There are parents who feel wrong and believe that having authority over their children means that they should cry or fear them with toxic respect. Nothing is further from reality. Having good authority over your children means that they respect you without fear and that there is no need to cry when you try to discipline them.
You may feel like your kids are tense when you discipline them. They may insist on things many times just to get their way, and it may be tempting for you to give in just because you don't have to endure a battle to avoid a tantrum. But young children need limits and rules because only in this way will they learn to have good behavior, knowing what is expected of them at all times. But how do you have authority without going through the tears of a tantrum? How to do it right?
Do not impose your will in a punitive way
First of all, you will have to avoid a war of wills before it begins, so it is necessary that you give your children divergences a minute before you make any changes. This will help you avoid a power struggle. For example, if the game time is up, you will have to notify him 5 minutes in advance so that you know that game time is running out.
If, for example, it's bedtime and he's playing, you can say something like: 'You can build two more blocks and then we'll put on our pajamas, go to dinner, and then read a bedtime story.' When your child has finished building two more blocks, tell him that playtime is over and guide him in what to do now in the evening routines.
Give him alternatives
For children to feel in control they must have alternatives, they must have several options to choose from. In this way they will feel that they have some control over the situation they are experiencing at that moment. For example, if you are about to go to the park, and your child objects when you ask him to get ready to go out, you could ask: 'Do you want to put on your shoes or jacket first?' (keeping the options to a minimum of two will reduce the chance of getting confused).
It can also be helpful if you do the physical tracking when putting on the coat and shoes with your child. By doing the same, you will be modeling the behavior you want to see in your little one.
The alternatives will always help him to feel that he is in control and above all, that you are respecting his idiosyncrasies, that you are capable of understanding and respecting him.
Respect above all
To gain authority in your children, what really matters is respect. To achieve this, you must think about the respect you want them to have with you, because you must first have it with them.
Respect does not mean shouting and being afraid of you, it means that you are by their side to guide them, to help them, and listen to them with understanding and empathy. Your children will feel safe by your side and will know that they can count on you whenever they need it. Work your emotions together and everything will go much better.