Mthande umntu kwaye ukubuyiselwa kwethu kusinika amandla kunye nokulinganisela. Kodwa ukuba le mvakalelo ayibuyiswanga, siya kuwela ekubandezelekeni okusoloko kunzima ukujamelana nako, kwaye kunjalo, ukoyisa. Kungenzeka ukuba siziva sithandwa ngumntu, size sithandane nomntu ongazange nanini na abonakalise umdla kuthi. Kodwa enye inyani enzima kakhulu kukuseka ubudlelwane njengesibini kunye nokufumanisa kancinci kancinci ukuba uthando lwethu alubuyiswa. Ukuba sityala ixesha, iinzame kunye neemvakalelo kumntu ongasoze asenze sonwabe kuba engasithandi ngendlela efanayo.
Singadlula njani kwimeko enje? Umtsalane wakho unokuphakama kakhulu. Eyethu ukuzithemba inokuba buthathaka, kunye nokuzithemba kwethu kwaye, ubukhulu becala, inyani yethu iphela. Zininzi iimeko apho kukho umngcipheko wokubandezeleka, kuba ziimeko apho umntu anokuthandabuza malunga nobuntu bakhe kwanokubonakala kwabo. Yintoni endiyenzileyo? Mhlawumbi andinamtsalane ngokwaneleyo? " Kufuneka sigcine ulungelelwano kunye namandla omntu. Kunzima, kodwa sichaza indlela yokoyisa uthando olungafunekiyo.
Iindlela zokoyisa uthando olungafunekiyo
Masiqale sikhumbule ukuba intsingiselo efihlakeleyo yegama "isibini" inantoni. Kuthetha isibini, isibini esilinganayo apho ukuba elinye lamalungu lifumana ngaphantsi kunoko likunikayo, ubudlelwane baba yityhefu. Xa kuziwa ekwenzeni isibini, sobabini kufuneka sinike kwaye samkele ngendlela efanayo, kuba kunzima kakhulu ukuhlala kunye sisempilweni ngaphandle kweqabane. ulungelelwaniso phakathi "kokunika" kunye "nokwamkela".
Ukuba kuye kufike ixesha apho sibona ngokucacileyo ukuba akukho kubuyisana, iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo ziyehla emva koko ukubandezeleka kuze. Kodwa kufuneka sicace: kwakamsinya ukuba siyiqonde, kokukhona kungcono. Akufanelekanga ukwandisa imeko ngokuzenza ulindelo olungeyonyani xa obo budlelwane bungenakamva. Makhe sibone ukuba zeziphi izinto ekufuneka sizithathele ingqalelo ukuze sijongane nale nyani:
1. Lumkela amathandabuzo
Ngokwesiqhelo, xa singamkelwa okanye sishiya ubudlelwane kuba sibona ukuba asilufumani uthando esiludingayo okanye esilulindeleyo, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba amathandabuzo asihlasele. Amathandabuzo ngobuntu bethu, inkangeleko yethu kunye nokuziphatha. Ngaba ndenze into engalunganga? Ngaba ndiza kufunxa kakhulu? Ngaba andizukuba mhle ngokwaneleyo? Kufuneka silumke malunga neempawu zethu. Zama ukugcina umgama osempilweni apho sukuzibonakalisa nguwe kuphela ityala. Ukuhlengahlengisa okwenzekileyo, kodwa ngaphandle kokuphulukana nokuzithemba kwakho nangaliphi na ixesha.
2. Sinelungelo lokuwa, kodwa sinyanzelekile ukuba sivuke
Ukubandezeleka kuyafuneka ukuze uphumelele kwaye woyise umjikelo. Yintlungu yethu ethile kwaye ngenxa yoko kufuneka siyiphile. Kuqhelekile ukuba sihambe kuloo mvakalelo yokuqala yokungathandabuzeki kunye nokukhanyela, okuya kulandelwa ngumsindo, kwaye kamva, ukudabuka kufika kuyo yonke into. Kodwa kancinci kancinci siza kuyilinganisa le meko. Siya kuthi shiya ukubandezeleka ukuya phambili, ukoyisa inqanaba elinye lobomi bethu, apho kuya kuthi kuvele ukomelela. Sonke sinelungelo lokuwa, kodwa ukuphakama emva kokusilela okunjalo, emva kothando olungafunekiyo, umzekelo, kunyanzelekile.
3. Beka umgama
Amaxesha amaninzi, abantu abaninzi bayavuma ukuhlala bengabahlobo. Kuqhelekile ukuba ibinzana elincoma ukuba "kungcono sihlale singabahlobo." Kuya kufuneka ucinge kwakhona ukuba yile nto uyifunayo, kuba ixesha elininzi lolona khetho lulungileyo alunamathandabuzo ukuseka umgama. Ukuqhawula ubudlelwane bemvakalelo nantoni na abanokwazi ukuyinqoba kweli nqanaba. Sonke kufuneka sihambe buqu kunye nasemphefumlweni, kwaye oku kuhlala kufanelekile ukwazi ukuba "ungasishiya njani." Beka bucala iinkumbulo, izinto ezingekhoyo, iinzame zomntu kunye nokusilela okungenakho ukuphinda kusetyenziswe kwakhona phantsi kwelebheli yobuhlobo. Kuya kufuneka ulixabise kakhulu kwaye uthathe esona sigqibo sihle.
4. Izicwangciso ezintsha, iinjongo ezintsha
Uthando olungafunekiyo kukusilela ngokweemvakalelo ukoyisa, siyayazi loo nto. Kodwa ungaze ujonge ukubekek 'ityala okanye uzazise ukuba nguwe wedwa onoxanduva. Okwesibini amathuba akhona kwaye asizukubeka iindonga kwikamva lethu. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba udilize okanye uphose itawuli, jonga nje ukuba kwenzeke ntoni kwaye wenze izigqibo malunga nayo. Ngaba kufanelekile ukuba ndijonge ezinye iintlobo zabantu? Ngaba kufanelekile ukuba ndilumke ngakumbi kwaye ndingafumani ithemba lam kwangoko? Luhlobo olunjani lomntu oluza kulungela oko ndikulindeleyo?
Xa kufikwa ekoyiseni uthando olungafunekiyo, kubalulekile ukuba someleze ukuzithemba kwethu kwaye simisele iiprojekthi ezintsha. Ungadinga ixesha elincinci kuwe ngaphambi kokukhangela iqabane kwakhona. Hlala uzithandaJonga izinto ezikwenza ukuba wonwabe, ufunde kwaye ubeke umgama kwinto eyenzekileyo. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuba ungayeki ukukholelwa kuthando. Ukusilela ayisosiphelo. Ukwalelwa akubeki lutshixo luqinisekileyo kolunye ubudlelwane. Ngokuqinisekileyo.
Ungaze uvumele amava amabi ukuba akubonelele ngekamva lakho. Yomelela, funda kwaye uvavanye okwenzekileyo kwaye usete iinjongo zakho. Ukwazi ukuba ufuna ntoni kuwe kwaye into ekufaneleyo. Beka bucala usizi entliziyweni yakho kunye neengcinga ezingalunganga engqondweni yakho ukuze uqale phantsi. Ngawuphi na umzuzu umntu angabonakala ekwazi ukukonwabisa njengoko kufanelekile. Ukoyisa uthando oluphindaphindiweyo kufuna ixesha, ukuzithemba okunamandla kunye nokuzimisela ukubeka emngciphekweni ebomini ukufumana into esiyifunayo.
