Okay, have you met a boy or girl who seems to finally the perfect person for you: He is attentive, charming, polite, intelligent, thoughtful, funny, affectionate… He seems to have it all! Months go by and each time you feel more and more in love with him, more attracted both physically and emotionally and you start to think that the worst thing that could happen to you would be to lose him ...
Everything he does you see well you do not see that I make mistakes in no time and you admire it so much that you have it on a pedestal… Here we come to what matters to us!
A priori I will tell you that:
- Love is beautiful when it is reciprocated and you have all the right in the world not only to live it but also to manifest it (you must not care for those who think you are cloying or too corny, perhaps their envy for them or their disappointment for not feeling as blissful and happy as you speak).
- The perfect person does not existLikewise, you are not perfect either ... Therefore, it is normal that couples are not always perfect ... If an argument has happened within that relationship that seemed perfect, calm down! It is totally normal, and even healthy for a good relationship.
- Over time two things can happen: one, that you see the reality of your partner (both the virtues and the defects) and keep falling in love, or two, that you finally discover their little flaws, defects or hobbies and how idealized you had it initially, now let you be disappointed and love is over for it...
If you idealize your partner in the first moments of your relationship you will only get disappointed with time, because as we said at the beginning, there is no one perfect or ideal in the world. That is why We advise you to admire your partner but not idealize her. There is a big difference between these two concepts, and we will explain it to you below.
Admire your partner
In the admiration we feel towards the couple is a large part of the secret for that relationship to be lasting. It is logical, don't you think? We could not be with a person whom we do not admire, whom we see every day and we feel that he does not contribute anything because he does not do anything interesting ... What is admiring? Let's give some examples:
- The couple is admired when we see that they have a hard job and that despite it every morning they wake up diligently and determined to that daily task.
- The couple is admired when we see their willpower or their courage in certain situations.
- The couple is admired when we see that they are able to overcome any bump no matter how difficult it may be.
And like these we could put many more examples. It is super valuable not only to admire your partner but also to make him see that you feel that admiration for her. Therefore, we recommend that recognize their merits, that you support him in his day to day as well as in those tasks that are more tedious and that you appreciate him, ... Appreciate your partner a lot and recognize in front of him or her all the good and admirable that you see him ...
Admire but don't idealize
One thing is to admire (as we have explained in the previous case) and quite another is to idealize. When do we idealize? When with the virtues that we observe in our partner we also cover the possible defectsI know I may have ...
And it is that very often, we listen to friends, who before told us how happy and delighted they were with their partners and that now, a few months later, they tell us that they are no longer attracted either physically or emotionally, that this person wonderful has become someone else and they no longer recognize in him or her that person who once fell in love with them ... What happened here? Well, it is nothing more than a case of idealization. They only saw the good and virtuous in their partner but did not pay attention to the defects that they also had.
Your partner is not God, your partner makes mistakes like yourself And like any other person: there will be days when he is not focused on you due to stress or overwork, there will be an important date that he forgets, he will come home tired or tired and he will not be looking forward to that night of dialogue ... But, nothing happens! He is not a god who can do everything. He is human and as such, he has his good days and his bad days ... Not for that reason, he has stopped loving or appreciating you ... Another very different thing would be for all this to become a habit and something very everyday (then yes, communicate with him, ask him what's wrong and tell him what you feel).
Therefore, admire your partner but do not idealize her, don't put it on any pedestal ... Put it at the same height and be aware that it is wonderful, just like you, but it also has its bad days, its flaws and its manias that may be unbearable for you but that make it as unique and special, as yours make you.