Uthando olunomdla. Ungangomnye wabo bantu bacinga ukuba kobu bomi, eyona njongo yethu iphambili kukufumana esinye isiqingatha, esinye isiqingatha esisizalisayo. Kwaye kuyimpazamo, ngumzekelo weklasikhi "wothando olungazi nto", into ethi ikhulelwe ixhomekeke kwiqabane ukuba ichaze umntu "opheleleyo".
Uthando olunomdla, kwelinye icala, lolunye olunikezela kolunye uvakalelo ukukhula njengomntu, ukuziva ugcwele kwaye uzithembile ukubonelela ngolonwabo kunye nokulinganisela kulowo umthandayo, kuba, naye uzive kamnandi ngaye . Akukho kuxhomekeka kubo bobabini, "ziiorenji ezimbini ezipheleleyo" ezaziyo ukwakha ubomi kunye nentlonipho nothando. Makhe sithethe namhlanje ukuba ucinga ngale nto ayaziwa kakuhle: Uthando lokuqonda.
Uthando olunomdla kunye nokukhula ngokweemvakalelo
Sonke sinazo ezingqondweni zethu ukuba iphupha elifanelekileyo, elinokuthi ngokuqinisekileyo libe lelethu. Umdlalo ogqibeleleyo. Ngelixa sisazi ukuba kubomi bokwenyani yonke le milinganiselo kunqabile ukuba ifezekiswe, baninzi abantu abanqwenela ngokwenene ukufumana umntu "ekuthiwa ugqibelele". Bazibekela iinjongo eziphakame kakhulu kangangokuba kunqabile ukuba baneliseke bubudlelwane abaziqalayo.
Ezi ntlobo zeeprofayili zichaza kakuhle iifayile ze- "uthando lwezithandani", ondliwe phantse qho ngefantasy nangeengcinga ezinobungozi njengoko zingenakwenzeka. Konke oku kukwakheni uthando olungazi nto. Ngoku, ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba akukho kuthandana kunye nomlingo eluthandweni? Yonke into ibubuxoki?
Ewe akunjalo, zimbalwa iimvakalelo ezinzulu kwaye zigcwele njengothando, nangona kunjalo, kufuneka siqwalasele uthotho lwezinto ezinokusinceda ukuba silumke ngakumbi kwaye siqonde ubudlelwane obuncinci obunomdla. Qaphela:
"Uthando olunomdla" aloyiki ukuba nesithukuthezi
Uloyiko lokuba wedwa yenye yezona zinto zinobungozi xa usakha ubudlelwane. Baninzi abantu abadibanisa ukuthandana emva komnye ngenxa nje thintela isizungu, ngokuba nomntu ecaleni kwakhe ukuzalisa ukungonwabi ngokweemvakalelo kunye noloyiko lwakhe.
Abantu abanakho ukuqala ubudlelwane obuphilileyo kunye nolonwabo ngabo "banabo bafuna ngokwenene, bathanda ngokwenene." Kwaye abayenzi loo nto ukuzalisa isithuba okanye uloyiko, konke konke. Zizinto ezinokuthi zibe zodwa kakuhle, eziyaziyo indlela yokuyonwabela kwaye ziziqonde ixabiso layo. Nangona kunjalo, xa bedibana nomntu oxabiseke ngokwenene, abathandabuzi ukwabelana ngobomi babo nomntu abamkhethileyo. Bayayenza nge ukunyaniseka nokwazi iimvakalelo zakho.
"Uthando olunomdla" alukhathazwa kukukhangela umntu ogqibeleleyo
Siyazi, sonke "sineminqweno" esisiseko ekuya kuthi, ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo, ibe ngumntu olungileyo. Kwaye kulungile, kuba ngandlela-thile, iyasinceda sazi ukuba siyintoni ukulungele ukuvumela kwaye esingakwenziyo, okusifaneleyo nokuba yintoni, ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo, eya kusonwabisa.
Ngoku, kufuneka ube nenjongo kwaye uyazi ukuba akukho mntu ugqibeleleyo. Ukuba sonke sineziphene ezamkelekileyo okanye ezamkelekileyo, izinto esizithandayo kunye namasiko. Into ebalulekileyo, ngaphambi kokuba sigxile ekufumaneni "oyena mntu ulungileyo", kukuba sibe kuqala thina, oyena mntu sifuna ukuba nguye.
Oko kukuthi, ixhala kuqala malunga nokuziva ulungile ngesiqu sakho, malunga nokukhuthaza ukuzithemba kwakho, malunga nokuziva wonwabile, ugcwele kwaye ugqibelele, umntu onwabela ukuba ungubani kunye nezinto anazo. Omnye umntu, ngokuyintloko, uyakwazi ukuzisa ulonwabo nokuqola kwabanye.
Yiba ngumntu ongathanda ukuba naye ecaleni kwakho
Ngaba ungomnye wabo bafuna ukuba nomntu ecaleni kwakho ukuze onwabe? Ngaba awuziva mnandi ngesiqu sakho? Ngaba uziva ngathi sisiqingatha esilahlekileyo esidinga ukuncoma umntu? Ke rhoqo uya kuziva ungenanto, Kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo, lonke iqabane onalo alisoze likwazi ukukwenza wonwabe ngokwenyani.
Ngamanye amaxesha sigxeka abanye ngamashwa ethu, ukuba abasiqondi okanye abaziqondi iimfuno zethu, kanti enyanisweni ingxaki inokuba thina. Nangona kunjalo, into enje kunzima ukuyibona.
Ungayifumana njani? Ungayenza njani loo mntu esingathanda ukuba nayo nathi?
- Funda kuqala ukuzimela, ukuthatha izigqibo zakho kwaye ube nesikali samaxabiso ngokobuntu bakho.
- Mamela ilizwi lakho, sukuvumela abanye bakuthethele.
- Ungaze uvumele ulonwabo lwakho luxhomekeke kwabanye. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ube neqabane ukuze wonwabe, eyona nto ifanelekileyo kukuba kuqala, uyakuxabisa ixabiso lokuba wedwa, Ukulandela amanyathelo akho ngokuzithemba kunye nesibindi. Fumanisa ukuba uyakwazi ukuzonwabisa ngokufezekisa amaphupha akho, uzicel 'umngeni, ufunde yonke imihla, uzive ukhuselekile, uphumelele ...
- Nje ukuba ukufumanise yonke into oyiyo, ukuba uxabiseke kangakanani kwaye ulunge kangakanani, uya kuba nguloo mntu onokuthanda ukuba naye. Emva koko, ungathandabuzi, ekugqibeleni, eli qabane "lilungileyo" liya kuthi libonakalise kuwe kwaye lifumanise oko sele ukwazi: ukuba ungumntu ufanelwe ukonwaba kwaye emva koko, iyayazi indlela yokwenza abanye bonwabe.
Ungathandabuzi, uthando luya kuza xa kufuneka. Kwaye okungakumbi, khumbula oku nawe "Uthando lwenene aluzi ngesiquphe kuye, kodwa endaweni yoko, luyinxalenye yethu ngaphakathi".