If love is squeezing, if you perceive that nothing fits no matter how much effort you invest in your relationship, it may be time to accept reality. To let go. We are sure that throughout your life cycle you have often had the feeling that you have invested a high cost in certain goals, dreams and projects that have led you nowhere. Even more, they have made you lose even part of your self-esteem.
When it comes to relationships, the issue is somewhat more complex. It is usual that at the beginning there is more than one difference, small discrepancies that little by little, can weave long distances. We strive every day to iron out these inequalities, to reach agreements, to harmonize spaces and projects. We want everything to fit yes or yes. Now, the emotional investment involved a prolonged effort where no results are seen, it can become very destructive. We invite you to reflect on it.
The love that hurts, the love that wears away
There are intense loves, loves of a summer, conscious and mature loves and loves that simply do not have our size. The effort we invest in getting so many differences to harmonize can be so exhausting that both of us end up hurting ourselves too much.
Now, since we all know that love is above all working every day for one's relationship ... How do you know that this effort is not going to get you anywhere? Let's think about these aspects for a few moments.
What you want, what i want
For a relationship to work it is not necessary that we share the same hobbies, tastes, that we have read the same books or that we have the same friends. The idea of "soul mates" tends to have nuances that do not always correspond to reality. The only area in which it is essential to agree is in our values.
- The partner who respects each other, who loves each other and is mature enough to allow the other person to have their own voice, their own hobbies and passions and, in turn, share them with him or her, will be fighting for their own relationship.
- Who does not "fit" that the other person continues to grow personally in their own spaces, that they have their friends, their dreams and aspirations is vetoing part of who is loved. Because being a couple is building a common space but at the same time, remaining two people as a team.
- What you want and what I want must find common paths. We will respect differences, but it is always to find a common point where the balance is. This is achieved by having the same values.
When we realize that we don't "fit in" with the other person's life
There is nothing harder and more complex than surrendering to the evidence. Despite the existence of love and having tried it anyway, nothing works. There comes a time when the emotional cost is so high that there is only one option left: let it go.
- It is not easy to realize it the first time. Nor should you look for guilty when at last, you perceive that everything done has been of no use. Realize that this love is synonymous with suffering more than happiness, it is a reality that We will only see after a long journey of disappointments and dreams that are not fulfilled.
- Sometimes, despite the existence of affection and passion, there are no more aspects in common. Dialogue is not fruitful, there is no empathy, there is no complicity that really could have allowed us to create bridges, create that common, serene and meaningful life that we all desire.
As we say, the last thing to do is look for culprits. Likewise, we should not regret what we have experienced. Love is always worth it, in fact it is the most important dimension for which the best battles must be fought. So, if both of you have tried, neither of you will leave empty. Everything experienced has been worth it, and even if it is hard, the only way to be happy is to cut that bond and keep moving forward.
Let go
Letting go is the natural process of life. Nobody teaches us when we come to this world that we are going to have to give up many things, that to learn sometimes we have to suffer, that love is not enough to be happy in a relationship. All this is taught to us by experience and above all, our worth to face each experience.
Believe it or not when we finally perceive that this love does not have our size and that it is better to let go, we will finally feel a relief. Although it will not be easy to overcome the mourning for that goodbye, the courage to finally be able to close that door that has brought us so many tears is a way to heal ourselves, to take care of ourselves.
In case of not doing it, in case of continuing to want everything to fit, What will happen is that either of you will have to give up many things to "fit" into the other person's life. In this case, what happens is that self-esteem is violated, and we simply stop being ourselves.
Do not let that happen. It is not the right thing to do. Whoever loves you well will make you happy, they will never force you to be anything that you are not already.