Yintoni ebangela ukuba sikhethe ethile uhlobo lwesibini hayi enye? Ngamanye amaxesha ulwalamano lwethu oluninzi alusoloko lulolona lufanelekileyo okanye luphumelele. Kungenxa yoko le nto sihlala siphela sizibuza ukuba kutheni kuye kwafuneka sithandane nomntu ongafanelekanga kwaphela. Ngaba ubuntu bethu bunento yokwenza nayo? Ababhali abanjengo-biologist owaziwayo kunye ne-anthropologist UHelen Isixelela ukuba kucacile ukuba kunjalo. Sonke sineempawu zobuntu ezenza ukuba sihambelane ngakumbi okanye ngokungafaniyo neeprofayili ezithile, ezinokuthi zichonge uzinzo kunye nolonwabo kwesi sibini.
Nangona kunjalo. Sonke sinamava ethu kwaye nezinto ezidlulileyo ezichaphazelekayo apho sifikelela kwizigqibo zethu. Siyakwazi okusilungeleyo kunye nokungasilungelanga. Kodwa ke ikhona into ecacileyo: umtsalane uvela ngaphandle kokuba sikwazi ukuwuphepha, kwaye kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuqala ubudlelwane nabantu esiziva sinomdla kubo, nditsho nokwazi ukuba ekuqaleni, asihambelani kakhulu. Uthando lune-reverse into inzululwazi engafikeleli kuyo, apho ifuna ibhalansi yethu, ukukhula kwethu kukwazi ukuthatha isigqibo, ukukhetha okanye ukubeka umgama ukuba ixesha lifikile. Okulungileyo ukuzithemba kwaye uyazi ukulawula ngokufanelekileyo iimvakalelo zethu yinto ebalulekileyo ongamele uyilibale. Ukanti, iithiyori ezinje ngezo zaziwa nguHelen Fisher zichaziwe. Ke khangela ukuba loluphi uhlobo lweprofayili yobuntu ekufanele kakhulu.
Ubuntu obuhambelana kakhulu nohlobo lomntu
1. Abahloli nabahloli
Buyintoni ubuntu "bomphandi" ngokwethiyori yesazi ngemvelaphi yabantu uHelen Fisher? Ewe, iprofayile yomphandi iya kuba nayo ezi zinto zilandelayo:
- Khangela iimvakalelo.
- Bangabantu abazithembileyo abathanda ukuba nemvakalelo yokulawula izinto.
- Abafuni ngakumbi ukuzinza kwesi sibini.
- Ziziprofayili ezizenzekelayo ezikhanyisa amandla.
- Bayathanda ukufumana izinto ezintsha, bathathe umngcipheko, babe liziko lokuqwalaselwa.
- Kwinqanaba lesibini banokuthanda kakhulu, kodwa njengoko sisitsho, bafuna uzinzo kuthi.
- Banomdla, bayile kwaye banethemba.
Njengoko unokuthelekelela, ezi ntlobo zobuntu zinokulingana kuphela nabantu abafana kakhulu. Ukuba asithandi izinto ezifanayo, sinokubandezeleka kakhulu okanye sithathe ukuphoxeka. Ukuba, umzekelo, umntu ujonge ukuqala iprojekthi yosapho eqhelekileyo, ayifanelekanga ukuba ube "nomhloli wamazwe" njengeqabane.
2. Abakhi naBakhi
Mhlawumbi igama elilula sele likunika umkhondo wokuba ungabanjani ubuntu "Umakhi". Nazi izinto eziphambili:
- Iiprofayili eziqhubekayo, ezifuna injongo kwaye zizame ukuyiphumeza.
- Banyanisekile, bathembekile kwaye ngabantu abazolile.
- Bathanda izithethe nayo yonke into ebanika ukhuseleko.
- Abathandi ukuthatha umngcipheko, bahlala belandela imigaqo emiselweyo kwaye sithanda utshintsho okanye ukuphuma kwinkqubo yabo.
- Bangabathandi bosapho kunye nabakhuseli abathembekileyo bezi zixabiso.
Kwakhona siyayibona indlela ngokwethiyori ka-Fisher, kubalulekile ukuba abantu ababini babe neempawu zobuntu ezifanayo ukuqala i ubudlelwane obuzinzileyo. Kule meko sibona isibini esidala esifuna ngaphezulu kwayo yonke into ukwenza usapho. Yiba nozinzo kwaye uqale ubomi kunye onjongo ikukuphila ubomi bemihla ngemihla apho kungekho tshintsho. Apho ixabiso le familia ube yi-axis esisiseko. Ukuba ngeli xesha, umzekelo, awuqinisekanga ukuba ufuna ukuzinza ebomini bakho okanye nokuba unabantwana, kunokwenzeka ukuba unomahluko othile naloo mntu unobuntu "bomakhi".
2. Ubuntu bokuphatha nobuntu obuthethanayo
Ekugqibeleni sibona indibaniselwano ye ubuntu ezimbini ezahlukeneyo. Kwaye ndiqinisekile ukuba uyakothuka ngulo mxube wabalinganiswa oqhele ukwenzeka kwesi sibini:
Ubuntu bolawulo:
- Aba ngabantu abahlalutya kakhulu abadla ngokubona inyani yabo ngokwembono ebonakalayo.
- Ziyalelekile, zizithembile kwaye zilawula.
- Bazilawula kakuhle iimvakalelo zabo.
- Bahlala besika beleqa, besenza kwaye bethetha izinto ngokungagungqiyo.
- Bafuna kakhulu ukugqibelela.
Ukuxoxa ngobuntu:
- Imvakalelo kunye novakalelo lwabantu.
- Bafuna ukuxhaswa, ukwamkelwa nokunyanyekelwa.
- Banomdla kwaye banengqondo.
- Bayakwazi ukufunda phakathi kwemigca kwaye babamba abanye kakuhle.
- Bayaphupha kwaye bayacinga.
Ukubona ezi mpawu sele unokuqonda ukuba kutheni ubuntu Imikhombandlela bakha izibini ezilungileyo nge Abathetha-thethwano. Ziyaphelelisana, ziyahambelana enye nenye ngendlela ebonakala ngathi idala ukuvumelana okuhle phakathi kwazo. I-Logic ngokuchaseneyo ne-intuition, uvakalelo xa kuthelekiswa nokuchaneka. Inokuza mhlawumbi ukuxhasa ezo zinto zichaseneyo zinomtsalane.
Le ithiyori yobuntu bothando ichazwe ngokubanzi kwincwadi ka UHelen Fisher onesihloko esithi "Kutheni esenza yena? Kutheni yena? (Kutheni kuye? Kutheni kuye?). Umbhali uqhube izifundo ezininzi kunye nodliwanondlebe ukumisela le milinganiselo inomdla, apho kufuneka ubandakanye ezona mpawu ziphambili zobuntu kwezi zibini zizinzileyo. Singavuma ngaphezulu okanye ngaphantsi, awunakuziqonda kuyo nayiphi na kuzo, kodwa kuyo nayiphi na imeko, iyasinceda ukuba sicinge. Kucacile kuthi, umzekelo, ukuba kubalulekile ukuba abantu ababini babenomdla ofanayo ukufezekisa uzinzo kunye nolonwabo. Kananjalo, loo ntlonipho, ukuqonda kunye neprojekthi yexesha elizayo iphakamisa loo ntsika isisiseko apho siqinisa ubudlelwane bethu. Ke ezi ngcamango zihlala kufanelekile ukuba zikhunjulwe, ubuncinci ukusenza ukuba sicinge kwaye siziqonde ngcono.