Philphobia, lapho sesaba uthando

I-Philosophobia noma ukwesaba ukuthandana, akuyona inkinga noma inkinga yokwelashwa edinga ukwelashwa. Ezimweni eziningi sikhuluma ngokuxineka okulula, isimo sokukhathazeka okuphansi lapho umuntu egwema okokuqala ukubandakanyeka ngokomzwelo nothile.

¿La razón? La verdad es que la filofobia esconde un claro miedo al compromiso, el evitar involucrarnos en una relación donde asumimos «que vamos a sufrir», que vamos a perder nuestra independencia y nuestro equilibrio para someternos a unos altibajos emocionales en los cuales, seguramente, acabaremos perdiendo ukulawula. Puede que te sorprenda, pero a día de hoy son muchas las personas que presentan estas características, tanto hombres como mujeres. De ahí que queramos hablar de la filofobia en Bezzia para aportarte más información sobre ello.

1. Yiziphi izici ze-philophobia?

I-Philophobia ngokwesiko ihlotshaniswa nesimo somuntu. Iqiniso lokufuna ukugwema ukuzibandakanya ebudlelwaneni obunamandla obuthintekayo, lapho kudingeka khona ukuzibophezela nokuqhubeka, kuyinto okuhlale kucatshangwa ukuthi yilawa madoda anokujwayelekile peter pan syndrome.

Akukho okungaba kude neqiniso, ngoba singasho ngaphandle kwephutha ukuthi lokhu kungavikeleki, lesi simo sengqondo sinqena ukuzibandakanya ebudlelwaneni obuthinta "obubi", futhi sithinta nabesifazane abaningi. Kodwa-ke, ake manje sibone izici zokuziqonda kangcono:

• Umuntu one-philophobia akanankinga yokuhlangabezana nemizwa. Besingeke sikhulume ngokwesibonelo se- "I-Alexithymia", lokho kuphazamiseka kwahlupheka, ngokwesibonelo, yi-protagonist yochungechunge oluthi "Dexter" futhi ngokuvamile ebonakala ngenkinga yezinzwa eyenza kube nzima ukuthi abantu bahumushe futhi bakhulume ngemizwa yabo. Ifilosofi uyazi ukuthi luyini uthando, uyaluzwa futhi uyalubona kwabanye, kepha ukhetha ukulugwema.

• Ukuthandana, kungenxa yokuthi ifilosofi yehlulwe ukulawulwa ngaye, futhi leyo yinto ayesabayo nokuthi ezimweni eziningi, imbangela ukukhathazeka. Ngaphezu kwalokho, wesaba nokuba sengozini, azizwe ebuthakathaka ezimweni ezithile futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke, ukuthembela komunye umuntu. Uqonda uthando cishe "njengehange", njengokulahlekelwa yinkululeko nokuzazi komuntu. Manje, kufanele sikhulume siphendule lawo macala lapho abantu abaningi behlelwe ukuphoxeka kothando futhi lokhu kubenza bagweme ukuthandana futhi ngazo zonke izindlela ukuze bagweme ukuhlupheka okusha.

• Kufanele futhi kukhunjulwe ukuthi amafilosofi angabugcina ubudlelwano njengezithandani. Kodwa-ke, bazokhetha abalingani abangazizwa lutho ngabo, abantu abangabanakekeli izibopho ezingokomzwelo ngakho-ke, azisoze zabalimaza. Bangasungula ubudlelwano obuningi, kepha konke akunalutho, okwesikhashana nokuzinikela okuncane. Konke lokhu kubavumela ukuba "babe nomuzwa wokulawula", bazizwe bekhululekile, bagweme ukuzizwa bebodwa futhi bangazizwa behlupheka ngokweqile lapho ubudlelwane buphela.

• Kukhona amafilosofi angathuthukisa i- ukukhathazeka kubucayi kakhulu uma, ngokwesibonelo, beba nengcindezi yangempela futhi besaba umzuzu lapho bebona ukuthi bangathandana nothile. Iningi lamanje liziphatha ngendlela yokugwema, lize lifuduke liyoshintsha indawo elihlala kuyo noma lisebenze nje ukugwema "lowo muntu" abangathandana naye. Isikhathi lapho sibona ukuthi le nkinga ithinta impilo yethu yansuku zonke, ngabe sesivele sikhuluma ngesifo, isimilo esizodinga uhlobo oluthile lokungenelela. Kodwa-ke, akuvamile ukuthi uye kulezi zindlela ezeqisayo.

Uthando ngaphandle kokwesaba, uthando ngokuvuthwa

Konke ukwesaba kuyisithiyo, umnyango esiwuvalayo nodonga oluzosivimbela ekujabuleni. I-Philphobia ayiyona nje into yokuvuthwa okuzofanele sibhekane nayo. Futhi umphumela uwufanele.

Njengoba sishilo phambilini, singasho ngokuphepha ukuthi abantu abaningi bahlushwa yi-philophobia, nokuthi inkinga ethinta abesilisa nabesifazane. Ngakho-ke kufanele sikunake lokhu okuthakazelisayo izici.

1. Uma ukwesaba kwakho kungukuthi ulahlekelwe amandla akho okulawula Futhi ukucabanga ukuthi uzoyeka ukuba wedwa ngokuzivulela omunye umuntu ngokomzwelo, cabanga ukuthi esikhathini esizayo ukuphela kwento ozoyithuthukisa empilweni yakho ubuze nokukhungatheka. Uzozisola ngokungazange "uzwe" umuzwa wokuzivulela kothile futhi uzizwe uthandwa ngokweqiniso futhi ngenhliziyo yonke. Uthando olunempilo yilolo olukucebisa futhi lukwenze umuntu ongcono. Ungacabangi ngobudlelwano njengezindonga ezinqamula ukukhula kwakho noma inkululeko yakho. Ubudlelwano obugcwele futhi obujabulisayo obunobuhlobo busenza sikhule futhi busicebise.

2. Ungahlanganisi uthando nokuhlupheka. Uma esikhathini esedlule uke waphila ubudlelwano obukuzwise ubuhlungu, futhi namhlanje usuthuthukise i-philophobia ngenxa yesidingo sokuzivikela, qonda ukuthi amaphutha esikhathi esidlule awadingi ukuphindwa. Bhekani okwenzekile nge ukuqina uyakuqonda ukuthi abantu bayakwazi ukubhekana nobunzima futhi bafunde kubo. Uyazi ukuthi yini ongazifuneli yona, usuvele uyakwazi okukulimazayo, ngakho-ke yiza ebudlelwaneni obusha ngokuphepha okwengeziwe ukwazi kahle ukuthi ufunani, nokuthi yini oyidingayo.

Uthando yinto ezohlala icebisa impilo yakho, ezokwenza ube ngumuntu ongcono futhi yona, ekunikeze iphrojekthi yempilo. Ukwenqaba "ukuzwa" ukwenqaba ukuphila. Musa ukusika izimpiko zenjabulo kuwe.