Njengamaxesha onke kukho iingxaki ezithile ezibakho kubudlelwane nendoda endala, oku kuxa ibala lentlalontle elinxulumana naye libonakala ... Ukuba ukunye nendoda endala kwaye awazi nokuba uqhubeke nobudlelwane, kuya kufuneka ucinge ezintle ucinga ntoni, kodwa nakwizinto ezingalunganga ...
Dibana nosapho
Xa kuziwa kubudlelwane nendoda endala, unokuba neemeko ezinkulu zoxinzelelo okanye kunokuba yibhola yemithambo-luvo xa kufika ixesha lokudibana nosapho. Usenokude ucinge ngokuphelisa ubudlelwane kuba umahluko wobudala yinto engafunwayo ngabazali abaninzi. Oku kuhlala kuyingxaki enkulu kubafazi abanotata ngokwesiko, ayivulekanga kwaye ikhusele kakhulu.
Nangona kunjalo, Ukuba uyakhathala kwaye uyayithanda indoda onayo emva koko abazali bakho kuya kufuneka bafunde ukuhlala nayo (kubalulekile ukukhumbula). Ngokucacileyo, awukhathalelanga umahluko wobudala, ke yiphatha loo "ntlanganiso yomzali" umhla njengayo nayiphi na enye.
Unokuxelela abazali bakhe indlela oziva ngayo ngaye, ulwazi malunga nesoka lakho, kunye nolwalamano oluluncedo. Kungcono ukwenza oku ngaphambi kokuba badibane naye njengoko kuyindlela elungileyo yokubanceda. Musa ukuvelisa umahluko wobudala xa usenza le nto, mabave ukuba uziva njani ngaye kwaye umangalisa kangakanani. Baza kufumanisa umahluko wobudala xa bedibana naye, ngethemba lokuba into obuyixelelwe "iya kunciphisa ukubetha."
Iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuphila
Ngelixa umncinci kwaye uzama ukufezekisa amaphupha akho ngokuhamba, ishishini eliyingozi okanye nokuba uhlala phesheya ukuze uphumelele okanye ufezekise iinjongo zakho. Indoda yakho ayizukuthatha inxaxheba. Ngelishwa le yingxaki enkulu xa uthandana nendoda endala, kuba ngelixa usalinga kwaye uphonononga ubomi, sele enabo.
Okumangalisayo kukuba, umntu onobudlelwane kunye nendoda esele ikhulile yindlela akulungele ngayo ukuzibophelela kwaye azinze kuba sele ekwenzile oko kwezinye iindawo ezininzi zobomi. Apho, awunayo, eyenza le pro ibe yingxaki kwezinye iimeko.
Kananjalo, xa ufuna ukuphuma ebusuku okanye emthendelekweni, akunakuba kungenxa yokuba wenziwe nelo nqanaba lobomi, ke kukho umahluko kwindlela yobomi engqubanayo, Ngaphandle kokuba ndikulungele ukukuzamela, kwaye ngokufanayo
Inexesha elidlulileyo
Xa uthandana nomntu osele ekhulile, ungena kubudlelwane usazi ukuba unalo ixesha elidlulileyo. Nangona kunjalo, unokuba utshatile okanye ubandakanyekile, ubunobudlelwane obuninzi (ezinye zinzulu, ezinye zithandwayo), okanye nabantwana. Ngenxa yokuba emdala, akukho mathandabuzo ukuba unamava kwaye wenze okungaphezulu kunakho.
Bahlobo
Abahlobo bakhe baya kuzibuza ukuba kutheni uhamba naye kwaye udibene njani. Abahlobo bakho baya kubuza umbuzo ofanayo kwaye banokutshintsha indlela abasabela ngayo kuwe. Le ngxaki ifana kakhulu naxa udibana nabazali bakho.
Ukuthandana nendoda endala kunokufana nokuthandana nendoda encinci. Kukho abafana abambalwa abamangalisayo abavuthiweyo, abanqanaba eliphakamileyo, abanenkathalo, abakrelekrele, abanothando, abazinikeleyo, abathembekileyo nabanqanaba eliphakamileyo njengendoda endala. Nangona kunjalo, inyani kukuba la madoda bambalwa kwaye aphakathi kwaye oko kwenza ukuba nobudlelwane kunye nendoda endala yeyona ndlela ilungileyo kubafazi abaninzi.
Ndisoloko ndihlala ndithandana nabasetyhini (kakhulu) abadala kunam de, xa ndandimalunga ne-40, kwenzeka ukuba ndithandane nentombazana eneminyaka eyi-10 ngeenyanga ezili-19.
- Ukusetyenziswa "kwiingxaki zokwenyani", ndithetha ukuba xa kukho into eyenzekileyo eyazisa ukungavisisani kwesi sibini yayihlala iyinto enzima, izinto ezazimkhathaza zazilula ukujongana nam kangangokuba ndandihlala ngokukhululeka. Kwakubonakala kuye ukuba ndinazo zonke iimpendulo, kwaye into endandiyicinga "yayingezizo zonke, kodwa ubuncinci ndandisele ndizifundile ezi zifundo xa yayilixesha lam."
-Ukuba uhlala nomntu owahluke kakhulu kuwe ekuphela kwendlela yezinto ekufuneka zenziwe kukuba ngamnye wenu abe nendawo eninzi yokugcina isazisi sakhe. Ndidinga ixesha lezinto zam ezidikayo, kwaye bendingafuni ukuzibandakanya kubomi bakhe bezentlalo kuba naye ebengenanto ifanayo nabahlobo bakhe (abathi ngendlela bandibiza ngokuba "ngumakazi") kubonakala kunempilo kuye ukuba ancame ukwenza ubomi bakhe kunye nabo ngenxa yam. Into ke kukuba ngenye imini ndothuswa yinto ethi kum: "Nawe ndinazo zonke izibonelelo zokuba neqabane kwaye andilahlekanga ngazo zonke izibonelelo ebendinazo ngokungatshati, bendingazi ukuba ukuthandana nomntu umdala kunam wayenjalo. "
Le nto yaphela xa kufuneka iphele ngenxa yezizathu ezingahambelani nobudala (njengazo naziphi na ezinye izibini, yiza) kodwa umoya phakathi kwethu awuzange uyeke ukulunga kunye namava endicinga ukuba awasivumela sobabini. Kodwa ndicinga ukuba ihamba ngakumbi emntwini kunokuba kunjalo ngeemeko.