Ngaba uyakwazi ukunganyaniseki ngokweemvakalelo?

Ndithini na?

Sonke siyazi ukuba yintoni na ukungathembeki. Ngokuqhelekileyo siyinxulumanisa naloo nkohliso apho kuhlala kukho a ukungcatshwa ngokwasemzimbeni, apho iqabane lethu lixoka ngathi ngokuba nolwalamano nomnye umntu ngokufihlakeleyo. Kodwa kukho olunye uhlobo lokungathembeki olufihlakeleyo kwaye kunzima ukuyiqonda, apho uxhulumaniso olukhethekileyo lusekwe nomntu. Unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo apho kungekho ngquzulwano okanye ukudibana ngokwasemzimbeni. Kukho abo bangakugqali njengokungcatsha ngolo hlobo, kodwa inyaniso isixelela ukuba kunokuba buhlungu okanye kube buhlungu ngaphezu kokungathembeki ngokwasemzimbeni.

Loo mhlobo usuka emsebenzini esibelana naye ngeemfihlo, lowo sibhala naye rhoqo imiyalezo okanye sibonakalisa ukuncwasa okumsulwa ... asikwazi ukukhohlisa amaqabane ethu, nangona kunjalo, kusekukungathembeki esikusungule kuko. uluhlu lweemvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo ukuba, kunokwenzeka, singabonisi kunye noogxa bethu. Zilunxibelelwano olunzulu apho ukwangiwa okanye umzuzu womqamelo awuyomfuneko ukuphuhlisa uhlobo lobudlelwane obunxuseneyo. Yi ubuhlobo okanye yinto eyenye? Sicacisa uthotho lwemilinganiselo eya kusinceda siwuqonde ngcono lo mbandela unzima.

Ngaba ungumqhathi ngokweemvakalelo?

infidelidad emocional pareja bezzia

Ngokophononongo olwenziwe yiYunivesithi yaseChicago kunye neHuffington Post, uninzi lwamadoda nabasetyhini bacinga ukuba ukungathembeki ngokweemvakalelo kukwayindlela ukukopela iqabane lakho. Nangona kunjalo, kwaye nantsi i-paradox yokwenyani, abantu abanalo uluvo olufanayo xa bebandakanyeka. Kutheni kusenzeka oku? Inyaniso kukuba sivame ukuzigweba ngezenzo zethu, ngelixa sigweba abanye ngeenjongo zabo: "Andizange ndithengise iqabane lam ngokwasemzimbeni, ngoko ke, akuzange kubekho ukungathembeki. Kodwa mhlawumbi, nokuba akazange ayenze, wayeyifuna. "

Njengoko sibona, yintsimi apho iimvakalelo ezininzi kunye nobunzima bunokudityaniswa kwihlabathi lesibini nakwintsimi yabo. Iimeko apho sizifumana ngokukhawuleza sihlala nomntu omnye, kodwa kwangaxeshanye, sicinga ngomnye. Ukuphupha nokuseka olunye uhlobo lwe ubudlelwane obusondeleyo nenye indoda engeyoqabane lethu. Kodwa yeyiphi imiqondiso esifanele siyithathele ingqalelo xa kufikelelwa ekwazini ukuba senza oko kubizwa ngokuba “kukungathembeki ngokweemvakalelo”? Masiyibone:

1. Yintoni esiyifihlayo

Ngokuqinisekileyo, sicinga ukuba akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokulondoloza ubuhlobo obuhle ‘nalaa nkwenkwe. Sidibana naye ukuya kwiimuvi, ukufumana ikofu, sitshintshiselana ngemiyalezo whatsapp. Yonke into iselubala. Kodwa umzuzwana siziva sidinga ukufihla izinto ezithile kumlingane wethu, ngoko siya kuqonda ukuba siqala ukubonisa ukungathembeki okuthile. Linyathelo lokuqala loko kungcatshwa ngokweemvakalelo. Siyayeka ukwabelana ngamava kwaye sidale ihlabathi lethu kunye namava angasese, anganxulumananga neqabane lethu. Eyona nto ixhaphakileyo ilinganayo lawula ukulungisa imeko: «Ezi zinto ndiyazifihla kumfana wam, iqabane okanye umyeni wam, kuba ndiyazi ukuba xa ethe wafumanisa uya kuva ubuhlungu. Akuyomfuneko ukuba kube njalo kuba zizinto ezingenatyala. "Akukho ukungcatsha." Yindlela yokuziqinisekisa ukuba akukho kungathembeki. Kodwa ngokucacileyo, sele isenzeka.

2. Ngaba ukhangela into ngaphandle kobudlelwane bakho?

Ngumbuzo obalulekileyo ekufuneka sizibuze wona. Kucacile ukuba ngokufuthi siziva sifuna ukuthetha nabanye abantu. Ukufuna ukuthembana kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo nabanye abahlobo, ukuthetha ngezihloko ezinokuthi zingabikho kwintando yeqabane lakho. Yinto eqhelekileyo kwaye iyimfuneko, kuba njengoko abantu ekuhlaleni ukuba singoobani na, kufuneka sinxulumane nabanye abantu.

Kodwa kuya kufuneka uzibuze ukuba yintoni kanye kanye oyifunayo xa useka unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo nomntu. Ngaba kukho nakuphi na ukulamba kubudlelwane bakho? Ngaba loo mntu uyazanelisa iimfuno zakho zobuqu nezeemvakalelo? Ngamanye amaxesha, sikholisa ukungena kwiingxaki ezithile kubudlelwane bethu, ezi zezo zihlandlo xa sikhangela inkxaso kwisangqa sethu sentlalo. Kodwa kufuneka siyazi indlela yokugcina imida. Ngaba ukhangela ubuhlobo? Ngaba kukho into abanye abantu abakunika yona iqabane lakho elingenakubanelisa? Ukuba kunjalo, mhlawumbi kufuneka uvavanye imeko yangoku kubudlelwane bakho, kwaye zeziphi iimfuno zakho zokwenyani.

Sonke siyathanda ukunconywa, ukufumana izincomo kwaye sibe nomtsalane kwabanye abantu. Akukho bubi kule nto. Kodwa ingxaki iqala xa ziqala ukuvela ukuncwasa okwenyani. Ngaba siyenzela injongo ethile? Le mibuzo neminye ibalulekile ukuba uzibuze yona ukuba ukwimeko efanayo. Kusenokungabikho ukudibana komzimba, kodwa kusekunganyaniseki. Mhlawumbi ezichuliweyo ngakumbi, kwaye nzulu, kuba bakholisa ukuba ubudlelwane kunye nonxibelelwano ngokweemvakalelo apho abona basesichengeni ekugqibeleni ibe amaqabane ethu.

3. Zibeke kwimeko yomnye umntu

Ezi ntlobo zobudlelwane apho, okwangoku, kukho ukungathembeki ngokweemvakalelo kuphela, zihlala zithwele imvakalelo ethile yobutsha, ulindelo kunye  inkohliso. Ziyinto eyahlukileyo kwinto esinayo kunye neqabane lethu. Lumanyano olwahlukileyo apho kungekho sinyanzeliso, kuphela ukuzenzela kunye nemvakalelo ethile yobudlelwane nomnye umntu. Yindlela yokwahlukana nesiqhelo.

Kodwa besiya kuvakalelwa njani ukuba iqabane lethu belizifumana likwimeko efanayo neyethu? Ngokucacileyo besiya kukubona njengokungcatsha ngokwenene. Ubunyani bayo yonke le nto kukuba luhlobo oluxhaphake kakhulu lobudlelwane namhlanje. Ngaphezu kokuba sicinga. Ngokukodwa ngokunyuka kweendaba zoluntu. Sinokuseka ubuhlobo obukhethekileyo nge-Intanethi nabani na. Okanye sigcine ubudlelwane obusondeleleneyo naloo mntu usebenza naye enkosi kumyalezo okhawulezileyo...Kodwa kufuneka sizihlolisise kwaye sizibuze ukuba kutheni sisenza oko. I ukungathembeki ngokweemvakalelo fihla enye into.

Ngaba ubudlelwane bakho bangoku bukunika eyona nto uyidingayo? Zeziphi izikhewu onazo? Ngamanye amaxesha, sidlula kwizigaba apho kufuneka sihlaziye ubudlelwane kunye nomnye umntu. Intetho. Nxibelelana ngeengcinga, iminqweno, uloyiko kunye namaxhala ... ukuba kukho abanye abantu abazanelisa ngokwenene iimfuno zethu zokwenene zobuqu, mhlawumbi kungenxa yokuba singonwabanga. Kufuneka sicinge ngayo. Kufuneka siyithathele ingqalelo.


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  1.   Tania Rodriguez sitsho

    Umlingane wam wabona inguquko enje nge2months uxhelekile wandishiya akafuni nokuphinda andibone ndithetha akhonto angandiphenduli akandijongi zange kwabakho 2 kunye neenyanga ezinesiqingatha, ndiphumile kunye, nditsho ngokusondeleyo, ndisaziva uthando kunye nothando ngaye, ewe, usizi, intlungu, yayiyi-6 iminyaka yothando. ngokubhanxa ndandiqhelene kodwa soze ndimbone lo uvalelwe for almost 20 years I wish angabuya andixolele ndenze yonke into and akanikezeli ukuthoba umsindo wakhe uphelile but I know that he is. kunyanzeleke ukuba ndiqhubeke uba ngowam kuba iinyembezi zisehla emehlweni akhe wandixelela ukuba ndiva intliziyo yam itshatyalalisiwe ndikhumbula yonke into kodwa andifuni kwanto.