Ngamanye amaxesha isiqhelo siba njalo "indawo yokuthuthuzela" apho isibini sihlala khona yonke imihla, siphulukana nomdla kunye neemvakalelo phantse ngaphandle kokuyiqonda. Siyazazi zonke iimpawu kunye nentetho yomnye, ubuhle bakhe kunye ne-manias yabo, siye salala naye amaxesha amaninzi, siyazi nokuba uza kuziphatha njani kwizinto ezithile. Ke ngoku ukukhohlisa kunye nokuzenzekelayo ngoku?
Rhoqo inokubadina abantu ababini. Umlingane wethu akayona isofa apho ukuziva ukhululekile kuphela kufanelekile. Akufanelekanga kuphela oko siziva kamnandi nomnye umntu. Ukuba nobudlelwane obusemgangathweni akufuneki sithathe izinto ngokungakhathali, okanye sicinge ukuba omnye umntu uya kuhlala ekhona engakhange afumane mbuyekezo. Ukuba sisibini kufuna ukhathalelo, uhoyo kunye nokubetha okungapheliyo. Kwaye nobabini ninoxanduva lwayo. Masibone.
Wazi njani ukuba siwele kulungelelwaniso?
Okokuqala, kufuneka sicace kwinto enye. Isiqhelo sinenxalenye ebalulekileyo, sisalathiso sokuba kukho uzinzo kwesi sibini. Isinika ukhuseleko kunye nokuzithemba kulwalamano olwenzileyo kunye nomnye umntu. Ngoku, amasiko emihla ngemihla anokusenza siwele kwimonotony kunye nemvakalelo yokuba siphulukene nento, ukuba asisaziva ubunzima kunye nokuzenzekela kwangaphambili. Imilinganiselo ekufuneka ithathelwe ingqalelo iya kuba yile ilandelayo:
- Abasetyhini ngabona bantu banokuziva beqhelekile: Ingqondo yethu inovakalelo ngakumbi kwaye inovakalelo ngakumbi kuvavanyo lweenkcukacha kunye nemiba, umzekelo, abangayiboniyo okanye abangayikhathaleliyo. Kuqhelekile kuthi ukuba ngabokuqala ukuziva izikhombisi zesiqhelo, kwaye mhlawumbi siqonde ukukruquka kwethu kunye neqabane lethu kubomi bemihla ngemihla apho kancinci kancinci, inkohliso.
- Unxibelelwano oluncinci: uxanduva lwethu lwemihla ngemihla lusinika isikhokelo kuthi yonke imini. Siyaphuma sibuye ngexesha elifanayo, senza izinto ezifanayo ... kancinci kancinci indlela yokunxibelelana notshintsho lweqabane lethu. Ngamanye amaxesha asinalo ixesha lokuthetha, okanye ngokulula, iincoko zijolise kwimiba enxulumene nesiqhelo sethu, nokuba kungumsebenzi, imicimbi yendlu, abantwana ... Ngaphandle kokuyiqonda, siyaphulukana noko ubunzima kunxibelelwano kunye neqabane lethu, amaxesha apho singathetha ngobudlelwane bomntu kunye nemiba esondeleyo okanye yobuqu.
- Ukungabikho kwenkuthazo: enye into ebalulekileyo. Iziphumo zesiqhelo kwesi sibini zinokufikelela kwikota eyingozi kakhulu apho omnye kwaba babini ephela elahlekelwa yinjongo. Iya kuba ngamathuba apho unokuzibuza khona a "Kwaye yintoni?" (Kutheni ndizokuyilungisa ukuba akazukundibona? Kutheni ndizombuza ukuba ndiyayazi into azakuyithetha? »). Olu hlobo lwesimo sengqondo aluyongozi nje kuphela, kodwa lunokusenza ukuba siwele kwimpazamo. Akufuneki sithathe izinto ngokungakhathali okanye sizenzele izigqibo. Ukuba sibonisa ukungakhathali kunye nokuzithoba, omnye umntu ngokuqinisekileyo uyakuyiqonda kwaye aphele naye evakalelwa ngokufanayo. Kancinci kancinci sinokuwela kwisangqa esikhohlakeleyo apho esiqhelo sikhokelela kukungakhathali, kunye nokungakhathali, ukuya kude.
Iindlela zokubetha isiqhelo
Ukusukela kwisikolo seGestalt kuthiwa "Yonke ingaphezulu kwesibalo samalungu". Kwaye oku sinokukusebenzisa ngokugqibeleleyo kwesi sibini. Ayisiyonto nje yokuba "mna nawe", iyila qela linye lenziwe ngamava afanayo kunye neeprojekthi ezifanayo. Isiqhelo sihlala sifika xa ubuqu buqala ukuxabiswa ngaphezu kwesibophelelo esisekwe kwenye. Ke ujongana njani nale meko?
- Guqula isimo sengqondo: linyathelo lokuqala kwaye kunyanzelekile ukuba omabini amalungu esi sibini abandakanyeke. Ukuze kubekho utshintsho, kufuneka kuqala sikholelwe kulo kwaye silulangazelele. Kuya kufuneka siphelise iimbono ezingachazwanga ngaphambili: kutheni ndizakuzilungisa ukuba akazukundibona? Kutheni le nto ndiza kuphakamisa oku ukuba asinakuba nalo ixesha? Khangela iimvakalelo zakho, khumbula ukuba kutheni umthanda umlingane wakho kunye nokuba uthetha kangakanani kuwe. Inkuthazo yokonwaba kufuneka ibe yeyona njini iphambili yotshintsho.
- Fumana ixesha lokuncokolaKuqhelekile ukuba izibini zilinde kude kube ngumzuzu wokugqibela wokunxibelelana. Kwaye le ndawo iphantse yahlala ingumbhede. Akulunganga ukuba esi sithuba sihlala sinxulunyaniswa nothando, similiselwe ngoxinzelelo okanye ukungakhathali. Kungcono ukuba sikhethe indawo eyahlukileyo, indawo entsha. Dibana neqabane lakho kwindawo yokutyela, okanye udibane naye emva kwemini xa uhamba epakini. Kuhle ukuqala ukwenza utshintsho kwaye singaqala ukusuka apha.
- Ucwangciso aluvumelekanga: vumela ukuphuculwa kokuvela ebomini bakho. Xa kufika iveki, yenza nantoni na efika kuqala engqondweni. Gwema iindlela eziqhelekileyo zokuya kuthengwa ngeentsuku ezifanayo, ukuya kudla isidlo sangokuhlwa okanye ukuya kwimiboniso bhanyabhanya kwangolo suku lunye lweveki ... Ixabiso lokungxama kangangoko kunokwenzeka.
- Ziqhelanise imisebenzi emitsha kunye: Kuya kufuneka siqale ukukhangela eyokuqala kwaye sabelane ngayo nomntu esimthandayo. Khetha impelaveki ukuze ubaleke kwaye usebenzise imidlalo ye-adventure, umzekelo. Into eya kuphakamisa i-adrenaline yakho. Ukuziva iimvakalelo ezintsha ngendalo okanye kwezemidlalo kuya kusinceda ukuba sihlaziye ubudlelwane kunye neemvakalelo.
- Ubuchule ebhedini: Eli nqaku libalulekile kulwalamano lwababini. Ngamanye amaxesha kwanele ukucebisa utshintsho. Mhlawumbi into yokudlala ngesondo, iimpahla zangaphantsi ezintsha, ukuma okutsha, iseto esitsha ... zininzi izinto onokukhetha kuzo, kunye unokufumana amava ahlukeneyo onokuthi ubaleke kuwo.
Ke kwaye ukugqiba, kwanele ukukuxelela ukuba eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba unganikezeli. Isiqhelo sinenxalenye efanelekileyo, sinika ukhuseleko kunye nokuzibophelela. Kodwa xa inkqubo yesiqhelo iba yinto eyodwa, kufuneka sisabele. Ngamanye amaxesha iinkcukacha ezincinci zanele, uncumo, i-caress, isindululo… Yonke imizamo iya kulunga.