Lapho ungakulindeli nje, futhi ngokushesha ucabanga ukuthi yiniImpilo yakho ihlelekile nokuthi unakho konke okufunayo, kuvela omunye umuntu. Yinto engahlelwanga, futhi okungekho noyedwa ofunayo lapho manje ehlala ebudlelwaneni obuzinzile futhi obujabulisayo.
Kodwa-ke, impilo, nemidlalo yayo engajwayelekile yokudalelwa nokuqondana kwezinto, ibeka phambi kwethu izimo ezithile ezithi basiphoqa ukuba sicabange kabusha ngezinto eziningi. Ukholwa noma ungakholwa, lezi zenzakalo zivame kakhulu, futhi njengoba siqinisekile ukuthi kuye kwenzeka kuwe ngesinye isikhathi, namuhla ngo Bezzia Sikuchazela ukuthi iyiphi indlela efanele yokusabela.
Lapho kuvela omunye umuntu empilweni yethu ... futhi sibathathu
Uma singenaye umlingani, into ilula: yiba nesibindi bese uzibeka engcupheni. Manje, lapho sesinayo leyo ngxenye engcono nokuzinza empilweni yethu, inkinga iba nzima. Asisekho ababili, asisekho wena nami, ngoba engqondweni yethu, Kuqhamuka omunye umuntu okuthi ngaphandle kokuyifuna noma ayifune, wephula lelo bhalansi.
Akukona ukubheka ukusola, futhi akufanele sizibone "njengabantu ababi" ngoba sizizwa sikhanga noma intshisekelo kumuntu ongeyena uzakwethu. Kungokwemvelo, imizwa ayinakulawulwa, njengokuheha komzimba kanye nalowo muzwa wokuthi kungazelelwe, kube umuntu kuvusa imizwa nemicabango ebesingayilindele kithi.
Uthando alwazi mithetho, futhi akekho noyedwa obeka "ibhawodi" enhliziyweni yakhe lapho ezibophezela kumuntu. Akunandaba ukuthi sizama kanzima kangakanani, lezi zinhlobo zezimo zivamile. Manje, njengokujwayelekile njengoba zinjalo, akusho ukuthi kufanele sidele konke. Kuyadingeka ukuthi wenze ngokuthula, ulinganisele futhi uhlale unakekela ukuzethemba kwethu, ubuqotho bethu.
Yini esenza sikhangwe omunye umuntu?
Siyazi ukuthi ayifanele, futhi kubantu abaningi, ayinangqondo futhi. Noma kunjalo kwenzeka ngokwemvelo ephelele, ngakho-ke, kufanele kuqashelwe: ukuba nguzakwethu akusivimbi ukuba sizizwe sikhangwa omunye umuntu futhi.
Manje ... kungani kwenzeka?
- Uzomangala ukwazi ukuthi ngokocwaningo olwenziwe amanyuvesi aseColumbia, eIndiana, eKentucky naseLexington, ngaphezu kuka-70% wabantu abaneminyaka ephakathi kwengu-19 nengama-56 asebeke babhekana nakho lo muzwa ngesinye isikhathi empilweni yakho.
- Iningi labantu lihlangabezana nalesi simo ngemuva kweminyaka yokugcina ubuhlobo obuzinzile. Lokho wukuthi, kusukela eminyakeni engu-3, futhi ngokwalolu cwaningo, kungenzeka ukuthi siqaphele ngokuzumayo omunye umuntu. Ezinye izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zikhuluma "ngobusha," bokuzwa imizwa emisha, kwalokhu okuheha izikhuthazi ezingalindelekile.
- Futhi asikwazi ukukuziba lokho kwesinye isikhathi, nangemva kokugcina ubudlelwane obude noma ukuhlala obunye ubudlelwano, siyavuthwa. Futhi ngaphezu kwalokho, sicace kakhudlwana ngalokho esikudinga ngempela noma uhlobo lomuntu olusisiza kakhulu.
Akumele sididanise ubungani nothando
Kwesinye isikhathi lowo omunye umuntu ubonakala egcwalisa izikhala zethu eziningi. Kuyasimangaza, kusinikeza inkampani futhi kubonakala sengathi kuthinta ngokungazelelwe iningi lalawo mafayibha angajwayelekile umlingani wethu angawaboni.
Manje ... kepha uthando ngempela? Ubudlelwano babantu buyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu, kuze kube seqophelweni lokuthi singawudida lowo muzwa wokweneliseka, ukuphepha nokusebenzisana nothando. Lapho empeleni, akunjalo.
Sicabanga ukuthi lo muntu yilokho kanye esikudingayo, ukuthi usungula ukuxhumana okusondele kakhulu nobuntu bethu, namagugu nezinkolelo zethu ... Kepha empeleni, uthando alusekelwe kokuqondane, kepha futhi nokwehluka kothando, ekuthandeni, kulokho kukhathazeka okusenza sizibuze ukuthi kungani, ukwehluka kwesinye isikhathi, sidingana kakhulu.
Kuyadingeka ukuthi wenze ngokuthula ungasheshi. Lapho kuvela omunye umuntu, izinhlaka zethu eziningi zangaphakathi zibonakala ziphuka ngokuzumayo, kodwa ukugijimela akusizi ngalutho futhi abasibo abeluleki abahle. Qaphela lokho okungafaneleka kakhulu ukwenziwa.
Yini okufanele siyenze lapho kuvela omunye umuntu?
Yini engiwile?
Kubukeka njengombuzo olula ukuwuphendula, kepha empeleni akunjalo. Uthando nobungane kwesinye isikhathi ludlala emikhakheni efanayo, futhi yizinhliziyo zethu okufanele zahlulele ukuthi ziyizwa kanjani ngempela.
Kwesinye isikhathi, ngenxa yenkambiso esiwele kuyo nozakwethu, lowo mzuzu lapho kuvela umuntu omusha ungasikhanyisela futhi wenze namaphutha. Kusiletha ukuheha kokusha, kokungaziwa, futhi lokho kuyakhuthaza njalo.
Kodwa-ke, kujwayelekile ukuthi eziningi zalezi zimo zinyamalale ngokushesha okukhulu ngesikhathi, yingakho kumele senze ngokuqonda, futhi sicabange ngalokho esizizwa ngakho ngempela.
Ungasheshi, zinike isikhathi sakho ucabange ngaphandle kobudedengu
Cabanga ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi, singawela umngcele bese sengozini yokuba nobudlelwano obufanayo. Ukukopela kumlingani wethu futhi ngokushesha, ngibona ukuthi bekungafanele, ukuthi kube yiphutha.
- Akufanele ukubeka izingozi ngaphambi kokuthi uqiniseke. Kuyacaca ukuthi akukho lutho kulokhu kuphila okuqinisekile, ukuthi sonke singawenza amaphutha, kepha okungenani, thatha isikhathi sakho ukubonakalisa ngomoya ophansi futhi uthathe isinqumo.
- Kunezikhathi lapho yonke ingozi ikufanele, futhi leyo nto kuzodingeka uzinqumele yona.
- Into ebaluleke kakhulu kukho konke lokhu ukungalimazi abanye abantu. Musa ukudala okungenani ubuhlungu obungadingekile njengokukhohlisa ngasese noma ukuqamba amanga. Uma uzothatha isinyathelo sokuzibeka engcupheni ngaloyo muntu, umlingani wakho ufanelwe ukwazi ukuthi uzizwa kanjani, nokuthi uthathe siphi isinqumo.
Akekho ongakulawula lokho ngokuzumayo, kuvela omunye umuntu empilweni yethu. Okwenzekayo ngokulandelayo kuzoba yisinqumo sami, kodwa-ke, ukwenza isinqumo sibe esifanele kakhulu, ngaphandle kokukhohlwa ukuzethemba kwakho, ubuqotho bakho nenjabulo yakho.
Ngibe nomlingani wami iminyaka engu-4; uneminyaka engama-22 mina ngineminyaka engama-30. Iqiniso ukuthi ezinyangeni eziyisi-6 ezedlule ngahlangana nowesifazane oneminyaka engama-40 ubudala ozimisele ukubhekana nobudlelwano obusemthethweni futhi aze anginike nengane yize enezinsuku ezi-2. Kuyamangalisa ukuthi sizwana kanjani futhi siyaqondana , ungummeli ngokomsebenzi, ngingaxoxa nganoma yisiphi isihloko asithandayo, unesiko elikhulu futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke, sithandana ngokuphelele. Ngisempambanweni yendlela, ngoba ngatshela intombi yami ngalesi simo futhi yavuma ukungilahla ngemuva kwezinsuku ezimbalwa zobuhlungu nokukhala, futhi inikeze ushintsho empilweni yayo ngemuva kwaleyo ngxoxo engididile ngoba yenza konke ukugcina ubuhlobo. Wenza izinto ayengakaze azenze empilweni yakhe, izinto yena ngokwakhe athi wayengeke angenzele zona. UKWESABA kwami ngukuthi ushintsho oluzumayo ngoba nginezinto ezifanayo kowesifazane omusha engihlangane naye futhi okubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi angikaze ngithandane nentombi yami isikhathi eside, ngenza izinto ngenjwayelo nokuzibophezela.
Nginesiqiniseko sokuthi intombi yami iyangithanda, kepha ngobudlelwano obusha ngiphile izinyanga ezimbili ezinhle kakhulu zothando ngempilo yami, ubulili, ubudlelwano, ukuqonda, kanye nemizwa yothando ebengingakaze ngiyizwe komunye umuntu, hhayi intombi yami lapho siqala ubudlelwano.
Iminyaka eyi-13 ngithandana nendodakazi eneminyaka eyi-6, eminyakeni eyi-7 eyedlule ngabona owesifazane emsebenzini engikhubaza futhi angikwazi ukukhuluma naye, ngokwengxenye kungenxa yokungafuni ukukopela nokulimaza umkami futhi ngoba am terrible for lifting, Today I crossed him in passing, Ngambheka emehlweni futhi ngathi nje sawubona, wangibuka, wamomotheka wabeka izinwele zakhe ngemuva kwendlebe yakhe, isiwula sami sicishe saqhuma (inhliziyo) futhi sangigcwalisa ngokukhathazeka ,
Ngizizwa nginjenge-shit, into engenzeka kakhulu ukuthi ngihlala nomndeni wami futhi ngiyaqhubeka nokuzizwa ngaleyo ndlela (njenge-shit) nokuthi nginenhliziyo enhle kuphela futhi ngenza indaba ekhanda lami, kodwa ngizizwa ngihlukile lokho impilo ehlekisayo. Mayelana !!