Many parents do not know that punishments do not educate and continue to use them without really knowing the negative consequences that they can have both in the relationship with their children, as well as in the physical and emotional health of the children. Punishments only generate resentment, resentment and do not educate. Punishment is punitive and does not allow children to learn and reflect on the behavior that they have had negative at a given time.
Consistent and immediate consequences
Consequences, on the other hand, are a great teaching tool because they teach children that their behavior will always have consequences, and that these can be negative or positive. In addition, it allows children to feel some control over their behavior, which will help them feel responsible for their actions.
But of course, the consequences for them to be a good teaching tool must be applied correctly. The first thing is that the consequences to be effective must be consistent, So if you do it well twice and the third time you become permissive or stop using them, then you will have thrown all the work to the ground and it will not have long-term effectiveness in the child and in their behavior.
In addition to being consistent, the consequences must be immediate, because if you do not apply them as soon as possible, they will not be effective either, since the child will not know how to differentiate the action-consequence. The consequence will simply have lost all its value and will be of no use in terms of behavior modification.
Teaching tool
It is necessary to differentiate the consequences from the punishments. They should be used as a teaching tool and should not embarrass children. In fact, such punishment makes behavior problems worse, it never improves them. Natural or logical consequences are also a great way to ensure that the consequence fits the misbehavior. Then, If your child refuses to turn off video games, put them away. Or, if he rides his bike outside of where you have allowed him to, take the bike away from him.
It is important that before applying the consequences to your child, you have to have discussed and well agreed, what are the rules that he must follow and what are the consequences that he must have in case he does not comply with the rules. In this way, the child will have the opportunity to feel control over his behavior and will decide what he prefers at all times.
The consequences should be moderate
They become less effective when overused. Children who lose all their privileges for an extended period of time begin to lose motivation to regain it. Standby time also becomes less effective when used multiple times throughout the day.
If your child requires frequent consequences, try to change things because it doesn't seem to be working. You should use other discipline tools such as the reward system, give frequent praise or ignore misbehavior and pay attention to the appropriate behavior that you do want to reinforce. Positive discipline is essential to help children change their behavior while improving their emotional state. This will motivate them to improve their behavior and also to feel better about themselves.