Kuyinyani eqhubeka ngokuxhaphakileyo: uninzi lwethu kufuneka silugcine ubudlelwane besibini kude. Namhlanje kuqhelekile ukuba, ngenxa yomsebenzi kunye nezizathu zemfundo, kufuneka sizihlukanise nomnye umntu nazo zonke iziphumo ezibandakanya oku. Ayisiyiyo loo nto kuphela. Ngokwezibalo ezahlukeneyo, inani labantu abaqala ubudlelwane kumgama enkosi kubuchwephesha obutsha kunye nenethiwekhi yoluntu liphezulu kakhulu. Ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo, yindlela entsha yokuseka iibhondi ezichaseneyo ziyahluka, kancinane, ukusuka kumbono weklasikhi wobudlelwane bobabini.
Kodwa ngaba ezi ntlobo zobudlelwane zizinzile kwaye ziyanelisa kumalungu azo? Ngokucacileyo akunjalo, asiyiyo le nto uyilindeleyo. Kukho ukungakhuseleki okuthile, ukulangazelela kunye noloyiko lokuba, ngexesha elithile, uthe umanyano luya buthathaka lude lulahlekelwe. Akukho lula, ngenxa yoko ukusuka Bezzia Sifuna ukukunika izitshixo onokuthi uzigcine engqondweni ukuze ungaphelelwa ngumdla. Ukuze eli xesha apho kufuneka uhlale wahlukene ngenxa yaso nasiphi na isizathu, akuthethi isiphelo konke konke, kodwa isigaba ukuba isibini iyakwazi ukumelana kwaye ijongane nempumelelo.
Iindlela zokugcina ulwalamano lwam lukude
1. Thembela komnye umntu
Ukuzithemba ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo sisiseko onokuthi usigcine ubudlelwane obude obude. Kwaye enye into ekufuneka uyigcinile engqondweni kukuba ayingabo bonke abantu abanakho ukuseka nokuxhasa ezi ntlobo zezinto eziyinyani. Abona bantu bangathembekanga okanye abanomona ophakamileyo wobukhwele, baya kuthwala ubunzima olukhulu olo suku nosuku apho kungekho manyano wokunyaniseka omnye komnye, kunzima kakhulu kwisibini ukuba sizigcine ekuhambeni kwexesha.
Kukwanokuthiwa kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba uzive "usoyika", ukuziva ungazithembanga xa ucinga malunga nokuba iqabane lethu liza kuqhubeka lisithanda naxa kungekho kunxibelelana, nangona bengekho kunye nabo kwaye becinga ukuba banxulumene kwabanye abantu. Yiyo loo nto kuyacetyiswa ukuba udlulisele la mathandabuzo kwiqabane lakho kodwa uhlale ngendlela elungeleleneyo, ngaphandle kokuba ukutyeba. Gcina ukhumbula ukuba omnye umntu naye uyakukhumbula kwaye, ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo, banoloyiko olufanayo nolwakho.
2. Ukusetyenziswa kwetekhnoloji entsha
Cinga okomzuzwana ukuba ubudlelwane phakathi koomama okanye oomakhulu bethu babube njani ngala maxesha xa babenyanzelwa ukuba baye phesheya baye kusebenza okanye bafunde, beshiya amaqabane abo kwindawo abavela kuyo. Iileta neminxeba yayikukuphela kwendlela zonxibelelwano. Kwaye kunjalo, uninzi lwezi ubudlelwane zigcinwa ngexesha. Namhlanje kulula. Ngapha koko, zininzi izibini ezivela kwezi zijelo. Izibini ezazana ngomnatha wonxibelelwano kwaye, okwexeshana, le kuphela kwendlela yazo yokwazana kunye nokondla ubudlelwane.
El iselfowuni, skype, whatsapp… Njl, ziindlela ezigqwesileyo zokunxibelelana imihla ngemihla. Kodwa kukho umda. Akufuneki sisebenzise ezi zixhobo "ukulawula" omnye umntu ngalo lonke ixesha. Ukuba lipolisa ayisiyiyo isibini. Kufuneka sihloniphe, sithembele kwaye sijonge loo mzuzu xa kulungile kuthi sobabini ukuba sinxibelelane, sazi malunga omnye nomnye.
3. Umgama wenzelwe injongo
Ngokucacileyo akukho buhlobo buya kuhlala buhleli kude. Inyaniso yokuba isibini esahlukanisiweyo kungenxa yezizathu ezithile, ngeenjongo ezinomda wexesha kunye nezikabani injongo iqondwa ngabo bobabini, kwaye oku kufanele kucace. Omnye kwaba babini usenokuba uye washiya umsebenzi, ukuvula indlela apho omnye umntu aya kuthi kamva ajoyine indawo enye. Mhlawumbi, kufuneka sishiye ukugqibezela uqeqesho lwethu lwezifundo, senze isidanga se-master okanye olo lwazi luya kuthi kamva luchaphazele ikamva lethu kunye nokusebenza kwethu. Ngamanye amagama, isizathu esibange ukuba esi sibini sahlukane kufuneka siqondwe kwaye sihlonitshwe ngabo bobabini. Ukuba nangaliphi na ixesha ungcikivwa njengolu "kwenzeka ngenxa yokuba ukhethe ukushiya undishiye" ukuqala ukuvela, ubudlelwane buya kuqala ukubandezeleka. Kwaye ngumngcipheko.
4. Singaphila njani ngaphandle kokuba neqabane lethu?
Njengoko besesitshilo ngaphambili, kubantu abaninzi oku akunakwenzeka. Kukho abo bafuna ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba lokudibana kwemihla ngemihla, ukusondela kunye nolo hlobo lolawulo xa usazi malunga neqabane lethu phantse ngalo lonke ixesha. Iyaqondakala loo nto. Kodwa kufuneka sikhumbule ukuba ngamanye amaxesha, ubomi busibeka kolu hlobo lovavanyo, kwaye ukoyisa kuzo kuyakuba yindlela yokubonisa ukukhula kwethu kunye namandla endibano nomntu esimthandayo. Kufuneka sithembele kwaye sakhe ubuhlobo bethu ngenye indlela. Kuya kufuneka silixhase, sisuse uloyiko komnye umntu ngokubonisa uthando lwethu, kufuneka sizikhuthaze ngalo mhla wangomso xa ukudibana kwenzeka kwaye yonke into ibifanele. Ubudlelwane obukude bunokuphumelela okoko nje sisenza njengabantu abaqolileyo, abazithembileyo nabazithembileyo. ukuzithemba okuhle.
Ukuqukumbela, kule mihla ezi ntlobo zobudlelwane zihlala rhoqo kwaye zibeka uninzi lwexabiso lethu kunye neemvakalelo zethu kuvavanyo. Ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bunyanisekile kwaye bonwabile, uya kwenza yonke imizamo yokuyigcina ngexesha ngaphandle komgama. Yicinge njengovavanyo lokunyamezela, uvavanyo lomntu olunenjongo yakhe izakufaneleka ngomso.