Uthando lwangaphambili luyingxenye yomjikelezo wethu othintekayo, futhi ngandlela thile, bachaza nengxenye yalokhu esiyikho manje. Uma sikuqonda impilo njengokufunda okuqhubekayo, asikwazi ukunganaki ukuthi noma yibuphi ubudlelwano obushiywe noma obonakele buyisigaba esisodwa sokuhlanganisa inqubo yethu yokuvuthwa.
Manje, uma kukhona into eyodwa sonke esiyaziyo, ukuthi kunabantu abaningi abafuna ukukhohlwa ngokuphelele lobo budlelwano besikhathi esedlule. Kungenxa yokuthi kubabangele ukuhlupheka okukhulu, noma ngoba basabambe igqubu. Kodwa-ke, nazo ziyizinqubo ezikufanele ukuthola uhlobo oluthile lokufundisa. Uthando lwangaphambilini Bangakucacisa, kepha bangakunqumi. Hablemos hoy en Bezzia ngale ndaba
Uthando lwangaphambilini olusaphila esikhathini sethu
Sonke sinobudlelwano obuhle hhayi obuhle kangako. Kukhona uthando olubuhlungu okufanele lukhunjulwe nezinye esizidedelayo ngoba bekudingeka ibhalansi yethu, ukuze siphile kahle. Singasho ngaphandle kwephutha ukuthi konke okuhlangenwe nakho okuphilayo kwakha okwethu manje nendlela oxhumana ngayo nawe manje, kanye nomongo wakho osondele kakhulu.
Uma kukhulunywa ngobudlelwano obuthintekayo, kusobala ukuthi sikhuluma ngemizwa, futhi yibo, ngandlela thile, abakhipha amandla amakhulu kithi, futhi ngokujwayelekile, kumuntu. Imizwelo engemihle etholwe ngamandla, isibonelo, futhi ukungaphathwa kahle kungaholela ekucindezelekeni.
Uzakwethu onobuthi futhi oxhaphazayo angaqumba phansi ukuzethemba kwethu nobuqotho bethu, yingakho, kwesinye isikhathi, kuyadingeka ukubhekana kahle nanoma ikuphi ukwahlukana, ukuze ihlanganiswe nenqubo yethu yokuphila ngendlela evumelanayo, ngaphandle kokuzimisela.
Uma sibhekisa eqinisweni lokuthi uthando lwangaphambilini luyasichaza, sisho ukuthi bonke ubudlelwano busenza sihlakaniphe kancane, sifaneleke futhi siqaphe kakhulu ezindabeni ezingokomzwelo. Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukuthi ucabangele lolu chungechunge lobukhulu.
1. Qonda, wamukele futhi udedele
Akukhona ngokukhohlwa uthando lwangaphambilini, kepha kungukuqonda inqubo, yamukela umphumela bese udedela. Akekho umuntu ongakhohlwa izinsuku zakhe zakudala, okwamanje asikho isidakamizwa esikahle esinikeza i-amnesia ekhethiwe, ngoba empeleni, ukuphila ngokuyisisekelo kusho ukufunda ezintweni ezinhle hhayi ezintweni ezinhle kangako.
- Lapho kwephulwa ubudlelwano, kufanele kube khona kungani. Sonke kudingeka sazi izimbangela futhi sivalelise ubuso nobuso nangesibindi.
- Ukuthola incazelo, ukuvalelisa noma ukuxolisa mathupha, kusiza ukuvala imijikelezo nokuqhubekela phambili ngobuqotho obukhulu. Ukungazi kusimisa ngamathemba amanga abhubhisayo.
- Uthando lwangaphambili luzohlanganiswa kangcono kwimemori yethu nasekulinganiseni kwethu ngokomzwelo, uma kunikezwa ukuvalelisa okunesibindi nokufanele. Indlu engenamuntu noma umyalezo olula omemezela ukwahlukana kudala intukuthelo nokukhungatheka.
- Kuyadingeka ukuqonda ukuthi yini ebangele leli khefu, wamukele ukuhlukaniswa ngemuva kwempi futhi ekugcineni, ukudedela izingqondo zethu bonke ubuhlungu, wonke amarandi.
2. Isidingo sokungazondi ukuqhubekela phambili ngobuqotho
Kukhona labo okuthi yize sebesebenzise iminyaka emi-2, emihlanu noma eyishumi, baqhubeke nokukhumbula uthando lwabo lwangaphambilini ngentukuthelo, inzondo nokukhungatheka. Lokhu akulungile futhi akunampilo.
- Njengoba besho, okwenza ucasuke kukwenza ube yisiboshwa. Futhi intukuthelo igcinwe isikhathi eside, iyaqhubeka nokwakha isibopho naloyo muntu.
- Ungakuvumeli, ukuzonda kudala kuphela imizwa emibi nokungathembani ebusweni bozakwethu abasha abavela empilweni yakho.
- Uyacaca ukuthi ngeke ukwazi ukubakhohlwa, kodwa okungenani, Qiniseka ukuthi inkumbulo ayihambisani nemizwa engemihle. Thatha njengesikhathi esedlule, isahluko esivaliwe lapho ufunde khona izifundo ezithile.
- Futhi yilokho okuzokuchaza: okutholile kulolo budlelwano
Ukuqapha kakhulu, ukunganikeli konke mahhala, hhayi ukubeka phambili umlingani ngaphezu kwazo zonke izinto, ngisho nangaphezu kokukhula kwakho nokuzethemba kwakho.
3. Awusona isamba sabalingani bakho bakudala
Kukhona labo abaphila isikhathi sabo samanje esimakwe ngamanxeba angokomzwelo angapheli abangelwa yilabo abathanda okwedlule:
- Sizizwa singathembi, futhi sikuthola kunzima ukuvula imizwa yethu kwabanye abantu ngokwesaba ukuthi bazosilimaza.
- Sihlushwa ukuzethemba okuphansi nokuzethemba okusenza sizibone njengabantu "abangakulungeli ukujabula njengezithandani."
- Futhi kujwayelekile nokuzwa ukuthi kungcono ukungathandani, ngoba ngandlela thile, sihlobanisa uthando nokuhlupheka. Konke kususelwe ebudlelwaneni obudabukisayo obudlule
Kumele wazi ukuthi kubalulekile ukuzinikela kwabanye abantu ngaphandle kwawo wonke umthwalo okhona owuthwele emhlane wakho. Indlela owamukela ngayo okwedlule idalula okwamanje. Ngakho-ke ukubaluleka kokuphatha kahle noma yikuphi ukuphuka.
Ubudlelwano bakho bangaphambilini abukunqumi, buchaza wena ngokwamakhono owatholile:
- Uhlakaniphe kakhulu futhi uthole ulwazi olwanele lokuzazi.
- Manje uyazi ukuthi yini oyidingayo nokuthi yini engakulungele.
- Ufundile ukuthi kubalulekile ukuthi unakekele ubuqotho bakho njalo, ukukhula kwakho kwangaphakathi, izikhala zakho. Akukhona ukunikela konke mahhala.
Uyazi ukuthi ubudlelwano bususelwa ekuqondeni, inhlonipho, ukuxhumana, kanye nokukhohlisa kwansuku zonke okudla izinto ezincane. Ungazivumeli ukuba ube yisiboshwa sesikhathi esedlule, awukona ukwehluleka kwakho, ungazondli nge-nostalgia, futhi uphile ngokuqina lapha namanje. Uthando olufanele impela.