Ukubaluleka kwe yabelana ngeemvakalelo kubudlelwane, kubalulekile. Nokuba into esivakalelwa kukuba intle okanye ayilunganga, sonke kufuneka siqondwe ngumntu esimthandayo, into engasoloko isenzeka ngamanye amaxesha. Kuqhelekile kuthi ukukhalaza ukuba ngokubanzi, ngabo babonisa ukungalufanelekeli uvelwano, bengakulungelanga ukuzibeka ezicathulweni zethu kwaye baqonde umbono wethu. Kwaye nangakumbi, kubonakala ngathi ngamadoda akufumanisa kunzima ukuveza iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo zabo ngokuvakalayo. Kodwa ngaba oku kuyinyani okanye ngaba yinto nje engafaniyo?
Uphononongo lwakutsha nje olupapashwe kwi- "Ijenali yezeNzululwazi yezeNtsapho" lusizisela inyani enomdla ngokwenene. Bobabini abesilisa nabasetyhini bayayiqonda loo nto Ukoneliseka kwesi sibini kuxhomekeke ikakhulu kuvelwano lwabo bobabini. Nangona kunjalo, amadoda athanda "ukucoca" xa kuvela izinto ezingathandekiyo. Ngokubanzi, banexesha elinzima lokuchonga kunye nokuthetha ngazo ngokuvakalayo. Kwicala lethu, sinomdla wokuziqonda ezi ngxaki kwaye sithethe ngokuvakalayo ngendlela evulekileyo. Zingaba ziindlela ezimbini zokuhambisa iingxaki ekufuneka sizithathele ingqalelo. Masibone.
Uvelwano, imfihlo yesibini esonwabileyo
Ngokuqinisekileyo kwenzeke kuwe ngamanye amaxesha. Ukuziva ungalunganga, uphoxekile ngento ethile, nokuba iyacaphukisa. Imvakalelo ekungenayo ngaphakathi kwaye, nangona kunjalo, iqabane lakho alichongi okanye aliboni. Okanye okona kubi, usenokuba uzame ukuchaza ngokweenkcukacha ukuba kwenzeka ntoni kuwe kwaye akubonise nje ukwaliwa okanye ukungaqondi.
Ngokophando olukhokelwe nguGqr. UShiri Cohen, kwiHarvard Medical School, amadoda abona ezo mvakalelo zingalunganga okanye zinengxaki njengoyikiso kulwalamano. Baziva bonelisekile xa iqabane labo livakalisa ukonwaba, kodwa xa inkxalabo enjalo okanye inkxalabo ivela kuthi, bayibona njengeflegi ebomvu.
Kwelethu icala, kwaye ngokukaGqirha Cohen, sibona ngolwaneliseko ukuba babelana nathi ngeemvakalelo zabo ezingakhiyo, kuba kusisalathiso sokuba bayasithemba kwaye banakho ukusixelela ukuba yintoni ebaphazamisayo okanye ebakhathazayo. Asiyiboni njengesongelo, kodwa njenge sixhobo ukuzama ukulungisa ingxaki. Ngokucacileyo zininzi iiyantlukwano phakathi kwabantu, kufuneka sicacelwe malunga noku, kwaye ayingabo bonke abantu basetyhini okanye onke amadoda aya kubonisa iipateni ezifanayo njengakwesi sifundo. Kodwa ngokubanzi, kubonakala ngathi isitshixo sokonwaba kanye sisidingo "sokunxibelelana." Sifuna ukuqondwa ngabo sibathandayo.
Gcina ukhumbula ukuba njengokuba sinethemba lokuqondwa nokunyanyekelwa, amaqabane ethu nawo alindele okufanayo. Akufuneki sigxile kwilizwe liphela leemvakalelo kuthi, sinakekele iimfuno zethu kuphela. Ukuba novelwano olwaneleyo, kuyafuneka ukuba ube nokuphucula into elungileyo ukuzazi. Ukuba ndiyayiqonda imvelaphi yeemvakalelo zam, ndiya kuba nakho ukuzibeka endaweni yomnye ukuze ndiqonde eyabo.
Ungaluhlakulela njani uvelwano kubudlelwane bakho
Siyazi ukuba akukho lula. Umntu ngamnye kuthi uneempawu zobuntu angenako ukuzitshintsha, kodwa sinokuziqhelanisa. Ewe kuyahluka kancinci kwisitishi buchule ngenxa yobudlelwane bethu njengesibini. Kufanelekile ukuzama, kungoko sifuna ukubonisa ubungakanani obusisiseko obunokusinceda:
1, Unxibelelwano aluthethi ngomlomo kuphela. Siyazi ukuba unxibelelwano lubalulekile kulwalamano ukuze kugcinwe ixesha kunye nokonwaba. Ukuba sonke sifuna amaqabane ethu ukuze sikwazi ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zabo neengcinga zabo ngokuvakalayo. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, izijekulo kunye nonxibelelwano olungathethiyo zinobunzima obulinganayo. Ukubonakala, izijekulo, iintshukumo zithetha lukhulu ngathi kwaye kufuneka sazi zitolike. Kuzo kukwanako ukuba novelwano, amandla ethu okuqonda enye. Gcina, ungaze ujonge nantoni na, nikela ingqalelo kwiinkcukacha.
2. Libala ngawe okomzuzwana okanye ubeke inkxalabo yakho ngokuvakalayo. Ngamanye amaxesha siziqonda ezinye izinto: umsebenzi, amaxhala, uxanduva ... sigxile kwilizwe lethu elingaphakathi ngaphandle kokubona oko sinako phambi kwethu. Ngamanye amaxesha senza impazamo yokuthatha ngokungakhathali izinto, zokucinga ukuba "uthando lweqabane lethu lihlala lingenamiqathango." Kodwa akusoloko kunjalo, izinto esingazaziyo zinokuba zivuza.
Kwelinye icala, ukuba nguwe osokolayo, ngubani onengxaki okanye a mfunekoMusa ukulinda omnye umntu ukuba "ayifumane." Oku kunokubangela ukubandezeleka okungakumbi. Thetha nomlingane wakho, uchaze okwenzekayo kuwe ngendlela efanelekileyo, ngaphandle kokuba omnye umntu akwazi ukukuqonda njengesoyikiso, kodwa njengengxaki ekufuneka isonjululwe phakathi kwenu nobabini.
3. Akukho mpendulo: qonda. Enye imeko enokuthi yenzeke yimeko yokufaka into yokuba kwenzeka into kwiqabane lakho. Kukho abantu, abazama kude indlela yokufumana unobangela wale ngxaki, baphendula ngokulula. Kwaye yenza ngendlela engafanelekanga, ukuzoba kakuhle izigqibo ezingafanelekanga okanye ngokuhambisa ezabo iindlela zokulwa. Ayisiyonto efanelekileyo. Into ekufuneka siyenzile kuqala kukuzama ukuqonda ngaphandle kokuqalekisa, kungenjalo singayenza nzima imeko nangakumbi.
Kufuneka sazi ukuba masibuze njani, sifumane indlela yokunyaniseka ukuze iqabane lethu likhululeke ukuthetha nathi malunga nokwenzekayo kuye, malunga nezinto ezimkhathazayo.
Ukuququmbela. Sonke siyazi ukuba ngamanye amaxesha akukho lula ukungenela izihlangu zomnye umntu. Ngamanye amaxesha ziba zincinci kwaye kunzima ukuzithwala. Kodwa umgudu uwufanele, kuba uvelwano ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo sisitshixo sabo bonke isibini esonwabileyo.
Ndilifumana lonke inqaku linomdla kwaye lichanekile, uvelwano lubalulekile kwaye lwenzeka ukuba kusekho uthando, kwaye ke ngenxa yoko ufuna ukuvana neqabane lakho, umbuzo ubusaya kuba, ukuba wenze ntoni ukuba uvelwano lulahlekile? kwaye ufuna ukuchacha.
Enkosi, ukwanga,
ana
Enkosi ngokufunda uAna, nangokushiya uluvo lwakho. Chaza ukuba xa ubona ukuba ubudlelwane bakho neqabane lakho buphulukana novelwano, okanye amandla okuzibeka endaweni yomnye umntu, kwaye nokonwabela ukusondelelana okungaphaya kwamagama, mhlawumbi kuya kufuneka uthethe ukuze wazi ukuba ufumanisa njani . Uvelwano ayisosiseko sothando kuphela, kodwa nolwalamano lwasentlalweni, ke kufanelekile ukwazi ukuba luphi ulwalamano lwakho.
Thatha ixesha lakho, wenze izinto ezintsha ukuvuselela ubudlelwane, ubaleke kancinci kwisiqhelo kwaye uthethe ngento oyithandayo ngomnye nomnye, into onokuyiphucula ukuze uphinde ufumane inkohliso yangaphambili. Cinga ukuba xa kungekho luvelwano, ibhondi iyalahleka ngokuthe ngcembe, ke kufanelekile ukuba uyilwele loo nto inzima imihla ngemihla.
Ukwanga uAna.
Molo, igama lam ndinguElizabeth.Ndineminyaka engama-3 ndithandana nendoda yaseCatalan.Ndizithuka kaninzi.Ngokungaqhelekanga, pestera, barriovajera.Jonga bonke abantu basetyhini emehlweni ngelixa sihamba kunye, xa sisitya isidlo sangokuhlwa. soloko ujonga omnye umfazi nokuba ukhatshwa .babuyisa aba bamjongayo, bayadlala ndize ndinxunguphele.usoloko ehlola ii-roller zakhe zangaphambili kwaye wongeza abafazi kwi-instagram.ulandela abafazi abaninzi.ndiyambuza ngoobani? ukusuka entwenini? Uyabazi. Amantombazana ayazithanda zonke iifoto zakhe kwaye usoloko ezihlola. NJENGOKO, SIGQIBILE KWAYE SESIQHELE UKUPHENDULA ABAFAZI KULO FLIRTEO, IBHINQA ENDILAZIYO NGOKUBA I-APP YAMKELA UMALUME, IBHALA KUYE IYAZI UKUBA INAM, AKUKHO MNTU UNGAYIHLONIPHAYO, OKANYE NGAYE OKANYE IINGXAKI. INSOMIO, ANXIETY, ANXIETY. NDIZAMA UKUMSHIYA AMAXESHA AMAhlanu NDIBUYELA NDIBUYELELA NDIBE NOKWENZEKA UKUBA NDIBUYILE, NDIYIBEKE KABI KAKHULU, NDIZIVA NDINESIDIMA, NGAPHANDLE KOLUTHANDO LWAM, NDIMNTANTSI KAKUHLE KONWABE NGOKUPHELELEYO UKUZE NDISUSE ULONWABO MNYAKA. UNYAKA WONKE UMDLA WAKHO UNGAPHANTSI KANYE NENGQONDO YAM ENGAKHULU. NDINGAZE NDIBE NENDODA EKHOLELAYO. Kwaye andinakumthanda.