Ungabhekana kanjani nokulahlekelwa kokukhulelwa?

La ukulahleka kokukhulelwa (noma nengane nayo) kuvame ukudala inkinga ebucayi kakhulu kulaba abashadile, kubenze babe sengozini yokuthuthuka kokuphazamiseka kwemizwelo, ukukhathazeka kanye / noma nokudangala. Usizi luyimpendulo ejwayelekile futhi enempilo kulokhu kulahlekelwa futhi lunganqotshwa ngokuxhaswa ngumlingani noma umndeni nosizo losizo lochwepheshe.

Ngalesi sikhathi ngeke sikhulume ngokulahleka kwengane, lapho yayisivele izelwe, kepha namhlanje sizogxila kwabashadikazi lapho kulahlekile ukukhulelwa.

Kuningi ukuthuthuka okwenziwe ezifundweni zabesifazane abakhulelwe futhi ngalezi zintuthuko kungenzeka ukuthi kwehliswe izinga lokukhulelwa eligcina ngokufa. Futhi ngalezi zintuthuko zenza ukuthi abazali bakwazi ukuxhumana ngokushesha nosana olungakazalwa. Ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa, bonke abazali bahlakulela okulindelwe okuningi, amaphupho, amaphupho nemicabango yokufika kwengane yabo. Ngale ndlela, abashadikazi abasosizini lokulahlekelwa ukukhulelwa abagcini nje ngokudabuka ngengane elahlekile, kepha futhi nengane engeke ibe khona.

Ukulahleka kokukhulelwa kunomthelela omkhulu ngokomzwelo kubazali futhi umzuzu wokuthola izindaba ezimbi ungadala inhlekelele yokukhathazeka noma usizi kwelinye noma kuwo womabili amalungu ombhangqwana, okukhombisa izimpawu zesikhashana ezinjengokushaya ngamandla, ukujuluka, ukuthuthumela, ukugodola , ukuzwa uphefumula kanzima noma ushaywa ngamanzi, ubuhlungu besifuba noma ukungaphatheki kahle, isicanucanu noma ubuhlungu besisu, ukuzwa isiyezi, ukungahlali, ikhanda elikhanyayo noma ukuquleka, imizwa yokungokoqobo noma ukuhlukaniswa nawe, ukwesaba ukwehluleka ukulawula noma ukusangana, ukwesaba ukufa. Lezi zimpawu ngokuvamile ziyanyamalala emizuzwini embalwa elandelayo bese zingena enqubeni yosizi.

Ngemuva kokulahlekelwa, kwenziwa uchungechunge lwezindlela ezakha inqubo yokulungisa usizi. Usizi luyindlela yokusabela engokwemvelo neyendawo yonke, kepha kuyinto ehlukile, ehlukile futhi umuntu ngamunye uzokuzwa futhi akubonakalise ngendlela ehlukile. Kungumuzwa womhlaba wonke ongagcini ngokuthinta kuphela izici zengqondo, kepha nezici ezingokomzwelo, zenhlalo, ezingokwengqondo, zomzimba nezingokomoya.

Isikhathi esijwayelekile sokulila sidinga izinyanga eziyisithupha kuya onyakeni. Yize usizi lungokuhlangenwe nakho komuntu ngamunye, luvame ukwenzeka ngezigaba ezahlukahlukene, noma kungebona bonke abantu ababhekana nabo ngendlela efanayo:

• Ukushaqeka noma ukungakholwa. Kubonakala nge-daze evikela umlingani emthelela wokulahleka. Kulesi sikhathi, esingahlala kusuka emahoreni kuya emasontweni amabili, ukuqhuma kwemizwa kuyenzeka, okwenza ukuxhumana kube nzima kakhulu. Abazali bangakwazi ukwenza izinqumo futhi badinga usizo oluningi ngemisebenzi elula kakhulu.
• I-Nostalgia nokusesha. Bethula ngeziqephu ezinzima zobuhlungu, usizi, intukuthelo nokuzizwa benecala. Ukuzwela kwabazali kuphezulu. Abazali bavame ukuhlola ukukhula kokukhulelwa usuku nosuku bese beqala ukuzigxeka ngezenzo ezithile ezenziwa ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa ukuthi baye ocansini ngasekupheleni kokukhulelwa ”, noma bangaveza ulaka lwabo kubasebenzi bezempilo, babasole ngomphumela obulalayo. Ukusabela kuyavela futhi, okungakhombisi ukuguqulwa kwengqondo nokusebenza kwengqondo futhi kubonakaliswa njengomzamo oqondile wokufuna ingane efile, lapho abanye besifazane bebika ukuzwa ukukhala kwengane noma ukuzwa ukunyakaza kwengane ngaphakathi ngemuva kokubeletha. Bayazibuza ngokwenzekile, bathambekele ekuzehlukaniseni nomphakathi bese bezama ukucacisa ukulahleka, befuna imbangela. Imvamisa ihlala phakathi kwezinyanga ezintathu kuya kweziyisithupha.
• Ukuhlukaniswa Kunokufana okuthile nokugula okucindezelayo, lapho kubonakala ukudabuka, ukunganaki, ukuqwasha, i-anorexia, ukwehla kokuzethemba, ukunganakwa, ukuhlala wedwa emphakathini kanye nomuzwa wokuntuleka kwezinhloso zesikhathi esizayo. Abazali baqala ukuzizwa benecala ngokungakwazi ukuphulukisa ekulahlekelweni futhi bangathatha indima yomuntu ogulayo ukufihla ukucindezeleka kwabo futhi bagweme ukugxekwa. Yisikhathi esingahlala phakathi kwezinyanga eziyisithupha nonyaka.
• Ukuhlela kabusha. Lapho kukhona ukulungiswa kancane kancane nokwamukelwa kokufa kwendodana. Kancane kancane, impilo ejwayelekile iyaqala futhi izinhlelo zekusasa ziyafakwa. Yize uthando lwengane lungashintshi noma lunciphile, abazali bafunde ukuhlala futhi, bafaka ukulahleka ezimpilweni zabo futhi babuyisa ithemba ngaphezu kobuhlungu. Isikhathi siyizinyanga eziyi-18 kuya kwezingama-36.

Ubude besikhathi usizi oluhlala ngalo buzoncika ekwakhekeni komndeni, ebuntwini babazali ngawodwana nangombhangqwana, futhi ngosizo lwangaphandle.

Ochwepheshe batusa ukulinda ezinyangeni eziyisi-6 ngemuva kokulahlekelwa ukuze ukhulelwe futhi, ukugwema lokho okuvame ukubizwa ngokuthi "ingane yokumela omunye umuntu." Ukunikela ngokulila kwengane ngokukhulelwa enye ngokushesha kuvimbela isenzo esisemqoka "sokuyeka" ingane elahlekile. Ingane entsha inelungelo lokuzihambela yodwa futhi ithole indawo yayo yangempela emndenini, futhi lokhu kuzoncika eduze kakhulu kuzinga lenqubo yosizi lukamama nobaba nasekhonweni labo lokukuhlukanisa ngokusobala kokuhlangenwe nakho. .