Amabinzana afana nokuthi “uyaphambana”, “usoloko uzikhusela” okanye “uyibaxa kakhulu” zixhaphake kakhulu kwizibini ezininzi namhlanje. Into ebonakala iqhelekile kwaye iqhelekile, ifihla uhlobo lokuxhatshazwa olunokuba nemiphumo enzulu engqondweni kumntu obandezelekileyo.
Le ndlela yokukhohlisa isibini Kubizwa ngokuba yi-gaslighting okanye i-gaslighting.
Ukukhanya kwegesi okanye indlela yokukhohlisa isibini
Le nto ixhaphake kakhulu kunokuba abantu banokukholelwa ekuqaleni kwaye ayikho into engaphezu kwendlela yokuxhatshazwa kwengqondo ezama ukutshintsha ubunyani bomntu ohluphekayo. Into efunwayo kukwenza isibini sikholelwe ukuba siphila kwihlabathi lentelekelelo kwaye yonke into isiqhamo sengqondo yabo. Konke oku kunefuthe elibi ngokweemvakalelo nangokwengqondo.
lawula iqabane
Ngokwenzeka kokukhanya kwegesi umxhaphazi ufuna ukulawula iqabane lakhe aze amthintele ekubeni angazicingeli ngokwakhe. Ukukhohlisa kukuthetha ngokupheleleyo, kusetyenziswa uthotho lwamabinzana anceda ukuhlwayela amathandabuzo malunga neengcinga ezahlukeneyo. Ulawulo olusetyenziswayo ludla ngokuxhokonxa uthotho lweziphumo kumntu oxhatshaziweyo:
- Ukuzithemba okuphantsi kunye nokuzithemba okuphantsi.
- Ukuba likheswa.
- Ukunqongophala kokhuseleko.
- Ixhala
Ukubaluleka kokubuyisela ukuzithemba
Ejongene nokuphathwa kakubi ngolo hlobo, umntu kufuneka aqonde ukuba uphathwa gadalala ngokwasengqondweni liqabane lakhe. Unyango lungundoqo xa kufikwa ekunyangeni le ngxaki kwanokuba umntu oxhatshaziweyo unokuphinda afumane isidima esilahlekileyo. Oku akukho lula konke konke kuba umntu othwaxwa koko kwaziwa ngokuba yi-gaslighting uzimele geqe ngokupheleleyo kusapho nezihlobo kwaye akukho mntu unokumnceda.
Ngaphandle koku, umntu olawulwayo uphantsi kakhulu kwinqanaba lengqondo kunye neemvakalelo. Yiyo loo nto kubalulekile ukuhamba kunyango lokuziphatha kwengqondo, ukuze loo mntu aphinde afumane iinkolelo neengcinga ezilahlekileyo.
Ukuphelisa ubudlelwane obuyityhefu
Iingcali kulo mbandela zicebisa, okokuqala, ukuphelisa ubudlelwane obuyityhefu ngaphambi kokuba iziphumo zibe zikhulu. Njengoko sele sibonisile ngasentla, akukho lula okanye kulula ukuphelisa ubudlelwane obuthethiweyo, kuba umntu oxhatshaziweyo ezifumanisa ebhangisiwe njengomntu kwaye elikheswa ngokupheleleyo kwinqanaba lentlalontle. Akukho naphantsi kweemeko apho umfazi angavunyelwa ukuba abe ngeendleko zeqabane lakhe kwaye angakwazi ukuzenzela izigqibo.
Ngamafutshane, ukukhanyisa igesi yinto eyenzeka rhoqo kunesiqhelo kwizibini ezininzi zanamhlanje. Ubuqhophololo bubangela ukuba umntu oxhatshaziweyo acinge ukuba yonke into isiqhamo sombono wakho yaye ngubani osoloko ebekek’ ityala. Akungabazeki ukuba kukuxhatshazwa kwengqondo kunye nazo zonke iileta ezingavumelekanga ukuba zivunyelwe naluphi na ubudlelwane.