Ngaba uyazibuza ukuba ungayifumana njani emva kokuba ungathembekanga? Ngaba uyazisola? Ngaba uyayifuna? Kulwalamano oluninzi, ukungathembeki kugqiba yonke into ... yenye yezona zinto zimbi ezinokwenzeka kubudlelwane. Abantu abaninzi bakwacinga ukuba xa umntu engathembekanga, akukho nto inokumnqanda ukuba angaphinde ayenze ukuze ukuthembana kuphule ngokupheleleyo.
Ke kwenzeka ntoni xa ukopela umfana wakho, kodwa umfuna? Ngokwesiqhelo xa umntu ekhohlisiwe, bacinga ngento yokuba umntu wabo okhethekileyo wayenomnye umntu, kwaye iqabane labo aliziva ngendlela efanayo ngabo. Bacinga ukuba iqabane elingathembekanga alinayo imbeko, ukuthembana, ukuthembeka, uthando, uthando, ukukhula, ukuthembeka kunye nonxibelelwano oluyimfuneko kubudlelwane obuzinzileyo.
Kodwa, kukho iimeko apho isibini sinokuxolela kwaye sikhethe ukubuyela kubudlelwane. Mhlawumbi ngoku uyazibuza lo mbuzo: "Ndingayifumana njani emva kokuba ndiyikhohlisile?" Unethamsanqa ukuba ufuna ukuxolelana kwaye alungise izinto phakathi kwenu nobabini. Ukuba wenza oku, lo ngumqondiso omhle kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, unomsebenzi omninzi ekufuneka wenziwe.
Ukucinga ngokwakho
Nangona kunokubonakala ngathi ukucinga ngawe ngekhe kukuncede uphumelele isithandwa sakho, linyathelo elibaluleke kakhulu elo. Kuba wenze isenzo esiphelise ubudlelwane bakho kwaye washukumisa umhlaba wesoka lakho, kuya kufuneka wazi ukuba kutheni umvisa kabuhlungu kunye nezinto onazo. Kutheni wamkhohlisa? Kuya kufuneka uyazi ukuba kutheni uyenzile ukutshintsha into engalunganga kubudlelwane ngaphambi kokuba umbuyise.
Kuya kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba uzinikele kuye nakubudlelwane bakho kwaye ufuna ukuba naye. Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu, kubalulekile ukuba wazi ukuba kutheni unikezele kolu khuthazo lomzuzu. Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba ukuba ubukhangela indoda ukuba wonwabe, mhlawumbi kungenxa yokuba ulwalamano lwakho alonelisi ngokwaneleyo. Ukuba kunjalo, kuya kufuneka usebenzele kulwalamano lwakho ukuze uphephe ukumenzakalisa kwakhona.
Cinga ngokwakho kwaye kutheni uyenzile. Yintoni ekufuneka itshintshiwe kubudlelwane ukuze ingaphindi yenzeke kwaye yonke into ihambe kakuhle ukusukela ngoku, kusebenza ukuthembana phakathi kwenu.
Zamkele iimpazamo zakho
Ukunyaniseka malunga noku kuphela kwendlela eya phambili. Kufuneka abone ukuba awuxoki kwaye uyazi ukuba into oyenzileyo yayingalunganga. Kwakhona, khumbula intlungu oyibangelayo kwaye ubonakalise indlela ekwenza uzive ngayo. Oku kuya kuba sisikhumbuzo esiluncedo kuwe. Iya kuhlala ikukhumbuza ukuba ungakhohlisi kwisithandwa sakho njengoko uza kuyithiya intlungu oyifaka kuyo.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba awunantlungu, oko kuthetha ukuba ubudlelwane abufanelanga ukulungiswa, ufuna enye into kwaye kuya kufuneka ushiye ukunqanda ukumenzakalisa kwakhona. Kananjalo, xa ufunda ukuba ungayifumana njani emva kokungathembeki, kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba eyona ndlela yokwenza oko kukunyaniseka. Oko kuthetha ukuba baya kukubuza imibuzo emininzi kwaye kuya kufuneka uthembeke kwaye uvule. Kuya kufuneka uhlale ubala ixesha elide (Ngapha koko, kungcono ukuba ube njalo ngokubanzi kubo bonke ubudlelwane.)
Ewe kunjalo… cela uxolo kuye kwaye umnike ixesha kunye nendawo ukuba kufuneka ayilungise intliziyo yakhe kwaye angabuya akuthande ngokunyanisekileyo.