"Ngothando ndifuna amaphiko avumela ukuba ndikhule njengomntu, kunye neengcambu zokuqinisekisa ubudlelwane bam neqabane lam." Siqinisekile ukuba sonke silangazelela ukufikelela kubukhulu obufanayo. Zizidingo ezibalulekileyo ezibandakanya ukukhula komntu, kunye nokuzibophelela okwakhiwe ngamalungu omabini.
Siyazi ukuba akusoloko kulula ukufezekisa oku. Ukuhlonipha iimfuno zobuqu, ukuzivumelanisa kunye neprojekthi ebalulekileyo eyenziweyo phakathi kwesi sibini, ucinga ukudibanisa "yintoni eyam (eyam), kunye neyethu (nobudlelwane)." Ngamanye amaxesha kuba ngumceli mngeni, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, kutheni ungayikhanyeli, ikwathetha ukuba kufuneka uyenze nakuphi na ukuyeka. Makhe sithethe ngayo namhlanje ku Bezzia, siqinisekile ukuba uya kuba nomdla.
1. Owakho nowam. Zethu
Baninzi abantu abaqala ubudlelwane benika yonke into. Asiboneleli kuphela ngothando lwethu, ukuzibophelela kwethu ngokweemvakalelo kunye nokuzibophelela, ngamanye amaxesha side sikhuphe ukuzithemba kwethu.
Inokukothusa, kodwa kule mihla kuhlala kukho ezo meko zidla ngokuhlelwa njenge-psychology "Isifo sikaWendy":
- Beka iminqweno neemfuno zesi sibini ngaphambi kwezethu.
- Dlala indima "Umkhathaleli ongumama-okhathalayo", apho zonke iinkalo zobomi babantu abatshatileyo zihoywayo.
- Oku kuzinikela, olu khathalelo lusetyenziswa enkululekweni kuba leyo yindlela abanye abantu basetyhini abaluqonda ngayo uthando. Nangona kunjalo, kungekudala ukukhungatheka kunye nokungabikho koncedo lokubona ukuba ukuzinikela kwabo akuqwalaselwa. Kwaye nangaphezulu. Ukuzithemba kwabo kubuthathaka kangangokuba abanakufumana ndlela yokuphuma kule meko.
Kufuneka silumke singaweli kolu hlobo lokuziphatha. Ukuhlawula umlinganiso womntu ngamnye ngesifuba ekwabelwana ngaso kwesi sibini kufuna nje kuphela iingxoxo kunye nezivumelwano, ikwafuna "ukuqonda" okucacileyo kwicala lethu.
- Eyakho neyam akufuneki ihambe ngokwahlukeneyo ngokwahlukeneyo. Ukuba ndinomsebenzi wam oko akuthethi ukuba ndifuna ukuchitha ixesha elincinci kunye nam. Umsebenzi wam, izinto endizithandayo, nabahlobo bam zichaza ukuba ndingubani. Kwaye into endiyiyo yile ndikunika yona ngokunyaniseka kwam konke nothando lwam lonke.
- Indawo yam yeyam, endichonga. Nangona kunjalo, iqabane lam likwadityaniswa kuloo moya wam. Ngoku, ukudibanisa ezi ndawo zimbini ndifuna intlonipho, kwaye ngaphezulu kwako konke, ukuthembela.
2. Uthando olungenazincamathiselo lundinika amaphiko, kwangaxeshanye ndizisusele ngokwam
Siqinisekile ukuba sele ulivile igama "Isiqhoboshelo" ezinxulumene nokuhlangana ngokweemvakalelo. Ngokwenyani, eli gama linento entsonkothileyo kwabaninzi:
Ndingathini ngaphandle kokuziva ndinamathele kumntu endimthandayo?
Ewe, inenani lenkcazo ebaluleke kakhulu ekufuneka ikucacisile:
- Sonke sifuna uncamathiselo oluthile ukuze sizive sikhuselekile, sithandwa, kwaye sikhuselekile. Abantwana kufuneka bomeleze ubudlelwane kunye nabazali babo ngokuphuhlisa unxibelelwano. Apho kukho inkxaso kwaye ingalawulwa okanye Ukuzikhusela ngokugqithisileyo Qhubeka uhamba.
- Kwinqanaba lezibini, kwenzeka into efanayo. Okwangoku xa sithanda umntu siziva simanyene naloo mntu, kwihlabathi lakhe, amasiko abo, ukuhleka kwabo kunye nobuntu bakhe. Yonke le yimizekelo ecacileyo "Izincamathiselo ezisempilweni."
- Iziqhotyoshelweyo ekufuneka sibaleke kuzo eneneni zezolo luthando lufunwa ngokungakhathali, ezingavumeli izithuba, kwaye eziphazamisa ukufuna umona nolawulo.
- Nabani na olawulayo akasasithandi, osondeleyo kuthi kwihlabathi lakhe kunye nezikhokelo zalo kunye neemfama kufuneka "sibe" nathi. Kungenxa yokuba uthando alunakho ukubambelela okanye ukunamathela okungaboniyo.
- Uthando lwenziwa ngokukhululeka, ndiyazinikela kuwe "njengomntu opheleleyo" ukwakha ubomi nawe. Masingayenzi impazamo yokujonga eyam "isiqingatha seorenji", kuba isiqingatha sabantu abasoloko besenza umntu opheleleyo.
- Isiqingatha sabantu sinayo akunanto Balindele ukuba sibancede, kwaye into enjalo iphelela ekusitshabalaliseni ngokweemvakalelo.
3. Yakha uthando olwaziyo
Sithetha ntoni ngothando olusebenzayo, ngaba asisathandi ngale ndlela? Inyaniso kukuba akusoloko kunjalo. Cinga umzekelo uthando lomntu, umzekelo ocacileyo wothando "olungazi nto":
- Ukucinga ukuba uthando luhlala luhleli, kwaye sonke sinelo "siqingatha silungileyo" esifanelekileyo kuthi.
- Ukudibanisa uthando kunye nomdla. Ukucinga ukuba ngalo mzuzu uthando lweminyaka yokuqala luyanyamalala, uthando luyayeka ukuba yinyani.
- Kholelwa ukuba umona lolona phawu luphezulu lothando, umboniso wenene womnqweno kunye nokugcina iqabane ngokungathi yinto.
Kuya kufuneka sizilumkele ezi nkolelo, kwaye sisebenzise izinto ezininzi ezibizwa ngokuba ziingcali zengqondo "Uthando olunomdla". Qaphela kakuhle ukuba eli binzana lobulumko liqulathe ntoni:
- Kukuzinikela komnye umntu ngaphakathi Libertad, ukuba phambi kwabantu abakwaziyo ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo, abangoyikiyo ukuba nesizungu, nabakhetha ukwakha ubomi obufanayo nabanye abantu, ukuze babucebe ubukho babo.
- Abazi kuphela iimfuno zabo, kodwa kunye neqabane labo. Bayazi ukuba kufuneka bahlakulele izinto abazithandayo, baqhubeke nokukhula ngokufanelekileyo, babe nabahlobo abafanayo, bonwabele iindawo zabo ...
- Kwaye konke oku kwakhiwa ngokuthenjwa, ntlonipho, kunye nonxibelelwano oluhle.
Ngothando, sonke sifuna amaphiko ukuba abhabhe ngokukodwa, ukukhuthaza ukukhula kwethu. Nangona kunjalo, emva koko, sifuna luzimisele zomntu esimthandayo, kwaye ngenxa yoku kufuneka sondle ezo zingcambu yonke imihla ngothando olunyanisekileyo, nangentlonipho.