Ukulawula ngokweqile umbhangqwana kuyinto eyenza ubudlelwano bube nobuthi, okuholela ekuwohlokeni okukhulu kwawo. Naphezu kwalokhu, kunabantu abaningi namuhla abalawula umbhangqwana ukukhathala. Ukulawula akuzalwa ngenjongo yokulimaza othandekayo kodwa kungenxa yokungazethembi komuntu olawulayo ehluphekayo.
Ukuze ugweme ukulawula okunjalo, kubalulekile ukuthola izizathu zesimo sengqondo esinjalo futhi baphathe ngempumelelo nangendlela efanele. Esihlokweni esilandelayo sizokhuluma ngezimbangela noma izizathu zokuthi kungani lesi sidingo sokulawula umlingani senzeka nokuthi yini okufanele yenziwe ukulungisa isimo esinjalo.
Isidingo sokulawula uzakwethu
Kunezizathu ezimbalwa noma izizathu ezingaholela ekutheni umuntu alawule umlingani wakhe:
- Isizathu esiyinhloko sokulawula okunjalo kungenxa yenkinga enkulu yokungazethembi nokuzethemba. Ukulawula abantu kubuthakathaka impela uma kuziwa ekuzethembeni kwabo futhi abanakho ukuzethemba okukhulu. Lokhu kungazethembi kuhumusha amandla okulawula phezu kombhangqwana odala umonakalo omkhulu ebuhlotsheni.
- Kungenzeka ukuthi isidingo sokulawula umlingani kungenxa yokungathembani okuthile komlingani. Kuyinto evamile ukuthi ngenxa yesiqephu esisodwa noma ngaphezulu sokungathembeki, omunye wabathintekayo ebudlelwaneni unesidingo sokulawula umlingani wakhe.
- Umuntu osebenzisa ukulawula okunjalo kumlingani angase acabange ukuthi ukuziphatha okunjalo kokulawula kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokugwema izinkinga ezithile kanye thola ukuvikeleka okuthile ebuhlotsheni. Kodwa-ke, lolu hlobo lwemicabango elawulayo luzogcina ludicilele phansi ikusasa elihle lombhangqwana futhi lubeke engcupheni isibopho esidalwe phakathi kwabo bobabili abantu.
Ungakugwema kanjani ukulawula umbhangqwana
Ukulawula umbhangqwana kwenziwa ngezindlela nezindlela ezahlukene: ukwephula isikhala somuntu siqu nesisondelene somunye umuntu, ukuxhaphaza ezingeni lomzwelo noma ukuhlambalaza zonke izenzo zabo. Akekho umuntu okufanele abekezelele ukulawulwa ngokuqhubekayo umlingani wakhe futhi uma lokhu kwenzeka, kubalulekile ukufuna izixazululo eziqeda lokho kulawulwa. Esinye sezixazululo ukuya kuchwepheshe owazi kahle ukuthi ungayiqeda kanjani inkinga enjalo.
Enye yezindlela zokwelapha eziphumelela kakhulu uma kuziwa ekwelapheni ukulawula amandla phakathi kwabashadikazi iwukuziphatha kwengqondo.. Ngalokhu kwelashwa, umuntu olawulayo uyakwazi ukuphatha umhawu wakhe we-pathological kanye nokungamethembi umlingani wakhe.
Ngamafuphi, ukungazethembi, ukuzethemba okuphansi kanye nokungathembi umbhangqwana bazowohloka ngendlela eyingozi ubudlelwano obakhiwe phakathi kwabantu ababili. Uma isimo sengqondo sokulawula singasingathwanga, izinto zingaba zimbi kakhulu futhi zibeke ubudlelwano engozini. Njengoba kunikezwe lokhu, okuwukuphela kwento esele okufanele yenziwe ukuxazulula inkinga ngokuzibeka ezandleni zochwepheshe noma ukuqeda isibopho sothando phakathi kwabantu ababili.