"Othandweni ngifuna amaphiko angivumela ukuthi ngikhule njengomuntu, kanye nezimpande zokuqinisekisa ubuhlobo bami nomlingani wami." Siyaqiniseka ukuthi sonke silangazelela ukufinyelela lobukhulu obufanayo. Ziyizidingo ezibalulekile empeleni ezihlanganisa ifayela le- ukukhula komuntu siqu, kanye nokuzibophezela okwakhiwe ngamalungu womabili.
Siyazi ukuthi akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi ukufeza lokhu. Ukuhlonipha izidingo zomuntu siqu, ukuzivumelanisa kanye nalowo msebenzi obalulekile owenziwe phakathi kwezithandani, kucabanga ukuthi ukuhlanganisa "okungokwami (okwami), nokwethu (nobudlelwano)." Kwesinye isikhathi kuyinselelo, futhi kwesinye isikhathi, kungani ungakuphiki, kusho nokuthi kufanele ukwenze noma ikuphi ukuyekelela. Hablemos hoy sobre ello en Bezzia, estamos seguros de que te va a interesar.
1. Owakho nowami. Okwethu
Kunabantu abaningi abaqala ubudlelwano benikela ngakho konke. Asigcini ngokunikela ngothando lwethu, ukuzibophezela kwethu ngokomzwelo nangokomuntu siqu, kwesinye isikhathi size siyeke nokuzethemba kwethu.
Kungakumangaza, kepha kulezi zinsuku kuvame kakhulu ukuthi kube nezimo lapho ukucwaninga kwengqondo okudumile kuvame ukukuhlukanisa "I-Wendy syndrome":
- Beka izifiso nezidingo zombhangqwana ngaphambi kwezethu.
- Dlala indima ka "Umnakekeli womthandi womama", lapho kubhekelelwa zonke izici zempilo yethu yezithandani.
- Lokhu kuzinikela, lokhu kunakekelwa kusetshenziswa enkululekweni ngoba yileyo ndlela abanye besifazane abaluqonda ngayo uthando. Kodwa-ke, kungekudala ukukhungatheka nokungakwazi ukuzisiza ukubona ukuthi ukuzinikela kwabo akubonwa. Futhi nokuningi. Ukuzethemba kwabo kubuthakathaka kangangoba abakwazi ukuthola indlela yokuphuma kulesi simo.
Kufanele siqaphele ukuthi singaweli kulolu hlobo lokuziphatha. Ukunxephezela ubukhulu bomuntu ngamunye ngesifuba esabiwe sabashadikazi akudingi kuphela ukuxoxisana nezivumelwano, futhi kudinga "ukuqwashisa" okucacile ngakithi.
- Okwakho nokwami akudingeki kuhambe ngokwehlukana ngokweqile. Uma nginomsebenzi wami akusho ukuthi ngifuna ukuchitha isikhathi esincane nami. Umsebenzi wami, engikuthandayo, abangane bami bachaza ukuthi ngingubani. Futhi engiyikho yilokhu engikunikeza ngakho ngobuqotho bami nangothando lwami lonke.
- Esami isikhala sami, esingikhomba. Kodwa-ke, umlingani wami naye uhlanganisiwe kulelo bhanoyi lami. Manje, ukuvumelanisa lezi zikhala ezimbili ngidinga inhlonipho, futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke, ukwethemba.
2. Uthando olungena okunamathiselwe okunginikeza izimpiko, kanye nezimpande zomuntu siqu
Siyaqiniseka ukuthi usuzwile ngaleli gama "Okunamathiselwe" ezihlobene nezibopho ezingokomzwelo. Eqinisweni, leli gama liqukethe okuthile okuyinkimbinkimbi kwabaningi:
Ngingahlala kanjani ngizizwe nginamathele kumuntu engimthandayo?
Yebo, inezincazelo eziningi ezibaluleke kakhulu okufanele zicaciswe:
- Sonke sidinga okunamathiselwe okuthile ukuze sizizwe siphephile, sithandwa, futhi sivikelekile. Izingane zidinga ukuqinisa isibopho nabazali bazo ngokwakha okunamathiselwe okunempilo. Nomaphi lapho kukhona ukwesekwa hhayi ukulawula noma ukuvikela ngokweqile Qhubeka.
- Ezingeni lezithandani, kwenzeka into efanayo. Isikhathi lapho sithanda othile sizizwa simunye nalowo muntu, umhlaba wakhe, amasiko abo, ukuhleka kwakhe nobuntu bakhe. Zonke lezi yizibonelo ezicacile ze- "Okunamathiselwe okunempilo."
- Okunamathiselwe lapho kufanele sibalekele khona empeleni yilolo thando oludingeka ngokweqile, olungavumeli izikhala, futhi oludida ukufuna umona nokulawula.
- Noma ngubani osilawula kakhulu, osondelene kakhulu nathi emhlabeni wabo kanye nemikhombandlela yawo nezimpumputhe kudingeka ukuthi abe "nathi", akasasithandi. Ngoba uthando alunakho ukuthintana noma ukuthanda okungaqondakali.
- Uthando lunikelwa ngenkululeko, ngiyazinikela kuwe "njengomuntu ophelele" ukwakha impilo nawe. Masingalenzi iphutha lokufuna okwami "uhhafu wewolintshi", ngoba abantu ababili uhhafu abakhi ngaso sonke isikhathi umuntu ophelele.
- Ingxenye yabantu inakho akunalutho Balindele ukuthi sibaphelelise, futhi into efana naleyo igcina isisilimazile emoyeni.
3. Yakha uthando olwaziyo
Sisho ukuthini ngothando olwaziyo, ukuthi asisathandani ngale ndlela? Iqiniso ukuthi akuhlali njalo. Thatha isibonelo uthando lwezithandani, isibonelo esicacile sothando "olungazi lutho":
- Ukucabanga ukuthi uthando luhlala njalo, nokuthi sonke sinalo "uhhafu ongcono" omuhle kithi.
- Phambanisa uthando no isifiso. Ukucabanga ukuthi okwamanje lolo thando lweminyaka yokuqala luyanyamalala, uthando luyeka ukuba ngokoqobo.
- Kholwa ukuthi umona ukubonakaliswa okuphezulu kothando, isibonisi sangempela sesifiso nokutholwa komlingani ngokungathi yinto.
Kumele siziqaphele lezi zinkolelo, futhi sisebenzise lokho izazi zengqondo eziningi zobudlelwano ezikubizayo "Uthando oluqaphelayo". Qaphela kahle lokhu okushiwo yile nkulumo ehlakaniphile:
- Kuwukuzinikela komunye umuntu ku libertad, ukuba phambi kwabantu abazi ukuphatha imizwa yabo, abangasabi isizungu, nabakhetha ukwakha impilo efana nabanye abantu, ukucebisa ubukhona babo.
- Abazi nje kuphela izidingo zabo, kodwa futhi nezabalingani babo. Bayazi ukuthi badinga ukuthuthukisa izinto abazithandayo, baqhubeke nokukhula ngokomsebenzi, babe nabangane abafanayo, bajabulele izindawo zabo ...
- Futhi konke lokhu kwakhiwa ngokuthembana, inhlonipho, nangokuxhumana okuhle kakhulu.
Othandweni, sonke sifuna amaphiko okundiza ngawodwana, ukukhuthaza ukukhula kwethu komuntu siqu. Kodwa-ke, nathi sifuna i ukhula lwenkohlakalo egcwele yomuntu esimthandayo, futhi ngalokhu sidinga ukondla lezo zimpande nsuku zonke ngothando oluqotho, nangenhlonipho.