If you have a child who has school anxiety, the nerves can sometimes be normal, especially when school starts. It is a good idea to soften things up and comfort him, but you have to choose the most appropriate words. Therefore, do not miss these 5 phrases that you can say to him every day.
Tell me your concerns, I listen to you
If you feel that your child is stressed or worried, invite him to tell you. Children are comforted when they know they have adults to trust. Try to really listen. Don't feel pressured to launch solutions or rationalizations. The simple act of listening shows children that we care.
You seem to feel nervous about ...
Parents naturally want to solve their children's problems. However, many of them omit a small detail that makes a big difference for children: validation. After listening to your child express himself, repeat the words back to him. Paraphrase what you have understood and verify the words.
How I can help?
Instead of jumping in with an enthusiastic list of ideas, ask your child what he needs. It may be that something small like accompanying her the first day or preparing a special snack makes all the difference.
Let's make a list of all the things you want to happen
Writing down all the positives builds anticipation for the good things. It doesn't matter what your child is excited about, whether it's about learning science or just about Tuesday's favorite hot lunch. Focusing on the things that will make you happy will ease your worries.
Every school year is an opportunity for a new beginning!
Failures from the previous school year, whether academic or social, They can put a damper on your child's future expectations. However, children are very encouraged by the idea of a blank slate. Help him embrace the concept of starting over.
What NOT to say to an anxious child
While there are many ways to get your worried child ready for the new year, There are some phrases that you will want to avoid. Discouraging language can exacerbate our children's concerns and break their confidence. Never minimize a child's fear or anxiety. Do not tell:
- there is nothing to fear
- You'll be fine
- It is not a big thing
Keep in mind that none of these statements explicitly make fun of your child, and they are generally all true. However, they undermine a child's concerns. Children's concerns are real to them, and validating them is the most helpful thing parents can do. If your child is still very nervous… this is normal. Keep offering your support on an ongoing basis.
On the other hand, if you realize that those nerves go further and do not allow him to lead a normal life, then it will be necessary for you to discover exactly what is happening so that your child feels that way. Perhaps he is experiencing conflictive situations at school that require your help.