Gcina enye ubudlelwane obunempilo obuchaphazelekayo kwaye ihlala ixesha elide, ngumnqweno esinayo sonke. Siqinisekile ukuba ebomini bakho bonke uya kuba namava aliqela akubonise ukuba ukufumana loo mntu ulungileyo akusoze kube lula. Ubuntu obahlukeneyo kunye nomdla, iingxaki zonxibelelwano, ukuthembana ... zininzi izinto ezimisela impumelelo yesibini, kwaye uninzi lweendlela ezichaphazelekayo esinokuzifumana. Kuya kufuneka uyithathele ingqalelo le nto.
Ngamanye amaxesha sinokugcina uhlobo lolwalamano olungasebenziyo olunakho ukusithobisa kukungxola okubaluleke kakhulu ngokweemvakalelo. Uthando olunetyhefu apho ngaphandle kokuthanda umntu kakhulu, iindleko zinokuba phezulu kakhulu. Kwaye kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukucinga ukuba uthando sele lusilele ngokwalo, intsika exhasa kwaye isombulule yonke into. Kodwa ayifani naleyo, khumbula loo nto ayizizo zonke izindululo ezichaphazelekayo ezilungele intlalo-ntle yethu kunye nolonwabo. Ke, sikunika izixhobo ezisisiseko ukuze wazi ukuba ungazibona njani ezo thando, ngokulula, ayilungelanga impilo yakho.
Izitayile ezichaphazelekayo ezingayilungelanga impilo yethu yeemvakalelo
Ababhali bathanda UWalter Riso, iingcali zengqondo ezitshatileyo, sixelele ukuba xa sigcina ubudlelwane besibini, kubalulekile ukuba siqwalasele izinto ezintathu ezisisiseko:
- Ndithanda njani iqabane lam? - Yeyiphi indlela yam yokumthanda?
- Ndonwabe nyani ngulomntu? - Ngaba iyandonwabisa?
- Singaba kude kangakanani ngaphandle kokulimazana?
Ezi zembe zezona kufanele ukuba zisinike umkhondo wokuba ingaba ubudlelwane obunomdla esiyigcinayo iyingozi kakhulu okanye hayi. Zininzi izibini ezithi, nokuba zisazi ukuba zizisa ukubandezeleka ngakumbi kunokonwaba, ziyaqhubeka nokuncamathelana. Baqhubeka nokugcina umanyano ngaphezulu kwexesha eliya kuthi ekugqibeleni liphele lenze umonakalo wokwenene ngokwasemoyeni nangokweemvakalelo.
Kubalulekile ke ngoko ukwazi ukuba ungaziqonda njani iipateni ze Uthando oluyingozi kakhulu. Yiba nesalathiso ngokubhekisele kuhlobo lobuntu baba bantu, apho, ukuvavanya ukuba sifuna ukubandakanyeka ngendlela esondeleyo okanye hayi. Kucacile ukuba akusoloko "sinokukhetha ukuba ngubani esithandana naye kwaye ngubani esingathandani naye", kodwa khumbula ukuba ungawela kumdlalo oyingozi kakhulu ngolu hlobo lweeprofayili ezinobungozi. Ke masibone ukuba yintoni Izitayile ezichaphazelekayo zezona ziyingozi:
1. Uhlobo lweMbali / yeQonga: Ukuhlukumeza uthando
Kulula ukuzichonga. Aba bantu bahlala bejonga ube kwindawo ephambili nokuba ngamaqabane abo okanye nabanye abantu ababangqongileyo. Batyekele ekujongeni kubo ngokwabo zonke iimfuno ngaphandle kokuthathela ingqalelo abo babatshatileyo, bahlala bebonisa umfanekiso ukuba bafuna ngaphezulu, abangonelisekanga koko kunikwayo. Banamandla, abanini, kwaye kwangaxeshanye banike umfanekiso wexhoba elithile.
2. IParanoid / Uhlobo oluphaphileyo: Uthando olungathembekanga
Ingathi bahlala "notshaba." Abaze bathembe oko kuthethwayo kubo, okanye oko kuboniswa kubo. Bayakuhlala befumana into abanokuziva ngayo. Bangabantu abathi abayazi indlela yokuzisa uthando kwaye, kwangaxeshanye, abazi ukuba bangayifumana njani kuba becinga ukuba bazakungcatshwa okanye abathandwa ngokwaneleyo. Ziyathandwa ngexabiso eliphezulu leemvakalelo.
3. Uhlobo lokungahambi kakuhle / lobundlongondlongo: Uthando lokubhukuqa
Bazalwa njengabaphangi. Yonke into oyenzela bona ayisoze yanele, njengoko bejonge ngamehlo abalulekileyo ukuthandwa "ngendlela yabo." Oku kukwabonisa ukuba bayazidinga inkululeko ethile ukuze ungaziva ngathi "ubotshiwe", into entsonkothileyo ekwaziyo ukunxiba isibini. Bafuna ukuthandwa ngelixa besala loo miboniso yothando kwicala lesibini, kuba baziva behlukumezekile yile ubudlelwane.
4: Isitayile seNarcissistic / ye-Egocentric: Uthando lokuzingca
Ngokuqinisekileyo uyasazi esi sitayile sichaphazelekayo. Luhlobo lwabantu abasoloko bezicingela bodwa, ukuziphakamisa, ukuzingca nokuzicingela bodwa… abamameli okanye abazi ukuba babone njani. iimfuno zesi sibiniBa-narcissistic kwaye abayamkeli nakuphi na ukugxekwa. Bazithanda kakhulu ezonakalisayo.
5: Ukujonga / Ukunyanzela isitayile: Uthando lokugqibelela
Akhonto uyenzayo izokwanela yena. Zizitayile ezichaseneyo ezingonelisekiyo, ezinombono wazo wezinto kwaye zilindele ukuba yonke into ihambe ijikeleze indalo iphela izele kukugqibelela. Imizamo yakho yokumanelisa ayinaxabiso, ubudlelwane buya ngokuthe ngcembe buqine kwaye buzele ziindleko zeemvakalelo zakho. Kananjalo bahlala bengabantu abathanda ukuthoba abanye, ukujongela phantsi ... kwaye oku kunokuba yingozi kakhulu kubo ukuzithemba kwethu.
6. Uhlobo lweSchizoid / lweHermit: Uthando oluhlukanisiweyo okanye olungenamdla.
Olu hlobo lwesitayile lufuna ukuzibandakanya kwabanye abantu ukwahlulwa ngokweemvakalelo. Bubuhlobo obonakalisayo kuba akukho kutshintshiselana, ukuphindaphinda uthando okanye ukubonakalisa uthando. Kuyakuhlala kukho elinye lamalungu esi sibini lixhoba, lowo uzabalazela ukunika yonke into ngaphandle kokufumana nantoni na. Zizinto zothando ezingondliyo, ezizithethelela kwimfuno yokuzimela nokuzimela, kwilungelo lemfihlo. Kodwa enyanisweni, into abayenzayo aba bantu kukwakha iindonga ezibathintelayo ukuba bangathandwa. Kwaye okubi kakhulu, kubangela ukonakala kunye nokunxiba okukhulu kwengqondo. Kufuneka silumke.
Njengoko ubona, zininzi iintlobo zeepateni ezichaphazelekayo ezinokusenza siwele kubudlelwane obunetyhefu. Kodwa akunyanzelekanga ukuba ube yingcali kwezonyango lwezengqondo ukuze ukwazi ukuzikhathalela. Ukuzibuza kumzuzu othile ukuba sonwabile ngokwenene nolwalamano esinalo. Impendulo oyinika yona kufanele ukuba ibe sisalathiso esaneleyo sokwenza isigqibo okanye esinye. Kuba khumbula: nokanye zonke izindululo ezichaphazelekayo zilungele impilo-ntle yethu.