents
There are many parents who do not have much patience and as long as he no longer listens to the child, he consents to everything. Therefore, they must be aware that this is not good for their future so they will have to train well to be able to withstand many tantrums.
Also, some choose to give a slap or smack in the ass because they can't take it anymore. That is, as a last resort they opt for violence so that the little one stops, but this is even more counterproductive than if we consent to it. Therefore, the main key to calm tantrums is dialogue and affection.
But everything is not the fault of the little ones. Many tantrums are the result of a stressful environment at home, so the baby feels in a routine bubble of submission and nervousness that he can not cope with except with these negative expressions.
How to cope with these negative attitudes?
We have already said that tantrums are acts of rebellion by the baby that make parents desperate. Therefore, now we leave you a guideline series to be able to cope without you getting so desperate at all times.
- Firmness and dialogue - When the parents are firm in the face of a tantrum and explain everything clearly and concisely, it decreases in just a few minutes and the child understands that if he continues down that path he will not achieve anything. Consequences must be established for their actions, such as, for example, 'If you don't brush your teeth every day, after eating, there will be no park in the afternoon'. In these consequences there should be no hesitation or treatment, in this way, the child will learn to establish routines.
- Anticipate the tantrum and patience - It is difficult to control your own anger, but you have to be patient. Therefore, we must be consistent and if we continue with the anger after having passed the little one's tantrum, he will not understand it because he does not even remember it. In addition, problem situations must be avoided at all costs since there is a sure tantrum.
- Never demand, let me choose - Educating a child does not mean that he should do your will, since he has his character, his personality and his tastes. Therefore, you have to let him choose between two valid options, but never use a NO.
- The troublesome NO - All people have a temperament, but children do not have the ability to reason correctly, when they hear a NO it is as if you closed all possibilities. For this, explain in simple and clear words that 'You can NOT play ball indoors, but you CAN play in the garden'.
- Normal tone - Sometimes you have to let the children pass the tantrum so that they can vent all their anger, however, when they want to address you they should do so in a tone without screaming or crying, in order to understand them, otherwise, we will Ignore what you tell us until you speak correctly.
Ultimately, the tantrums key it is in knowing how to differentiate them, in order to know how to handle them correctly. In addition, educating children in a calm and tolerant environment where knowing how to resolve different frustrations makes their emotions stabilize and they know how to deal with them in the future.