"Kusethandweni nantoni na iya", "nayiphi na imizamo okanye ukuzincama kwiqabane lethu kufanelekile." Ukuba ungomnye wabo bahlala bekholelwa kwezi ngxelo ziqhelekileyo, wenza impazamo. Kubudlelwane bababini, ayizizo zonke izinto ezivunyelweyo kwaye ayisiyiyo yonke into enokuthetheleleka. Kufuneka sikhumbule ngaphezulu kwayo yonke into ukuba ubudlelwane obunempilo kufuneka busekwe ngaphezulu kwako konke ekucebiseni, inkululeko nentlonipho. Ukusukela oko saqala ukunikezela, saqala ukuphulukana.
Akufuneki sishiye izitshixo ekukhuleni kwethu kunye nolonwabo lwethu epokothweni yeqabane lethu. Kubalulekile ukuba ukuzibophelela kusekelwe kukuthembana, apho sinokuthi siqhubeke nokugcina ubuwena, amasiko ethu, ubuhlobo kunye neemfuno. Ezo zisivumelayo sonwabele ukuba singobani, kunye nokuzithemba kwethu nokuzithemba. Kukho izinto ezithile ezisisiseko ongafanele uzincame. Sichaza apha ngezantsi.
Izinto ezi-5 ongafanele uzincame kubudlelwane bakho neqabane
1. Ilungelo lokuzenzela isigqibo
Soloko umamela ilizwi lomntu omthandayo, kodwa ungaze uyeke ukumamela eyakho ilizwi elingaphakathi. Ukugcina ubudlelwane obulungileyo nobuzinzileyo kufuna, njengoko sele uyazi, uthetha-thethana phantse yonke imihla. Izivumelwano ezifikelelwayo. Kucacile ukuba ngaphezulu kwesihlandlo esinye siza kunikezela ngento, yinto eqhelekileyo, kodwa ungabavumeli bathule uluvo lwakho okanye ukhetho lwakho ngalo naliphi na ixesha.
Sinelungelo lokuthatha isigqibo kwaye sinike nelizwi kwiingcinga zethu, njengokuba nathi sinoxanduva lokumamela omnye ukuze simisele unxibelelwano olululo nolusebenzayo. Ngamanye amaxesha kukho iiprofayili zobuntu ezingamkeliyo ezinye okanye izimvo ezigxekayo kakhulu, abantu abangaboni kakuhle ukuba amaqabane abo anelizwi labo. Thintela oku ukuba kwenzeke, soloko uzenzela isigqibo. Ixabiso kunye nemfuneko yokuba singaze siphulukane nayo.
2. Isidingo sokuqondwa
Akukho nto ikhethekileyo ngaphezu kokuqondwa liqabane lethu kunye nokuqonda umntu esimthandayo. Oku kusivumela ukuba sibenomanyano olulodwa, a ubunzima yanele ukomeleza ubudlelwane bethu. Ukuze siqonde umntu kufuneka sazi indlela yokumamela, sazi ukuqonda nokuqonda. Kwaye ngokucacileyo, oku kuyafana noko sikulindeleyo kumaqabane ethu.
Kufuneka iqatshelwe into yokuba uninzi lwabantu abatshatileyo bahlala bekhalaza: "Isithandwa sam asindivisi", "Umfazi wam akayivisisi into endiyithethayo" ... la ngamazwi aqhelekileyo apho le ngxaki icacileyo yokunxibelelana nokuqonda iyavela. Kodwa kukho into ekufuneka icacile, ukuze uyiqonde ayifuneki kuphela ukuba uyazi indlela yokumamela, kodwa nayo unomdla kwaye unakekele omnye.
3. Ilungelo lokonwaba
Bonke abantu banelungelo lokufumana ulonwabo kwezo zinto zisenza sonwabe. Ukuthanda umntu kwaye uzive uthandwa ngokungathandabuzekiyo yintsika esisiseko, kodwa ke kukwakho ezo zinto zisisiseko esingafanele sizithathe lula. Ukuba, umzekelo, neyethu indawo yakho, apho sinokuthi siqhubeke nokukhula buqu kunye nomsebenzi. Yiba nomsebenzi wakho, isangqa sabahlobo bakho, ukuba ukuzimela okungafanelekanga ukuba kuchasane nokugcina ubudlelwane.
Ulonwabo yakhiwa imihla ngemihla nakwizinto ezincinci. Uhambo oluya kwimiboniso bhanyabhanya nabahlobo, ukucwangcisa uhambo, ukuthenga incwadi, ukutya isidlo sangokuhlwa noogxa bakho… le yimilinganiselo yemihla ngemihla ekungafuneki ukuba siyincame. Ukuba izinto ezilula njengale azifunyanwa kakuhle liqabane lethu, kuya kuba yingxaki ukuyithatha. Kufuneka siphile ubomi obusivumela ukuba sincume yonke imihla.
4. Ukuzola kwakho noxolo lwakho lwangaphakathi
Mhlawumbi le ngxelo ngesiquphe ibonakala kuwe yinto egqithileyo. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha sinokugcina uhlobo lobudlelwane kunye neendleko eziphezulu zeemvakalelo, umzekelo. Ubudlelwane esifumana kubo ukubandezeleka okungaphezulu kunokuthula. Uthando olunetyhefu apho kufuneka sisoloko sibonisa uthando lwethu kunye nokuzithemba kwethu komnye umntu. Ubudlelwane apho ukungathembani kusenza sibandezeleke, apho sinqwenela ukuba singathandwa njengoko sinqwenela ... konke oku kusikhokelela kwimeko yoxinzelelo kunye nenkxalabo ngamanye amaxesha ekungafanelekanga ukuba igcinwe.
Kuya kufuneka sigcine ulungelelwaniso, sinqwenele ubudlelwane obuzinzileyo, ukongeza kulonwabo, obusinika ukuzola nokhuseleko. Ke musa ukuyeka le miba ibalulekileyo.
5. Musa ukuncama naluphi na ubudlelwane bakho ekuhlaleni
Okwangoku iqabane lakho lingakwamkeli okanye likuthintele ukuba ungabonani nabahlobo bakho, osebenza nabo okanye abo bantu babalulekileyo kuwe isondo sentlalo, bayakusahlula ehlabathini. Bayakunikezela kwisangqa esivaliweyo apho kungekudala okanye kamva uyakugcina uxinekile. Ukufuna asikokwakho okanye ukulawula. Uthando luyayazi nendlela yokunikeza inkululeko, kuba phantsi kwayo ukuthembela kuhlala kukhuliswa.
Akukho nto kwaye akukho mntu unokuphazamisa bonke abo bantu babalulekileyo kuwe: abahlobo okanye usapho. Kuba ziyinxalenye yesazisi sakho kwaye ungubani. Ikwangabo abavumela ukuba sigcine okwethu ukuzithemba, ukuzazisa kwethu. Ke musa ukuyeka abo ubathandayo kwiqabane lakho, kuba kungekudala okanye kamva iya kuba yindleko ephezulu kakhulu eya kukuzisela nto ngaphandle kokukhathazeka kunye nokungonwabi.
Ukuqukumbela, soloko ukhumbula ukuba ukugcina ubudlelwane kuhlala kufuna iinzame kwaye mhlawumbi kurhoxa emsebenzini. Kodwa kukho izinto ezisisiseko esingafanele siziyeke, ngakumbi ezo ziyinxalenye yethu kwaye ezakha impilo yethu yeemvakalelo. Ukuthanda umntu kukongeza kuyo yonke imiba, ungaze uthabathe. Ubudlelwane abusekelwanga ekuthobeleni, kodwa kwi uthando nentlonipho.