Yini eyenza sikhethe okuthile uhlobo lwezithandani futhi akekho omunye? Kwesinye isikhathi ubudlelwano bethu obuningi abuhlali bufaneleka kakhulu noma buyimpumelelo. Yingakho sihlala sigcina ngokuzibuza ukuthi kungani kuye kwadingeka sithandane ngqo nomuntu ongafaneleki kangako. Ngabe ubuntu bethu buhlobene nakho na? Ababhali abanjengesazi sezinto eziphilayo esidumile kanye nesazi semvelaphi yabantu UHelen Fisher Basitshela ukuthi kusobala kunjalo. Sonke sinezimpawu zobuntu ezisenza sihambisane kakhulu namaphrofayili athile, azonquma ukuzinza nenjabulo yalabo abashadile.
Noma kunjalo. Sonke sinokuhlangenwe nakho kwethu futhi lokho kudlula okunomthelela lapho sifinyelela khona iziphetho zethu. Siyakwazi okuhle kithi nokungasifanele. Kepha noma kunjalo kunokuthile okusobala: ukukhanga kuvela ngaphandle kokuthi sikwazi ukukugwema, futhi kujwayelekile ukuqala ubudlelwano nabantu esizizwa sikhangwa kakhulu yibo, size sazi ukuthi ekuboneni kokuqala, asihambisani kakhulu. Uthando lunokubuyela emuva okungafinyelelwa yisayensi, lapho kudinga ukulinganiswa kwethu, ukuvuthwa kwethu ukwazi ukuthi singanquma kanjani, sikhethe noma sibeke ibanga uma isikhathi sifika. Omuhle ukuzihlonipha futhi wazi ukuphatha kahle imizwa yethu kuyinto ebalulekile ongafanele uyikhohlwe. Kepha noma kunjalo, imibono efana naleyo uHelen Fisher abizelwe kuyo kufanelekile ukuyazi. Ngakho-ke thola ukuthi yiluphi uhlobo lwephrofayili yobuntu olufanele kakhulu.
Ubuntu obuhambisana kakhulu ngokuya ngohlobo lomuntu
1. Abahloli abanabahloli
Bunjani ubuntu "bomhloli wamazwe" ngokusho kombono wesazi semvelo noHelen Fisher? Yebo, iphrofayli yokuhlola ibizoba ne- izici ezilandelayo:
- Sesha imizwa.
- Bangabantu abazethembayo abathanda ukuba nomqondo wokulawula izinto.
- Abafuni ikakhulukazi ukuzinza embhangqwaneni.
- Yimaphrofayili azenzekelayo akhipha amandla.
- Bathanda ukuzwa izinto ezintsha, bazifaka engcupheni, babe yisikhungo sokunakwa.
- Njengombhangqwana, bangaba nentshisekelo enkulu, kepha njengoba sisho, bafuna ukuzinza kithina.
- Banelukuluku, banobuciko, futhi banethemba elikhulu.
Njengoba ungaqagela, lezi zinhlobo zobuntu zingangena kuphela kubantu abafana nabo uqobo. Uma singenazo izintshisekelo ezifanayo, singahlupheka kakhulu noma sithathe ukudumazeka. Uma, ngokwesibonelo, ungumuntu ofuna ukuqala iphrojekthi ejwayelekile yomndeni, akulungile ukuthi ube "nomhloli wamazwe" njengomlingani wakho.
2. Abakhi abaneBakhi
Igama elilula kungenzeka ukuthi selivele likunikeze umkhondo wokuthi ubuntu bungaba njani "Umakhi". Nazi izici eziyinhloko:
- Amaphrofayli aqhubekayo, afuna umgomo futhi alwele ukuwufinyelela.
- Bangabantu abathembekile kakhulu, abathembekile futhi abanokuthula.
- Bangabathandi bamasiko nakho konke okubanikeza ukuphepha.
- Abathandi ukuzibeka engcupheni, bahlala belandela imithetho ebekiwe futhi sithanda ushintsho noma ukuphuma enkambisweni yabo.
- Bangabathandi bemindeni yabo futhi bangabavikeli abathembekile bala magugu.
Siphinde futhi sabona ukuthi ngokombono kaFisher, kuyadingeka ukuthi abantu ababili babe nezici zobuntu ezifanayo ukuqala a ubuhlobo obuzinzile. Kulokhu sibona izithandani zakudala ezifuna ngaphezu kwakho konke ukwakha umndeni. Yiba nokusimama futhi uqale impilo ndawonye inhloso yakho leyo kuyimpilo yansuku zonke emnandi lapho kungekho zinguquko. Lapho inani le- umndeni yiba i-eksisi eyisisekelo. Uma ngalesi sikhathi, ngokwesibonelo, ungenaso isiqiniseko sokuthi ufuna ukuzinza yini empilweni yakho noma unezingane, kungenzeka ukuthi unokungaboni ngaso linye nalowo muntu onobuntu "bomakhi".
2. Ubuntu bokuphatha nobuntu bokuxoxisana
Ekugcineni siyayibona inhlanganisela ye- ubuntu obubili obuhlukile. Futhi ngokuqinisekile uzomangala ngale nhlanganisela yezinhlamvu kwesinye isikhathi evame kakhulu kwizithandani:
Ubuntu bokuphatha:
- Laba ngabantu abahlaziya kakhulu abavame ukubona ubuqiniso babo ngombono osebenzayo.
- Ziqondiswa kakhulu, ziyazethemba futhi ziphezulu ngandlela thile.
- Bayilawula kahle imizwa yabo.
- Bahlale besika bajahe, benze futhi basho izinto ngokungagwegwesi.
- Bangabantu abaphelele kakhulu.
Ukuxoxisana ngobuntu:
- Abantu abangokomzwelo nabazwelayo.
- Bafuna ukwesekwa, ukuqashelwa nokunakekelwa.
- Bangabantu abanembile futhi abanokuqonda.
- Bayakwazi ukufunda phakathi kwemigqa futhi babamba abanye kahle kakhulu.
- Ziyaphupha futhi ziyacabanga.
Ukubona lezi zici usungacacisa ukuthi kungani ubuntu Izinkomba bakha amabhangqa amahle nge Abaxhumanisi. Bayaphelelisana, bayafanelana ngendlela ebonakala idala ukuzwana okuhle phakathi kwabo. I-Logic Ukuqhathanisa nokuqonda, ukuzwela uma kuqhathaniswa nokunemba. Kungafinyelela ekusekeleni lokho okuphikisana nakho okuhehayo.
Le mbono yobuntu othandweni ichazwe kabanzi encwadini ka UHelen Fisher onesihloko esithi “Kungani yena? Kungani yena? " (Kungani yena? Kungani kuye?). Umbhali wenze izifundo nezingxoxo eziningi ukuthola lezi zici ezine ezithokozisayo, lapho kungahlanganisa khona izici eziyinhloko zobuntu zale mibhangqwana ezinzile. Singavumelana ngokuncane noma okuncane, ungahle ungazazi kunoma iyiphi yazo, kepha nganoma iyiphi indlela, kusebenza ukusenza sicabange. Kuyacaca kithi, isibonelo, ukuthi kuyadingeka ukuthi abantu ababili babe nezintshisakalo ezifanayo ukufeza ukuzinza nenjabulo. Futhi, leyo nhlonipho, ukuqonda futhi iphrojekthi yesikhathi esizayo iphakamisa leyo nsika eyisisekelo yokweseka ubudlelwano bethu. Ngakho-ke le mibono ngaso sonke isikhathi kufanele ikhunjulwe, okungenani ukusenza sicabange futhi siziqonde kangcono.