Xa kubonakala ngathi ugxekwa ngalo lonke ixesha, kuba nzima ukubona loo mntu njengomhlobo wakho, isithandwa sakho, okanye umntu okwicala lakho. Kubudlelwane, ukujongana neqabane elihlala likugxeka, kodwa libiza ukuba liyakuthanda, linokukhupha engqondweni, ngokweemvakalelo nangokwenyama.
Ubudlelwane obunempilo abusoloko bugqibelele kwaye amaqabane anokuba ngabagxeki abalungileyo omnye komnye. Kodwa, xa ukugxekwa kuyinto eqhelekileyo kubudlelwane, ngokuqhelekileyo kukho i-hypervigilance eqhubekayo kunye nempendulo "yokulwa, ukubhabha okanye umkhenkce". ihlala ingaphantsi nje komphezulu wazo zonke iindibano.
Enye yezona zinto zinzima ukwenza kukuba nobubele, uvule, nothando xa uziva ngathi ugxekwa rhoqo kwimizuzwana emibini. Xa uziva ngathi umntu ugxeka kakhulu ixesha elide, kukho indawo apho uziva ngathi awusayifuni. Ngoko ke, uqala ukulwa ngokuchasene nabagxeki, ubetha kwaye ubanika incasa yeyeza labo. (inqaku liyaqhubeka ngezantsi)
Xa uziva ngathi kukho umntu osoloko ekugxeka ngokungafanelekanga, kuba nzima kakhulu ukubona eyona nto yenzekayo ngaphakathi komnye umntu. Emva kwakho konke, uyazibuza, "Kutheni bandigxeka kwaye benza ngolu hlobo ukuba bayandithanda kwaye bayandikhathalela?" . Kunzima ukubona uthando kumntu ongqwabalala, ogxekayo kwaye kwiimeko ezininzi zithetha kakubi kuwe. Nazi ezinye "iinyaniso" ngokubanzi malunga nabantu abagxeka kakhulu:
- Bayayoyika
- Abakhuselekanga
- Bacinga ukuba baqhuba kakuhle ngokugxeka
- Baphendula kwiingcinga ezisentloko malunga nawe
- Basenokukuthanda kodwa bakwenza ngendlela eyityhefu
Uziva njani xa ugxekwa?
- Ucinga ukuba yinto engatshintshiyo
- Uchitha amandla amaninzi ukuzikhusela
- Awufuni ukubona okanye ukuvuma ukugxekwa komntu wetora
- Ubuye ugqibele ngokugxeka iqabane lakho
- Ucinga ukuba awunto yanto
Ukujongana neqabane elibalulekileyo kunokuba ngumngeni, ngoko unokuhlangabezana njani nangaphandle kokungquzulana okanye ukonakalisa ukuzithemba kwakho?
Jongana nokugxekwa
Ngaba uyafuna ukwakha unxibelelwano kwaye ube nothando oluninzi? Ngaba uyafuna ukuba noxolo olungakumbi? Ngaba uyafuna ukufumana unxibelelwano lomphefumlo lokwenyani kwakhona? Okanye ngaba wonele kwaye ufuna ukuphuma kubudlelwane? Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba nombono wento oyifunayo ngokwenene, Ukongeza ekuthandeni iqabane lakho kwakhona ukuba uye wakugxeka kakhulu, kuba mhlawumbi uyekile ukumthanda.
Kubalulekile kuba isilingo kukusabela ekugxekeni kwabo ngokubagxeka. Loo mpendulo ayisoze ikunike into oyifunayo, leyo kwiimeko ezininzi ludibaniso ngakumbi kunye nemvakalelo enzulu yothando phakathi kwenu nobabini.
Phuma kwi-loop
Xa uyeka oko kugxekwa, amanye amathuba avuleleka kwaye unokubona ngokwenene ukuba iqabane lakho lifuna ntoni. Xa ujongene neqabane elibalulekileyo, likhokelela ekubeni ubone into entsha kunye neyohlukileyo kwaye wazi ukuba akufuneki ulandele indlela oye wayilandela ... Unokuhlola ezinye iinketho ebomini bakho.
Kubalulekile ukuba nobudlelwane nonxibelelwano oluvulelekileyo nolunyanisekileyo ukuze ube nobomi obonwabisayo nobulula. Akuyomfuneko ukuba unyamezele ukugxekwa ngumntu onetyhefu ukuba awufuni. KUNYE Ukuba uyamthanda ngokwenene loo mntu, mhlawumbi lixesha lokufuna unyango lwezibini.