Ukuthanda abantu ababini ngaxeshanye yinto engabonwa okanye yamkelwa eluntwini. Kubandakanya ukwakha unxantathu apho elinye lamalungu likhohliswa, apho ukubandezeleka ngokweemvakalelo ngamanye amaxesha iphezulu kakhulu kwaye ihlala iphelela ekusileleni. Kodwa masicinge, umzekelo, ngala matyala asondele kakhulu kuthi, abantu abagcina ubudlelwane obuzinzileyo nobuzinzileyo kunye namaqabane abo, kodwa nangona kunjalo baqhubeke bekhumbula olo thando kwakudala. Obo budlelwane, nokuba kungasiphi na isizathu, abuphumelelanga. Uthando oluqhubeka kwimemori, kwaye loo nto, ngandlela thile, ibenza "bathandane" nabantu ababini ngaxeshanye.
Iingcali zengqondo zisixelela ukuba zininzi iintlobo zothando. Kwaye nangaphezulu, uthando emntwini ludlula kwizigaba ezininzi apho sinokuziva sineemvakalelo ezahlukeneyo: inkanuko, umdla wesondo, ukuthanda ... kungoko kunokwenzeka ukuba ukhulise iimvakalelo ezahlukeneyo zabantu ababini ngaxeshanye. Ke, njengoko iingcali kunye neengcali zisixelela, yile inyani eqhelekileyo phakathi kwethu. Sichaza kancinci apha ngezantsi.
1. Iziphumo zokuthanda abantu ababini ngaxeshanye
Uluntu lwaseNtshona luphawula thina imigaqo yokuziphatha phakathi kwayo, akubonakali kakuhle okanye kwamkelwe ukuba umntu unamaqabane amabini. Kuqhelekile, nangona kunjalo, ukuba banobudlelwane obufanayo kunye nobufihlakeleyo. Abantu abathi, ukuba neqabane elizinzileyo, banemfihlo "yokuthandana". Yinto leyo, njengoko sele sazi, ibandakanya ukubandezeleka okukhulu kunye noxinzelelo. Kucinga ukungcatshwa kulowo mntu sigcina ukuzibophelela kuye.
Ezi ntlobo zeemeko zixhaphake kakhulu kwiiofisi zonyango. Kodwa abo bafumana le nyaniso baxela ukuba iindleko zeemvakalelo kunye nokubandezeleka kuhlala kuphezulu kakhulu. Imalunga ne amava anomdla kunye nengqondo ezifuna inqanaba eliphezulu lokuzibandakanya, ezisifaka kwingxwabangxwaba ekungasoloko kulula ukujongana nayo. Makhe siyibone ngokweenkcukacha.
- Iindleko zomoya: Masibeke ityala elilula. Umntu uyakhohlisa kwiqabane lakhe kunye nesithandwa sakhe sesithathu. Ukugcina ubomi obumbaxa usazi ukuba uyamngcatsha umntu kwaye emva koko, awunakho ukukhokelela kubomi obuqhelekileyo obuqhelekileyo kunye nomntu onolwalamano naye, ekuhambeni kwexesha unokumfaka kulowo ungquzulwano olunzima. Kuyinyani ukuba yonke into ixhomekeke kuhlobo lobuntu kunye neempawu zomntu ngamnye, kodwa akukho nkohliso inokugcinwa ngonaphakade, kwaye iziphumo ngokweemvakalelo baya kuba neendleko eziphezulu.
- Uxinzelelo kwezentlalo-Le yinto engenakuphikwa enxulumene nembono yokuthandana nabantu ababini ngaxeshanye. Akukho mntu wayenokwamkela ukuba iqabane lethu, umzekelo, lalinalo elinye iqabane. Ayifani nenkcubeko yethu. Kwaye nangaphezulu, Uthando ludla ngokufuna ububodwa kunye novakalelo oluthile lobunini. "Ngamaqabane ethu", sifuna ukuba uthando kunye nokwabelana ngesondo kungagqithisi kwisangqa sesibini, eso sivumelwano siyakhayo kunye. Oko kukuthi, siyakuxabisa kwaye sinyanzele ukuba sodwa kwaye amaqabane ethu abodwa. Kungoko ubunzima bokwamkela "ukuba kukho indawo yokuthanda abantu ababini ngaxeshanye."
2. Amanqanaba okuthandana
Ababhali bathanda UOtto Kernberg bonisa ukuba umbono wokuthandana nabantu ababini ngaxeshanye unokunxulumana nezigaba ezahlukeneyo zokuthandana ngokwakho. Ngamanye amagama, abantu badlula kwizigaba ezahlukeneyo apho oko kubizwa ngokuba yi "biochemistry yothando" kusebenza ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo:
1. Isigaba sokuqala
Apha abantu bafumana ukudubula kweemvakalelo. Ingqondo yethu ilawulwa ngaphezulu kwako konke ngeeurotransmitter ezimbini ezinamandla ezinje nge Dopamine kunye neadrenaline, inako ukusifaka kwisimo se-euphoria. Siziva singonwabanga, sisoyika, sichulumancile. Siziva sinovalo esiswini, kunzima ukugxila kunye nokuphantse kuthi ga ngokusisigxina kuloo mntu sinomdla kuye.
2. Isigaba sesibini
Kweli nqanaba lesibini lokuthandana uyasebenza yioxytocin. I-neurotransmitter eyonyusa kuthi imvakalelo yokuncamathisela kunye nomanyano. Eli linqanaba lokukhululeka ngakumbi apho abantu baqala izicwangciso ezifanayo, bomeleza amaqhina kwaye bomeleze ukuzibophelela kwabo. Akusekho uthando olunomdla nolukhathazayo njengangaphambili, kodwa into esiyaziyo ngokuba "luthando lothando" ihanjisiwe ngakumbi. Ngokutsho kwengqondo, uthando olunomdla aluhlali ngaphezu konyaka onesiqingatha.
3. Isigaba sesithathu
Apha sele singena kwinqanaba lokuncamathela kwemihla ngemihla. Apho apho uthando lukhoyo, uthando oluhlaziyiweyo apho uzinzo luphawula loo mini yonke imihla ngaphandle kokushiya inkanuko yomzuzwana bucala, kodwa apho ukuzibophelela okuzolileyo ngokuqikelela okuzinzileyo okuzinzileyo kuqheleke ngakumbi. I-Adrenaline kunye ne-dopamine azisekho ngoku, ukuba "uvuyo" alusekho. Kukhululekile ngakumbi, ubudlelwane phakathi kwala malungu mabini sele busekiwe, kwaye uncamathiselo ngumzekelo wolo suku. Ingaba nobunono, uthando oluvuthiweyo ngakumbi.
Singatsho ke ukuba, nangona kungabonwa kakuhle kwaye kungamkelwa, ngokwebhayoloji nangokweemvakalelo kunokwenzeka ukuba uthandane nabantu ababini ngaxeshanye. Sinako, umzekelo, ukuhlala kwisigaba sesithathu sothando kunye neqabane lethu kwaye ngequbuliso, siziva sinovuyo kulowo usebenza naye okanye umhlobo. Kodwa ngoku, idatha ibonisa ukuba kunjalo ubudlelwane obungaphumelelanga ngendleko eziphezulu zeemvakalelo. Uthando ngokungathandabuzekiyo luyinkimbinkimbi kwaye kunzima ukusasaza phantsi kwelensi yemakroskopu ukuze uluqonde ngokupheleleyo. Sisoloko sizama ukwahlulahlula phantsi kweelebheli ezahlukeneyo: uthando lwesithandana, uthando lweplato, uthando olunomdla ...
Kodwa khumbula, kungcono ukuba ulumke kwaye uzame ukugcina ulungelelwano apho, ungonzakalisi mntu, kwaye uhlala ufuna ulonwabo lwakho.