Zininzi iindidi zamadoda kwaye into esiza kukuxelela yona ngokulandelayo ayisiyonto isebenza kuwo wonke umntu, kuba nganye iya kuba nendlela yayo yokujongana nezinto. Nangona iyindlela ebanzi yokujonga indlela amadoda ajongana ngayo nokwahlukana.
Abathandi ukuhlala bodwa
Okokuqala, abantu zizilwanyana zasentlalweni, eyindoda, eyasetyhini, okanye yomntwana. Akukho mntu ufuna ukuba yedwa, ngakumbi emva kokuchitha ixesha elininzi nomnye umntu. Ukwahlukana kulungelelwaniso olukhulu lweemvakalelo kubo bobabini abesilisa nabasetyhini; makungabikho mpikiswano ngaloo nto. Isizathu sokuba abanye abantu bakwazi ukumelana ngcono kunabanye kukuba abanye abantu bathintela iimvakalelo ezingcono kunabanye.
Amadoda awangxami ukuhlala phantsi
Ukuzithemba kwinto yokuba banokufumana iqabane elitsha ngaphandle kokuba semngciphekweni wokuguga baphume kwinqanaba labo yinto eluncedo emadodeni. Abasetyhini bahlala bengabelani ngento efanayo ngokwazi ukuba banokuluhlehlisa uphando lwabo lweqabane.
Abasetyhini abaninzi baziva bengxamile ukutshata ngaphambi kwexesha elithile ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukeneyo. Amadoda awakhathali ngayo, kwaye ngethamsanqa kubo ngokwesini, akukho mfuneko. Amadoda akufuneki acwangcise izinto ezinjengokuba nomntwana kwiminyaka eyiyo. Xa ungenayo iwotshi esebenza ngokuchasene nawe, izinto zilula kancinci.
Ngaba amakhwenkwe ayalila xa eyophula?
Ukuba inguye owahlukana nawe, ngekhe ahlale ekhaya elila iinyembezi emva koko. Ungakhala ngexesha lengxoxo yokuqala malunga nokwahlukana, kodwa ukuba kunjalo, olo lolona hlobo liphezulu.
Kuba inguye ophelisa ubudlelwane, unikwe ingcinga eyoneleyo yokujongana neemvakalelo zakhe. Ukuba ubonakala enzulu ngalo mzuzu, sukucinga ukuba akanamphefumlo kwaye akazange akhathalele ubudlelwane, kuba ayiyonyani kwaphela leyoo.
Ngaba amadoda ayakhala xa wohlukana nawo?
Ewe Ukwazi ukuba iqabane lakho elithandekayo alisafuni ukuba kunye nawe kubuhlungu kubo bobabini isini. Abanye abantu banesithintelo esingqongileyo esivumela ukuba bazilungiselele ngokwengqondo ukuphoxeka ngaphambi kokuba kwenzeke. Okumangalisayo kukuba, loo mqobo unokuba sesona sizathu sokuba ulwalamano lwakho luphele.
Ukuthandana ngokungaqhelekanga, loo mqobo ubalulekile. Ukuba ulwalamano olulula kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo uza kuqhekeka, kuya kufuneka ungasondeli. Kodwa nokuvalelisa kwinto yethutyana kunokuba buhlungu kakhulu, ngokwaneleyo ukwenza indoda ikhale.
Uya kuba nini neqabane elitsha?
Kungaba buhlungu ukuyicinga le nto, kodwa mhlawumbi ngosuku olulandelayo yayinguye owayiqhekezayo. Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile ukuba uqwalasele ubude bobudlelwane ngaphambi kokwenza uqikelelo. Ukuba ibubuhlobo obunzulu obuhlala iminyaka emininzi, mhlawumbi kungenjalo. Kodwa eweNdizama ukuhamba kwangoko, uya kufuna ukungcwaba imemori yakho nomnye umntu ngokukhawuleza.
Unokujonga unxibelelwano olukhawulezayo ukunceda ukuvala inxeba lakho kancinci. Ukudibana ngokwasemzimbeni nomnye umntu kuya kunceda ukwahlukana kube yinto kuye. Kukho umntu othile ofuna ukumbona kubudlelwane bakho.
Nangona enokuzama ukuthandana nomntu kanye emva kokuba ekulahlile, oko akuthethi ukuba ufumene wena. Uya kuba phambi kweengcinga zakhe ngalo lonke ixesha nokuba uhlala nenye intombazana.