Uma wake wahlushwa yi-codependency uzokwazi ukuthi kufana nokulutha kwengqondo okukwenza uncike emoyeni. Ukuxhomekeka kwe-Codependence kuvela lapho abantu ababili abayimilutha ngokwengqondo besungula ubudlelwano phakathi kwabantu. Kepha uyini umsuka wangempela wale nkinga? Abantu abayimilutha ngokwengqondo kungenzeka bakhuliswe emindenini engasebenzi kahle ngemikhuba emibi yobuzali nemvelo engafanele yengqondo yokukhula okuhle kwengane.
Izingqondo zezingane zizwela kakhulu ekucindezelekeni okungapheli, ekuhlukunyezweni ngokomzwelo, nasekungahloniphi. Lapho izingane ziphakathi kweminyaka emibili nengu-2 ubudala zingena esigabeni esisha sokukhula kwengqondo nokuyilapho zikwazi ukuzimela noma cha. I-ego ifundisa izingane ezizimele ukuthi zibhekane nezenzo zazo, ukuveza imizwa yabo futhi bakwazi ukubhekana nokwesaba, ukukhathazeka nokulawula ukuziphatha kwabo. Izingane ezingadluli kulesi sigaba sokukhula zizoqhubeka zincike kubazali bazo noma kwabanye abantu.
Ukuxhomekeka nge-Codependency kuyelapheka futhi ukululama kuzofika kungekudala noma ngokuya ngesifiso sakho sokushintsha impilo yakho. Ngiyethemba lezi zeluleko namasu akusiza ukuthi unqamule izibopho ezingokomzwelo ezikulimaza kuphela futhi ezingeke zihlale isikhathi eside empilweni yakho. Nayi eminye imvundla yokunqoba ukuxhomekeka.
Chaza imingcele engokomzwelo
Ukuze ube nenkululeko engokomzwelo nokuzethemba, kufanele uchaze imikhawulo engokomzwelo. Isikhathi asisizi uma kukhulunywa ngezinkinga ezingokwengqondo, singaqinisa inkinga, uma ungenzi noma yimuphi umzamo wokushintsha impilo yakho, indlela yakho yokucabanga, izimo zakho zengqondo noma uzivikele ekwesabeni nasekugqilazweni, ngeke kusize ngalutho uma isikhathi sihamba.
Bonke abantu abaphethwe yikhodifomu abazi ukuthi bangabeka kanjani imingcele yemizwa futhi lokhu kubenza babe nokuzwela kakhulu futhi babe sengozini ngokwengqondo. Uma uzizwa unesibopho noma unecala labanye noma ngalokho abanye abangakucabanga, kufanele ubeke imingcele engokomzwelo ngenhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo.
Ngabe ufuna ukwazi ukuthi ungakwenza kanjani? Kumele udwebe umugqa wokucabanga phakathi kwakho nobuhlungu, izidingo zakho, izinkinga nokuhlupheka kwabanye. Ungavumeli noma uvumele abanye ukuthi bathulule imizwa yabo kuwe ngoba kubi kakhulu ukumunca ukunganaki kwabanye. Khumbula ukuthi abazali bakho nezihlobo zakho nabo bahlukile. Yazisa wonke umuntu ukuthi ungahlala ubeseka, ubahlonipha futhi ubathande kepha ukuthi ngeke uvumele izingxabano zabo zangaphakathi zidlule kuwe. Kuphelile!
Yiba ukuzimela ngokomzwelo
Esikhundleni sokuthembela komunye umuntu, into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ukuzimela emizweni yakho futhi uzimele kuzo zonke izici. Ukuxhomekeka ngokweqile ngokomzwelo kuvame ukukholelwa ukuthi kungumphumela wokuncika kwezezimali. Emindenini enobushiqela kakhulu, abazali banciphisa amathuba ezingane zabo ngokulawula imali. Abesifazane abaningi abazimele abangafuni ukuhlanganisa impilo nomsebenzi womndeni, bakuthola kunzima ukuthatha igxathu eliya kwinkululeko ... ngoba bathembele ngokuphelele kwezezimali kumlingani wabo ... lokhu kubizwa ngamaketanga angokomzwelo futhi angabonakali.
Uma ungazi ukuthi ungagqashula kanjani la maketanga, kufanele ubeke phambili ukuzimela kwakho kwezezimali bese uqala ukusebenza wedwa ukuze ukwazi ukuba nomnotho wakho. Ungumuntu okhululekile futhi ozimele, futhi lokhu kuzokusiza uzizwe ungcono kakhulu ngawe, kukhuphule ukuzethemba kwakho futhi kwandise ukumelana kwakho nengcindezi, ukugxekwa emphakathini kanye nokukhohliswa okungokomzwelo, zama ubone!