Ngaba wakha wanayo ubudlelwane "obunetyhefu"? Uthando olukuzisele ukubandezeleka ngakumbi kunolonwabo? Kungumnqweno wokudibana neenkcukacha-manani esibonelelwa ngazo ngoochwephesha kulo mbandela ukubona ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba umntu owakhe waba kubudlelwane obunetyhefu awaphindaphinde amava ngaphezulu kwesihlandlo esinye. Kutheni le nto ngamanye amaxesha "siwa" amaxesha ngamaxesha kubudlelwane obunobungozi?
Zininzi izinto ekufuneka zisilumkise ngokukhawuleza ukuba abantu abathile abakulungelanga ukuba sisibini okanye bagcine naluphi na uhlobo lobudlelwane nabo, nokuba lolobuhlobo. Eyona nto intle kukugcina umgama ocacileyo. Nangona kunjalo, kukho inani lemilinganiselo ekufuneka uyisebenzele ngokwakho ukuziqonda ezi profayile ngexesha. Namhlanje kwi Bezzia Sifuna ukuphanda kolu hlobo lwengxaki eqhelekileyo.
Ubudlelwane obuyityhefu: Kutheni ngamanye amaxesha siphinda la mava?
Okokuqala, kufuneka senze inkalo enye icace. Akukho buhlobo bufanayo, umanyano ngalunye esilusebenzisayo nomntu othile wahlukile kwaye uneempawu ezahlukileyo. Ngoku i ukubandezeleka ukuba siziva sinobudlelwane obunetyhefu nobuyingozi, kuhlala kufana. Apho apho amalungelo ethu anyhashiweyo, apho ukuzithemba kwethu kubuthathaka kwaye apho, ngaphandle kokuyiqonda, siphela siyiloo "satellite ejikeleza iplanethi", ejikeleze iqabane layo. Siphulukana nendlela yethu, kwaye siziva singenanto.
Ubudlelwane obahlukeneyo kodwa ingxaki enye, ubutyhefu babantu abangakwaziyo ukuzisa ulonwabo. Ngoku masibone ukuba yeyiphi imilinganiselo ekufuneka siyicacisile malunga nokuthintela ukuqala ubudlelwane obutsha kunye nokwenza iimpazamo ezifanayo.
1. Lumkela uthando olukhuselayo
Abasetyhini abaninzi bathanda ukuziva bekhuselekile, benxibile kwaye bekhathalelwe. Ubudlelwane obunetyhefu buhlala buqala ngezi ndlela zokuziphatha:
- Iinkcukacha zabantu abazinyamekelayo iimfuno zethu zonke, bayakhusela kwaye ekuqaleni, siyazivumela simangaliswe lolu hlobo lwengqwalaselo.
- Kancinci kancinane ezi ngqwalaselo ziba yinto engaphezulu ngenkani. Ama-blackmails amancinci nezingcikivo ziyavela: "Ngayo yonke into endikwenzela yona kwaye ngoku uyandiphika le", "Uyazi ukuba ndingakwenzela yona", "Ndihlala ndikhathazeka ngawe kwaye awubonakali uyayithanda.
- Ukukhuselwa okufunayo akunampilo, yimizamo efihliweyo yokulawula kunye nokufihla.
2. Lumkele uthando olungakwaziyo ukuthemba
Ukuthembana yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yobudlelwane obonwabileyo nobusempilweni. Abantu abangathembekanga baphendula ngokugqibeleleyo kwezi profayile zomona Balawula amaqabane abo, ukuthintela, ukubeka esweni, ukulawula ...
Ukuba sakha ubudlelwane bethu njengesibini Ukungathembeki, soze kubekhona ukusondelelana kunye nobunzima bokukhula buqu, ukukhula kunye kunye kwaye wonwabe. Kuza kuhlala kukho iingxoxo, siya kuhlala senza izinto ngokungazithembi noloyiko. Kwaye ubudlelwane obuphakama ngaphezulu kwale milinganiselo bunokusizisela kuphela ukubandezeleka.
3. Lumkela uthando olungakakhuli
Ubudlelwane obunetyhefu busetyenziswa ngokubanzi Ubuntu obungafezekanga kunye nokungazithembi. Bangabantu abaneemfuno ezininzi zeemvakalelo abangakhange bafumane izakhono ezisisiseko njengokuzithemba okuhle, ukuqonda okufanelekileyo kunye nokulinganisela ngokweemvakalelo ukuze bakwazi ukwenza abanye abantu bonwabe.
Ukuba abanawo umfanekiso oqinileyo wabo, baya kuxela ukungakhuseleki kwabo kuthi. Qaphela ezona ndlela bahlala beziphatha ngazo:
- Ukutshintsha kwemood rhoqo, kukho iintsuku apho siyeyona nto intle eyenzekileyo ebomini babo, ngelixa ngamanye amaxesha, sivela phambi kwamehlo abo njengabantu ababuthathaka abangakwaziyo ukubonwabisa.
- Sebenzisa ubutyebi bentsimbi Ukusihlasela, ukuhlekisa ngathi okanye ukubeka ubungqina. Zizicwangciso-qhinga zezobuchule zokusihlazisa nokusenza buthathaka, zisishiya sikwinqanaba elisezantsi kunelo zokulawula.
4. Lumkela olo thando lungakuvumeliyo ukuba ube nguwe
Rhoqo, siqala ubudlelwane obutsha obugcwele ithemba, sonwabile kwaye sigxile kwihlabathi liphela kuloo mntu. Kuya kufuneka ulumkele ezi ndlela zokuziphatha:
- Ukwenza isibini akuyeki konke okukuphawulelayo, yintoni eyakho kwaye ichaza ntoni. Kulungile ukuba nemincili, wenze iiprojekthi ... Yinto eyimfuneko, akukho mathandabuzo, kodwa ukuba kuye kufike ixesha apho uncama izinto ezingaphezulu kokuzifumanayo, ke uqhuba umngcipheko omkhulu kakhulu.
- Ukuba iqabane lakho liqala Ukwalela ngokuqinisekileyo izinto, ukuba uyabona ukuba yonke imihla ushiya ngasemva ezo zinto ubukade uzithanda ukuzenza, ukuba uyekile ukubona abahlobo bakho, kwaye uqaphele ukuba ubeka umsebenzi wakho wobuchule ecaleni, yima okomzuzwana ucinge ngawo uphi Ngaba ucinga ukuba kufanelekile? Ngaba usengumfazi ofanayo kwiminyaka embalwa edlulileyo, lowo wayevuya ngobomi kwaye ingqondo yakhe igcwele iiprojekthi?
- Akukho mntu kufuneka akuthintele ungabi nguwe, akukho mntu kufuneka avale amagama akho okanye acofe amaphiko amaphupha akho kunye neemfuno zakho.
Ukuququmbela. Kufanelekile ukukhumbula ukuba ukuba sisibini, "kuyongeza", kungaze kususwe. Kuya kufuneka ukuba sikhule njengesibini kodwa nangabantu ngabanye, sizityebise kwaye sihloniphane, sithandane ngokukhula nokuzithemba. Ukuba uyaqonda ukuba awufumani nayiphi na le nto, kwaye ubona kuphela ukubandezeleka kwentliziyo yakho, qhekeza imitya yolo lwalamano lunetyhefu ngokukhawuleza. Ukungonwabi akunakuze kukhethwe. Ngumnyango wokuvala. Funda ukuqaphela ubuntu obunetyhefu ngaphambi kokuba kude kakhulu ebomini bakho.