Ukwahlukana ngamaxesha abalulekileyo abo bahlala ngokubandezeleka okukhulu. Kwaye nangona kuyinyani ukuba umntu ngamnye kuthi ujongene nalo mzuzu ngendlela eyahlukileyo, ngamanye amaxesha kuphakama umbuzo wokuba ingaba bayakube bekwenzile na ngaphambili, nokuba amaqabane ethu ayakube esilibele na ngaphambi kokuba siwalibele.
Isenokuba kukuthandabuza okobuntwana, kuba emva kokwahlukana kubalulekile ukuba "sizikhangele", ukuba sibuyisele iziqwenga zethu kunye kwaye masifumane amandla kubuthathaka, ukoyisa i-duel. Ngoku, ilizwi elidumileyo lihlala ligcina ukuba amadoda alibale ngokukhawuleza, ukuba avule iphepha ngokukhawuleza, kodwa ... ngaba oku kuyinyaniso? Namhlanje kwi Bezzia Sifuna ukukuxelela malunga nesifundo esinomdla esilungiselelwe ngokusekelwe kulo mbono.
Amadoda athatha ixesha elide ukufumana kwakhona
Ewe, bahlala njalo amadoda athanda ukuphatha ikhefu ngobunzima obukhulu onothando Ngokophononongo olwenziwe yiYunivesithi yaseBinghamton yaseNew York kunye neDyunivesithi yaseLondon, singabo boyisa ukwahlukana ngentembeko enkulu nabakwaziyo ukufunda koku kwenzekileyo.
Ngoku, siza kuqala ngokucacisa izinto ezithile ezibalulekileyo:
- Asinakubala ngokubanzi, olu phando lupapashwe kwiphephancwadi «Inzululwazi yezeNdlela yokuziPhatha » Yenziwe ngothotho lophando olupapashwe kwi-Intanethi phantse ngabantu abangama-6.000 abavela kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo zehlabathi.
-Kuninzi ukwahluka komntu ngamnye, kwaye kufuneka sikuthathele ingqalelo oko ayizizo zonke ubudlelwane esihlala kuzo ezifanayo. Ngamanye amaxesha sinokujamelana ngokwaneleyo nekhefu nomntu othile, endaweni yoko, ubudlelwane bethu bokugqibela busibangela ukubandezeleka okukhulu kunakuqala.
Kufuneka siluthathe olu phononongo njengento ethe ngqo, into enokusikhokela kodwa ingasigqibi. Abantu bahluke kakhulu omnye komnye kwaye xa kufikwa ekuthetheni malunga neentlobo, kuhlala kukho iimpikiswano.
Ngoku, ngokomlawuli walo msebenzi, i Isazi ngemvelaphi nentlalo yabantu uGraig Morris, Olu phononongo lusebenze ukufumana uthotho lweedatha ezinomdla.
Amadoda awazivezi iimvakalelo zawo
- Xa uqhawulo-mtshato lwenzeka phakathi kwesibini, sihlala sihlangabezana nale nyaniso kukubandezeleka okukhulu. Kodwa iintlungu azihlali ixesha elide kunokuba ziyimfuneko.
- Siphila ngeentsuku neeveki ezilandelayo ngendlela ebuhlungu. Intlungu inzima kubafazi, sifuna ukuba sodwa, siyeke umphunga, sicinge ngokwenzekileyo, sikwenze ... kodwa imihla ngemihla, ngokuthe ngcembe sibuyele kwisigqi sethu esiqhelekileyo.
- Amadoda, ngokwabo, abafumani kuphelelwa lithemba ngoko nangoko. Emva kokwahlukana, zibonakala ziqhelekileyo, azihlali ngokupheleleyo. Kunzima kubo ukugxila, abenzi emsebenzini, kwizifundo ... Kodwa nangona kunjalo, "banika umfanekiso wesolvency". Bacinga ukuba ixesha neentsuku ziya kunyanga yonke into.
- Nangona kunjalo, iintsuku neenyanga ziyadlula, kwaye iintlungu, endaweni yokuthamba, ziba qatha. Abayamkeli kwaye ngamanye amaxesha awela kwiimeko zokuzibhubhisa. Ngawo la maxesha apho "bazama ukudibanisa," ukuzama kwakhona.
- Kuba abaqhubeki besebenzisa eli khefu ngendlela esempilweni, ngokwalo msebenzi, amadoda anakho phuhlisa uhlobo lokuba ndindisholo ngokweemvakalelo. Baziva bengenanto, kwaye nangona banokuqala olunye ulwalamano, oku kuya kuba kukuphila ixesha elifutshane kwaye kungakhathali.
Abasetyhini benza ngokuzomelela
Masikhumbule ukuba ukomelela seso simo sengqondo sisenza fumana amandla kubunzima, uyiqonde kwaye ufumane izifundo ezintsha onokuthi ube nobulumko ngazo, ubuchule ngakumbi kunye nesakhono.
Kucacile ukuba kukho ubudlelwane esingabalibaliyo, kodwa "ukungalibali" oko akuthethi ukuba khange sikwazi ukuguqula iphepha likhokelele kubomi obupheleleyo.
Ukuphila inkqubo elusizi kusinceda kakhulu ukulawula iimvakalelo, ukuya ukukhupha iimvakalelo kwaye uhlalutye okwenzekileyo ngendlela ecace gca.
NgokukaGqr.Greg Norris, onoxanduva kolu phononongo, olona lwandle lusebenzayo lwabasetyhini ukoyisa ukwahlukana kukwahambelana nenkqubo efihlakeleyo, inkqubo enxulumene nebhayoloji kunye nendlela yokuzivelela ngakumbi:
- Abafazi sikhethe ngakumbi kunamadoda ukufumana iqabane. Sisebenza ngemilinganiselo engakumbi, nangakumbi. Kwaye xa ukwahlukana kuyinto ebuhlungu, singoyisa kuba siyazi ukuba "iqabane elifanelekileyo" lelethu. Uphando ke luyaqhubeka.
Kwimeko yamadoda, ukwahlukana kuthetha ukuba kufuneka ukuthatha abanye abaviwa okanye abachasi kwiqabane. Kukutyala ixesha elininzi kunye nomzamo, xa ngandlela thile, kude kube kungekudala, ubuneqabane elilingana neemfuno zakho.
Kucacile ukuba ezi zimvo zinokubonakala ngathi zinokuzimisela, kodwa khumbula ukuba zisekwe kwindlela yendaleko. Makhe sibone ngoku ukuba zeziphi iinkqubo zengqondo ezinokumisela inyani yokuba zithatha ixesha elide ukulibala, ukwamkela indlela elungileyo. Okanye "ukuza kuthi ga ngoku ubudlelwane bethu"
Ukubaluleka kolawulo lweemvakalelo
Ukuba abafazi, ngokubanzi, baphathe iimvakalelo ezingcono kunamadoda yamkelwe.
- Sinovelwano ngakumbi
- Siyayazi indlela yokuguqula iimvakalelo zethu, iimfuno zethu, uloyiko kunye nothando ngamagama.
- Siyayazi indlela yokuhambisa iimvakalelo ezingathandekiyo, nokuba kungokulila okanye ngokuthetha oko siziva ngokuvakalayo.
Amadoda, ngokubanzi ngaphandle kokusebenzisa amagama aqhelekileyo, bahlala befihla usizi lwabo ngakumbi, ukuphoxeka kwakho. Ukwahlukana ngamanye amaxesha kuvelisa umsindo, unxunguphalo ... Kwaye zonke iimvakalelo ezingalunganga zinobunzima ixesha elide.
Into eqhelekileyo kukwazi ukuphuma, vula ngokwasemphefumlweni kwaye wamkele okwenzekileyo kwaye uye kuyo yonke intlungu ehlala ikhokelela kwilahleko. Kwaye kwakhona Kuyimfuneko ukwamkela, ukuxolela kwaye "uyeke" yobomi bethu nengqondo yethu.
Okwangoku ingqondo ikhululekile kwimithwalo kunye nenzondo, umntu unokuqhubela phambili ngoxolo. Nangona kunjalo, ngokophando esikuxelele ngalo, ubuntu bendoda ayiziyekeleli ezi mvakalelo ngokulula.