Ngaba kubhetele ukunyaniseka ngenkohlakalo okanye ngamanye amaxesha uthethe ubuxoki obumhlophe ukuze uphephe iingxabano ezingeyomfuneko? Ngaba ukunyaniseka kubudlelwane kubalulekile njengoko ucinga? Ukuqinisa ubudlelwane bothando kunye neqabane lakho kwaye uhlale uqhagamshelene ngakumbi omnye komnye, kufuneka unyaniseke ngokupheleleyo. Okukhona uzimisele ngakumbi, kokukhona uthando luya kuba luthando ngakumbi.
Nangona kunjalo, unokuba nokunyaniseka kwenyani kuphela kubudlelwane ukuba unyaniseke ngokugqibeleleyo kuwe. Nje ukuba ukwazi kakuhle oko, unokwakha ubudlelwane obuzinzileyo nabantu abakungqongileyo.
Ukunyaniseka kulwalamano kuhamba nokuthembana
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba ufuna intuthuzelo ngaphandle kobudlelwane kwaye uthandana nomnye umntu, inyani elula kukuba awonwabanga kubudlelwane, uyaqhawula kuyo, kwaye okubi ngakumbi, awunyanisekanga kunye nawe kunye neqabane lakho. Umsebenzi ocela umngeni apha kukuthetha ngento engasebenziyo kwaye ubone ukuba ungayilungisa kwaye uqhubele phambili nobudlelwane.
Iqabane lakho mhlawumbi aliqondi ukuba kukho ingxaki kwaye likuthemba ngokupheleleyo. Zibuze ukuba ungaziva njani xa ufumanisa ukuba uyakuqhatha. Nangona kunjalo, kubudlelwane bexesha elide kunye nomtshato, ibali lihluke kakhulu. Uthando kunye nokuzinikela kuyabophelela ngakumbi; ubudlelwane buneemvakalelo ngakumbi kuba, ngokwemvelo, Njengezibini, ekuhambeni kwexesha baye bahlakulela ukuthembana nokunxibelelana.
Kodwa ukuba ixesha kunye namandla achithwa ngaphandle kobudlelwane nomnye umntu, oku kunokuqwalaselwa kuphela ukukhohlisa okucacileyo kunye nokuxoka. Ukungathembeki kuyingozi ngokungathandabuzekiyo njengoko kubangela intlungu nosizi. Konke ukuqonda ukuba wena kunye iqabane lakho liye laqokelela kule minyaka ayinantsingiselo, akukho ukunyaniseka kubudlelwane.
Kuya kuthatha umsebenzi omninzi kunye nesibindi ukubuyisela ukunyaniseka kobudlelwane xa sele buhambile. Ingxaki yokuxoka kubudlelwane kukuba kuthwala umthwalo wetyala; Kukuthintela ekubeni uzive ulungile ngawe. Ukuba umthanda ngokwenene umntu, kufuneka uvule kwaye unyaniseke kuye, ezi zizinto ezibalulekileyo zokunyaniseka kubudlelwane. Nabuphi na ubudlelwane obunentsingiselo kufuneka busekelwe ekuthembekeni.
Kwakhona cinga ngendlela ekuya kuba buhlungu kwaye kunxunguphalise ngayo ukufumanisa ukuba iqabane lakho likuxokise. Xa ukungathembani kuzinzile kulwalamano, unxibelelwano luyaphela.
Imbi ingqondo yakho
Uphononongo lwakutsha nje, olokuqala lolo hlobo lupapashwe yiNature Neuroscience lubonise iindaba ezinxunguphalisayo. Ubonise ukuba ukuthetha ubuxoki obuncinci obungaguqukiyo buyenza bube buthathaka ingqondo kwaye bukhuthaze ubuxoki obukhulu kwixesha elizayo. Olu phononongo lwenzeka kwiYunivesithi yaseLondon yoMvavanyo yePsychology ngo-2016 yabonisa ukuba xa ingqondo iyancipha, Ukuxoka kuba lula kwaye ukuthetha ubuxoki obukhulu kuba lula.
Ngokutsho kweNzululwazi yeNzululwazi, nje ukuba uqalise ukuxoka, inkqubo ye-nervous iqala ukwakha iihomoni zoxinzelelo ezibizwa ngokuba yi-cortisol. Amanqanaba aphezulu e-cortisol ngexesha elide abangela uxinzelelo kwaye anokubeka inqanaba leengxaki ezinzulu zempilo yengqondo, ezifana nokudakumba kunye nesifo se-Alzheimer. Kungcono ukuyeka ukuthetha ubuxoki kwaye endaweni yoko ujolise ekugxininiseni yonke into eyakhayo kubudlelwane obuphilileyo.