"Uma singeneme, kungani sisese ndawonye?" Mhlawumbe kwesinye isikhathi uke wazibona ukule nkinga efanayo, ukulesi simo esifanayo lapho imizwa eminingi ixubene. Imizwa eminingi ephikisanayo. Mhlawumbe kuyisiko, noma kungenzeka ukuthi sisathandana naphezu kwakho konke. Noma singesaba ngisho nokuqeda isibopho sethu bese simane sibe sodwa.
Izizathu zokuthi kungani umbhangqwana ungajabuli ziningi, kepha izincazelo zokuthi kungani bengabuqedi lobo budlelwano ngenxa yokuhlupheka kwesinye isikhathi ziyinkimbinkimbi ngokwengeziwe. Singakhuluma ngokwesaba, kwecala, ngelinye lamalungu okungenzeka ukuthi lisebenzisa i indima yokubusa okwenza ukuhlukana kungenzeki. Ake sikhulume ngalesi sihloko esithandekayo namuhla, ngethemba lokukusiza uma kwenzeka uzibona uhlangabezana nale nkinga.
Izizathu zokuthi kungani umbhangqwana ongajabule ugcina ubuhlobo bawo
Kungaba nzima ukukholelwa, kepha ngokwemibiko eminingi yezibalo kuningi imibhangqwana engajabule abenqaba ukuqeda ubudlelwano babo. Ngaphandle kokungahambisani nokuhlupheka okubonakalayo kubo bobabili, cishe ama-20% ale mibhangqwana ikhetha ukugcina lokhu kuzinza.
Kufanele sikhumbule ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi, indima ye "Unkosikazi uncike kumyeni" iyaqhubeka nokuthwala isisindo esiningi kulawa macala. Sikhuluma ngaphezu kwazo zonke izizukulwane ezindala, zezinye izingqondo zakudala lapho kungelula khona ukuqala "ekuqaleni", lapho impilo yonke isichithwe nomuntu, futhi ikakhulukazi, kuye ngaye.
Endabeni yezizukulwane ezisencane, le nto iyenzeka. Yize kungenzeka ukuthi esikhathini eside ukwahlukana kugcine ukwenzeka, kulawa macala kungenzeka kakhulu. Noma kunjalo, kufanele ukuqonda ukuthi yini eyenza leli banga, leli khefu, lingenzeki ngaphambili ukuze kuzuze amalungu womabili. Ake sikubone:
1. Ukwesaba nokuzizwa unecala
Omunye walaba ababili angahle anganquma ukuthatha lesi sinyathelo ngenxa yokwesaba. Ngokwesaba ukulimaza omunye umuntu yize azi ukuthi akasamthandi umlingani wakhe. Lo muzwa kwesinye isikhathi uguqulwa ube umuzwa wecala, ube isihawu esingaqondakali sayo yonke into ephilayo, konke okunikelwe nokwamukelwa. Siyazi ukuthi lokhu kwehlukana kuzobangela ubuhlungu obukhulu komunye umuntu futhi, asimane nje sibe nesibindi sokwenza noma sikuhlehlise.
2. Isizungu esesabekayo
Futhi ngizokwenzenjani uma ngisele ngedwa? Kwesinye isikhathi impilo ngaphandle komuntu eceleni kwethu ayisibangeli ukwesaba kuphela, kepha futhi ukungavikeleki. Kungenzeka ukuthi lobu budlelwano buhlale isikhathi eside, kanti omunye wethu akajwayeli umqondo wokuthi kufanele aguquke, wokuthi abhekane nokuphila okusha ngaphandle kothile onathi. Ngakho-ke ukuhlupheka kwamanje kungaba ngcono kakhulu kunesizungu sakusasa.
3.Imidlalo yamandla eyinkimbinkimbi
Isici esihle kakhulu se- ubudlelwano obunobuthi lapho kukhona umuntu ohambisayo nomuntu oncikile. Kulolu hlobo lobudlelwano, elinye lamalungu amabili alinawo amandla okwenza izinqumo futhi liphila ngokuya ngentando yalabo abashadile. Ngaphandle kokuhlupheka, ukukhungatheka nokungajabuli, kufanele akubekezelele konke lokhu ngokwesaba. Ngenxa yokwesaba ukuthi omunye umuntu uzosabela kanjani uma sibatshela ukuthi sifuna ukuyeka. Ukuhanjiswa kufinyelela kwizilinganiso ezingacabangi. Ziyizimo ezinzima futhi eziyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu.
4. Imibhangqwana "enezinye izivumelwano"
Kwenzeka kaningi. Bobudlelwano obedlula ukuzibophezela okulula phakathi kwabantu ababili. «Ngiyazi ukuthi izinto azihambi kahle, njengoba uzakwethu engikhohlisa nomunye umuntu. Kodwa-ke, ngiyakuthatha, bese ngibheka omunye umthandi engizonxephezela ngalokhu kukhashelwa. Basungula uhlobo lwe "Izivumelwano ezingacacile" ukuthi ngezikhathi ezithile, zivame ukwamukelwa nokuthi zifezekise ukuthi ubuhlobo obubonakala bungebuhle buqhubeka nokugcinwa.
Eminye imibhangqwana, ngokwesibonelo, iyaqhubeka nobudlelwano bayo ngoba kunenzuzo yezomnotho okungekho noyedwa kubo ofuna ukuyilahla, noma kungenzeka kube yizingane ngokwazo ezibavimbela ekutholeni ukwahlukana okucacile. Futhi yizimo eziyinkimbinkimbi eziqondwa kuphela ngamalungu ombhangqwana.
5. Amathemba nesikhathi
Siyazi, namuhla asijabule, kepha kuthiwani uma silinda isikhashana ukubona ukuthi izinto ziqhubeka kanjani? Mhlawumbe ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, isimo sizothuthuka, sizokhula futhi sikwazi ukufunda emaphutheni amanje. Akungabazeki ukuthi lesi yisizathu esivame kakhulu lapho kunwetshwa ubudlelwano obungasebenzi.
Iqiniso liwukuthi akuvamile ukuthi le fomula isebenze. Ubunzima nokwehluka imvamisa kuba kukhudlwana ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, futhi esikutholayo ukukhulisa inani lokuhlupheka ngisho nentukuthelo lapho sibona ukuthi, empeleni, izinto azikathuthuki.
Kwesinye isikhathi, sobabili siyazi ukuthi ukunweba ubudlelwano obungenakwenzeka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi akuwona umqondo omuhle kakhulu. Lokhu kudinga ukuba nesibindi sokuphula leso sibopho, okuthile okubuhlungu, kwesinye isikhathi okubuhlungu, kepha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ngokungangabazeki kuzoba yinto enempilo kunazo zonke ongayenza. Ukuzondla ngokuhlupheka kulimaza ukuzethemba kwethu, ubuqotho bethu nokuhlala esimweni esingesihle esizosilethela intukuthelo nokukhungatheka kuphela. Akufanele. Uma ungajabule, futhi akukho themba, alinge "ukudedela", ukuqhubekela phambili ekubeni wedwa ucabanga izindlela ezintsha.