Sometimes love and desire can go their separate ways. The "desire" it can sometimes be experienced as something forbidden, as something purely erotic and not associated with a relationship. But without a doubt, nothing can be as intense and perfect as living with our partner these essential dimensions: love and desire.
But is it possible to keep that flame alive despite the years? Sometimes routine, everyday life, is that silent enemy that is extinguishing our passion with the person we love. We become predictable, we know everything about our partner and he knows everything about us. Little by little and without realizing it, it is possible to fall into a lack of desire. An aspect that little by little, can distance us. Hence, today we want to talk to you about this essential aspect. It's possible keep the desire alive in the couple despite the years? Of course. We explain how.
1. Sexuality, beyond the biological
Sometimes many couples end up experiencing an unexpected infidelity. The desire that we may suddenly feel for another person fills us with sudden emotions that wake us up again. That ignite that emotion for the erotic and the forbidden that, somehow, we have lost with our partner.
And it is a risk. But at this point it is worth differentiating two aspects. Sex and eroticism. It is possible to have an "affair" based solely on sex, but without feelings. And that is something that never offers true happiness. The ideal, the most pleasant and satisfying thing is to experience an authentic eroticism with our partner. Wherever emotions, games are combined ...
It doesn't matter how long it takes, it doesn't matter how much we know each other. It is always possible to innovate small changes where to keep that desire alive, where love is always intense. Where we are two fellow accomplices who know each other perfectly and who can further develop their eroticism. Sexuality does not have only a biological purpose. Is a pact between two people to further unite their commitment and offer each other pleasure.
2. Why is it sometimes difficult for us to keep desire alive?
This would undoubtedly be the key question. And it may surprise you, but not always the "Time factor" It is the culprit that little by little, we are losing desire. We give you some simple examples:
- Lack of self-confidence: there are times when doubts are in our own head, and not in the relationship itself. There are people who think that they are no longer as attractive as before, that their partners have become too used to them and they no longer look at them in the same way. It is possible that the real problem is in our lack of self-esteem. In not feeling proud or happy with who we are or how we are.
- Concerns: a job that requires many obligations. And even the lack of a job can divert our attention to other aspects that make us prioritize other dimensions, before sexuality. It is without a doubt the most frequent problem. Daily worries.
- Frustration: another important aspect to consider. We may come to a point in our lives where we suddenly take stock. When we realize that we have not achieved everything we dreamed of. Frustration appears and with it unhappiness. It is not that we are bad with our partner, it is perhaps a dissatisfaction with ourselves. An existential crisis that can appear at a given moment, causing us to lose interest in sexuality.
3. How can we keep the desire alive in the couple?
- Understand that the passage of time or knowing everything about your partner is not a reason for you to lose your desire. It is a weapon, a key. Two people who know each other perfectly are two playmates excellent.
- Understand that desire is the best way to show your partner that you still love him. It is an accomplice energy that enriches your relationship.
- The relationship between love and desire is without a doubt the best combination. We offer protection, concern, responsibility… pillars that build the couple's relationship.
- El I wish it is not programmed. It is something spontaneous. That is, sometimes you may set yourself a vacation, there where you can resume that lost desire. Not a bad idea, of course. But sometimes it is not always effective. Allow spontaneity, play, the unexpected to emerge ... Setting schedules or routines is a great enemy of eroticism and the unexpected.
- Put aside worries, doubts, resentments. For the true desire to arise first it is worth it "Eroticize" our mind. Dream about your partner, innovate desires, situations ... first dream and then apply. But keep in mind that these fantasies will not arise if we are dominated by everyday stress. Because of anxiety.
- Do not put walls to desire. It is not worth being shy. Perhaps it is time to break down walls of shame and insecurity to be a little more daring and enjoy new aspects with your partner.
- The desire principle is based on exploratory need, curiosity, and the need to have the other person by our side.
- Desire requires one's own sexual intimacy and as a couple. Therefore, you have to look for moments and spaces. Sometimes we prioritize other aspects, such as work, so the ideal is to balance between the professional and the personal.
- El eroticism is not a matter of 5 minutes. It is worth keeping in mind.
- Let us erase from our minds the common idea that spontaneity, over time, declines.
As you can see, keeping the desire alive requires a clear will and sometimes some change of thought. It is worth keeping in mind.