Gcina eyodwa ubuhlobo obunempilo obuthintekayo futhi okuhlala njalo, kuyisifiso sonke esinaso. Siyaqiniseka ukuthi kuyo yonke impilo yakho uzoba nokuhlangenwe nakho okuningi okukukhombisile ukuthi ukuthola lowo muntu ofanele akulula neze. Ubuntu obuhlukile nezintshisekelo, izinkinga zokuxhumana, ukwethembana ... kunezinto eziningi ezinquma impumelelo yombhangqwana, futhi eziningi futhi izitayela ezithintekayo esingazithola. Kufanele ucabangele lokhu.
Kwesinye isikhathi singaba nokugcina uhlobo lobudlelwano obungasebenzi kahle obukwazi ukusibeka esichengeni semizwa esibaluleke kakhulu. Uthando olunobuthi lapho ngaphandle kokuthanda umuntu kakhulu, izindleko zingaba phezulu kakhulu. Futhi kujwayelekile ukucabanga ukuthi uthando seluvele lungenaphutha ngokwalo, insika esekela futhi ixazulule konke. Kepha akunjalo, khumbula lokho akuzona zonke iziphakamiso ezithintekayo ezilungele inhlalakahle yethu nenjabulo. Ngakho-ke, sikunikeza amathuluzi ayisisekelo ukuze wazi ukuthi ungababona kanjani labo bathandi, kalula nje, azilungele impilo yakho.
Izitayela ezithintekayo ezingayilungele impilo yethu engokomzwelo
Ababhali bathanda UWalter Riso, Ochwepheshe bezengqondo ezimbalwa, basitshele ukuthi lapho sigcina ubudlelwano babantu abashadile, kubalulekile ukuthi sicabangisise ngezici ezintathu eziyisisekelo:
- Uzakwethu ungithanda kanjani? - Iyiphi indlela yami yokumthanda?
- Ngijabule ngempela ngalo muntu? - Ingabe kungilethela injabulo yangempela?
- Singaba kude kangakanani ngaphandle kokulimazana?
La mazembe yiwona okufanele asinike umkhondo wokuthi ngabe ubudlelwane obuthintekayo esikugcinayo kuyingozi enkulu noma cha. Kunemibhangqwana eminingi okuthi, noma yazi ukuthi iletha ukuhlupheka okuningi kunenjabulo, iqhubeke nokunamathela komunye nomunye. Baqhubeka nokugcina ubumbano ngokuhamba kwesikhathi okuzogcina kudale umonakalo wangempela ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo.
Ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi ungawabona kanjani amaphethini we- uthando oluyingozi kakhulu. Ukuba nesethenjwa maqondana nohlobo lobuntu balaba bantu, lapho, sikwazi ukuhlola ukuthi sifuna ukuzibandakanya ngendlela esondelene kakhulu noma cha. Kuyacaca ukuthi hhayi ngaso sonke isikhathi "singakhetha ukuthi ngubani esithandana naye nokuthi ngubani esingathandani naye", kepha khumbula ukuthi ungawela kumdlalo oyingozi kakhulu ngalolu hlobo lwamaphrofayli acacile anobuthi. Manje ake sibheke ukuthi yini izitayela ezithintekayo ziyingozi kakhulu:
1. Isitayela Somlando / Seshashalazi: Uthando lokuhlukumeza
Kulula ukuzibona. Laba bantu bahlala bebhekile kube sobala kungaba nabalingani babo noma nabanye abantu ababazungezile. Bavame ukugxila kuzo zonke izidingo ngaphandle kokubheka lezo zomlingani wabo, ngaso sonke isikhathi bekhombisa isithombe ukuthi badinga okungaphezulu, ukuthi abaneliswa yilokho abanikezwa kona. Banamandla, bangabanikazi, futhi ngasikhathi sinye banikeza isithombe sokuhlukumezeka okuthile.
2.Isitayela seParanoid / Vigilant: Uthando olungathembeki
Kunjengokungathi bebehlala "nesitha." Abathembi nakancane lokho okushiwo kubo, noma lokho abakhonjiswa kona. Bazohlala bathola okuthile abazokuzwa ngakho lokho kusola kwaphakade. Bangabantu abathi abazi ukuthi baluletha kanjani uthando nokuthi, ngasikhathi sinye, abazi ukuthi bangayithola kanjani ngoba becabanga ukuthi bazokhashelwa noma ukuthi abathandwa ngokwanele. Zezothando ngezindleko eziphakeme ezingokomzwelo.
3. Isitayela Esenziwa / Esinolaka: Uthando lokuvukela umbuso
Bazalwa ngama-saboteurs. Konke okwenzela bona akusoze kwanele, ngoba empeleni bafuna ukuthandwa "ngendlela yabo." Lokhu kusho nokuthi badinga inkululeko ethile ukuze ungazizwa "uboshiwe", ubumbili obuyinkimbinkimbi obukwazi kuphela ukudicilela phansi lo mbhangqwana. Bafuna ukuthandwa ngenkathi benqaba leyo mibukiso yothando ohlangothini lwezithandani, ngoba bazizwa behlukunyezwa yilobu budlelwano.
4: Isitayela seNarcissistic / Egocentric: Uthando lobugovu
Impela uyasazi lesi sitayela esithandekayo. Bangabantu abajwayele ukwenza ubugovu, ukuziphakamisa, ukuzazisa nokuzicabangela bona .. Abalaleli noma bazi ukuthi babona kanjani izidingo zombhangqwanaBangama-narcissistic futhi abamukeli ukugxekwa. Futhi uthando olonakalisa kakhulu.
5: Isitayela Esibukelayo / Esiphoqayo: Uthando Lokuphelelisa
Akukho okwenzayo okuzokwanela yena. Kuyizitayela ezithintekayo ezingagculiseki neze, ezinombono wazo wezinto futhi ezilindele ukuthi yonke into izulazule endaweni yazo ephelele egcwele ukuphelela. Imizamo yakho yokumenelisa ayinalutho, ubudlelwano buzoqina ngokuqinile futhi bugcwale izindleko zomzwelo kuwe. Futhi bangabantu abathanda ukubukela phansi abanye, ukubukela phansi ... futhi lokhu kungaba yingozi kakhulu kubo ukuzazisa kwethu.
6. Isitayela seSchizoid / Hermit: Uthando oluhlukanisiwe noma olungenandaba.
Lesi sitayela esithintekayo sifuna ukuzihlukanisa nabanye abantu ngokusebenzisa ukuhlukaniswa ngokomzwelo. Bangobudlelwano obonakalisa kakhulu ngoba akukho ukushintshana, ukubuyisana kothando noma ukuboniswa kothando. Kuzohlala njalo kunelinye lamalungu alo mbhangqwana oyisisulu, lowo olwela ukunikela ngakho konke ngaphandle kokuthola lutho. Luthando olungondli, oluzithethelela ngesidingo sokuzimela nokuzimela, elungelweni lobumfihlo. Kepha empeleni, okwenziwa yilaba bantu ukwakha izindonga ezibavimbela ukuba bathandwe. Futhi yini okubi nakakhulu, okudala ukulimala nokugqoka okuhle kwengqondo. Kumele siqaphele.
Njengoba ukwazi ukubona, kunezinhlobo eziningi zamaphethini ezithinta ezingasenza singene ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi. Kepha akudingeki ukuthi ube yingcweti kwezokwelapha kwengqondo ukuze wazi ukuthi ungazinakekela kanjani. Ukuze sizibuze ngesikhathi esithile ukuthi ngabe sijabule ngempela ngobudlelwano esinabo. Impendulo ozinika yona kufanele ngabe isivele iyinkomba eyanele yokwenza isinqumo noma esinye. Ngoba khumbula: nnoma zonke iziphakamiso ezithintekayo zilungele inhlalakahle yethu.