Zininzi iingxaki ezinokwenza ubudlelwane buphele. Ngokwedatha yeenkcukacha-manani, oonobangela abaziintloko bahlala bekho inkohliso, ukungcatsha nomona. Kodwa inyani kukuba phantsi kwale milinganiselo kusoloko kukho ukunqongophala konxibelelwano, isonyulo kunye nokusilela kothando okunokwenzeka xa singakulawuli ngokufanelekileyo ukwahluka kwethu. Ukugcina ukuzibophelela kwethu kuhlala kufuna umzamo wemihla ngemihla, siyayazi loo nto, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha iindleko zoku zingaphakama kakhulu.
Baninzi abantu abathi, umzekelo, bazinikezele ngokuzincama okukhulu kunye neemvakalelo ukugcina iqabane labo ecaleni kwabo. Ezi ziimeko apho siqala ukunikela ngaphezulu kokudingekayo, apho sigcina amagama kunye neemfuno zethu kuthi ukuze singalahleki enye ... konke oku kuya kusidinisa. ukuzithemba kwethu kunye nokulinganisela kwethu. Konke ngenxa yokoyika ukuphulukana nomntu omthandayo. Ukusibona sodwa. Kodwa khumbula, ayisiyonto ilungileyo ukuyenza. Kuhlala kulungile ukwazi ukuba ungaziqonda njani ezo zikhombisi zokulumkisa ukuba ubudlelwane abuqhubeki. Yonke imizamo ayisizisi nto ngaphandle kokubandezeleka kunye nokudana. Siyakucacisela.
Ndazi njani ukuba ubudlelwane bam busemngciphekweni?
Ngokucacileyo awuyidingi imvakalelo yesithandathu ukuyazi ngokulula loo nto asisavuyi. Okanye ukuba asifumani yonke into esiyifunayo kwaye ibalulekile kubudlelwane: uthando, ingqalelo, intlonipho ... Kodwa kukho ezinye izembe ezisisiseko ekufuneka sinikele ingqalelo kuzo ngenxa yezizathu ezibini. Okokuqala, ukuqonda ukuba kukho into esilelayo kwaye yintoni ekufuneka sizame ukuyiphucula. Okwesibini, ukuvavanya ukuba, ngaba unikwe ezi meko, kufanelekile okanye ungaqhubeki ugcina ubudlelwane bethu.
Konke oku kuyakufuneka uzixabise. Kodwa okokuqala kufuneka yiba sengqiqweni kwaye ungayongezi imeko enokubangela iindleko ezinkulu zeemvakalelo, ukubandezeleka okukhulu. Qaphela:
1. Ukungabikho komdla kwiiprojekthi ezizayo
Isibini esomeleleyo nesonwabileyo, bayazibophelela kwiprojekthi efanayo. Kwizicwangciso zexesha elizayo, kokubini kwixesha eliphakathi nelide. Asithethi kuphela ngombono weprojekthi yosapho: indlu, abantwana ... Ayisiyiyo le nto kuphela. Iiprojekthi zexesha elizayo zikwizicwangciso zemihla ngemihla: ukulungiselela uhambo, ukuphuma, nawuphina umsebenzi wempelaveki ... Kulapho ubhalisa inkohliso yokwenza izinto kunye. Ukuba sisibini kunye nokuveza izinto eziqhelekileyo.
Ukuba kuza ixesha xa uyeka ukucwangcisa, xa uziva ukuba inkohliso ayisekho, zibuze ukuba kutheni isenzeka. Ngamanye amaxesha akubangelwa kukungabikho komdla, kodwa kukungabikho kwexesha kunye nokungakwazi ukubeka izinto eziphambili. Yinto ekufuneka ixoxwe ngokufanayo kwaye kufuneka kubekho utshintsho. Kodwa ukuba akukho myolelo kwaye ufumana izizathu ... yenza enye uvavanyo lwenjongo malunga nokuba kufanelekile ukugcina olo lwalamano.
2. Unxibelelwano
Inxibelelana njani mva nje? Kubudlelwane obuphilileyo, unxibelelwano luyintsika ebalulekileyo. Sinomdla wokwazi ngomnye, ukubakhonza nokumamela. Sijonge emehlweni, nge uvelwano kunye nokuvuleka ... Ukuba uqaphela ukuba iqabane lakho alisaphulaphuli kumazwi akho, okanye ngokulula, unxibelelwano lusekwe ikakhulu kwingxoxo kunakwingxoxo eyakhayo, ke unesinye isikhombisi ekufuneka usinakile.
Ngamanye amaxesha xa sinengxaki nomntu esimthandayo, unxibelelwano luba nzima. Iimvakalelo zisitshisile: uloyiko lokuphulukana nalo, umsindo, ukudideka ... Kufuneka sizame ukuzola kwaye singahlaseli. Yazi indlela yokuphulaphula kwaye ubeke iingcinga zethu kunye neemfuno ngokuvakalayo ngendlela yokuqinisekisa.
Kodwa ukuba uqaphele ukuba kunye nokusilela konxibelelwano, kukho ukungaqondani kunye nokusilela okucacileyo komnqweno wokujongana nale meko, lixesha lokuba uthathe isigqibo.
3. Ukungabikho kwengxaki
Ubunzima bubukhulu obukhulu apho iimeko ezininzi zibhalwe khona. Ubunzima ukusondelelana phakathi kwabantu ababini, apho kunikwa khona iimpawu zothando nothando. Kukuzibophelela nakokunye, uhlala umenzela okona kulungileyo kwaye umbeka phambi kwezinto ezininzi.
Ubunzima bukwabonakaliswa kolo lwazi sinalo lomnye: siyayazi into emhlekisayo, into ayithandayo, yintoni emenza buhlungu. Siyayazi indlela yokufunda uninzi lweengcinga zakho kunye neminqweno ebusweni bakho. Ngaba Isivumelwano phakathi kwabantu ababini kwaye esi sibini sakha imihla ngemihla. Ukuba ezi zinto ziyayeka ukwenzeka, ngokuqinisekileyo siya kuqala ukuziva silusizi kwaye siphelelwe lithemba. Kungenxa yokuba asisaziboni ezo ziboniso zemihla ngemihla zothando novelwano. Kwaye le yinto yethu yokuqala esiqala ukuyibona xa ubudlelwane bungahambi kakuhle.
Ukuba siphawula ukuba omnye umntu uphelelwe ngumdla kwizinto ezithile, kuya kufuneka sive ukuba kutheni. Mhlawumbi kukho ingxaki yokuthetha ngayo. Inxalenye yokusombulula. Ukuba emva kokuba siyenzile, sityalile imali, ixesha kunye neemvakalelo, asifumani nto ngaphandle kwe umgama kunye neqela, kuya kufuneka sisabele ngokunjalo.
Siyazi ukuba akukho lula. Ukuqonda ukuba ubudlelwane bethu abukho kumkhondo olungileyo yinto esiyibona kwangoko kwimpilo yethu. Amathandabuzo, uloyiko, amaxhala avela ... Yonke imizamo yokufikelela kwisisombululo kunye nokugcina ubudlelwane buqhubeka iya kuba kufanelekile. okoko nje omabini amaqela ezabalazela oko. Kodwa ukuba ukuzinikela kunye nokuzincama kuvela kuphela kwelinye icala hayi kwelinye, kufuneka sibe nenjongo. Ngamanye amaxesha eyona nto intle iya kuba "kukuyekela." Ukuyeka umntu osibangela ukubandezeleka ngakumbi kunokonwaba. Intlalo-ntle yakho yobuqu neemvakalelo iza kuqala.