Kwinkalo yeengqondo kunye nobudlelwane babantu, ithiyori yokuncamathisela ibaluleke kakhulu. Abantu kufuneka basebenzise amakhonkco kunye nabo basingqongileyo. Iibhondi zothando, uthando kunye nokhuseleko. Ukuba umntwana ebengenayo, umzekelo, oku "kuncamathiselwa" kunina noyise, ukukhula kwakhe ngokweemvakalelo kuya kuba kunqabile.
Abantu badinga ukusondelelana nokusondelelana nabantu esibathandayo. Kwaye kwenzeka okufanayo kwinqanaba lezibini. Xa umntu ngequbuliso esiba ngumntu obalulekileyo nobalulekileyo ebomini bethu, senza ubudlelwane kunye nohlobo oluthile lokuncamathisela. Kulapho ke owona mbuzo uphambili uthi: ayizizo zonke izihlomelo ezifanayo, ayinguye wonke umntu ophilayo ngokulinganayo ukufikelela kubudlelwane obuzinzileyo nobonwabisayo. Makhe sithethe ngayo namhlanje. Makhe sibone ukuba ezi nkqubo zokuncamathisela zinokuphuhla njani kwaye zingasinceda njani okanye zisenzakalise.
Iindidi zokuncamathisela kubudlelwane bababini
1. Ubudlelwane kunye "nokuxhalaba" okuqhotyoshelweyo
Masithathe umzekelo olula. Uya kuhambo nabahlobo bakho ngempelaveki. Umlingane wakho uyayihlonipha kwaye uyibona kakuhle. Akukho ngxaki. Kodwa xa ungakhange wenze ngaphezulu kokufika kwindawo oya kuyo, uqala ukufumana umyalezo emva komyalezo obonisa ukuba ungakanani Ndiyakukhumbula.
Ixesha lihamba kwaye uziva kancinci kancinci, wanyanzelwa. Akakuceli ukuba ubuye, kodwa uyazi ukuba akaphumli, uyakuphikisa oko kunokwenzeka, ukuba uqaphele abanye. Ukushiya kwakho. Ndikuvala ngohlobo lokuba ekugqibeleni, awukwazi ukunandipha ukuphuma kangeempelaveki.
Abantu abane "xhala" kwiprofayili yokuncamathisela bafuna ukusondela kwamaqabane abo ngendlela phantse ithathe ingqalelo. Bawela lula kwiimeko zomona, unxunguphalo nokungathembani. Oko kuphelisa ukuvelisa iingxaki ezininzi. Singazichonga ngezi zinto zibonisayo:
- Batyekele ekuchongeni kakuhle ukuba kukho into eyenzekayo kulwalamano. Bahlala beyazi kakuhle indlela osabela ngayo, inkangeleko yakho, amagama akho ...
- Zihlala zikhohlisa. Bathanda ukubeka izibini kwiimeko apho sinokuvavanya ukuba sizinikele kangakanani kubo.
- Batshintsha imo yabo ngokulula. Ngamaxesha anamandla amsulwa njengangoku, abonisa phantsi kunye nosizi olufihlakeleyo lokufumana ingqalelo yethu.
- Bahlala bejonga amaxesha okusondelelana kwaye basebenzise isondo phantse njengentsika, apho babonisa khona ukusondela koxinzelelo.
2. Ubudlelwane kunye neqabane elinokuncamathisela "okude"
Iya kuba licala elichaseneyo lokuxhalaba. Kule meko, esi sibini singumzekelo oqhelekileyo womntu osoloko efuna "Indawo yakhe." Ayikuko ukuba uyakuphepha ukuzibophelela, kukuba uyakuqonda ngendlela ebandayo kancinci kwaye ngaphandle kwesidingo sokusondela rhoqo.
- Aziqhelekanga kakhulu ekuqondeni iimvakalelo kwesi sibini. Kananjalo ababoni ukuba zeziphi iimfuno onazo okanye ukuba kukho ingxaki. Kwaye lumka, ayisiyiyo loo nto "abakhathali." Yindlela yabo yokuba, abaziboni ngokulula iimvakalelo.
- Bayakonwabela ukuba bodwa.
- Bafuna indawo yabo yobuqu mihla le, kwaye kuyabakhathaza ukuba siye ngaphaya "komda."
- Banemilinganiselo yeqabane elifanelekileyo, yeyiphi kubo, iya kuba liqabane elifanelekileyo. Bavame ukubeka ibha phezulu kakhulu kangangokuba kunzima ukufikelela kuyo ngamanye amaxesha. Evelisa ukubandezeleka okuninzi.
- Cinezela baninzi iimvakalelo zabo endaweni yokubonakalisa.
- Bahlala befuna kakhulu, kwabo bantu bathanda ukubonisa iziphene zabanye. Oko kuthetha ukungabikho kovelwano.
- Batyekele ekuphepheni ukusondela emzimbeni, ababoniswanga ukuba babonise uthando.
3. Ubudlelane obune "safe" attachment
- Luhlobo olusempilweni lokuncamathisela, lolona lubonelela ngokona kulungileyo kunye nolonwabo.
- Izithuba zobuqu ziyahlonitshwa ngaxeshanye, enye yakhiwe phakathi kwezi zimbini, ezo zesibini ngokwazo. Apho kukho ukuthembana kunye a unxibelelwano oluhle.
- Umahluko, iingxaki zemihla ngemihla zilawulwa kakuhle.
- Iminqweno kunye neenkxalabo zinokwaziswa ngokuphandle.
- Kukho imbeko, umona awuthabatheli phezulu okanye uyingozi. Ixabisiwe ukuthembana.
- Abantu abane-attachment ekhuselekileyo bayakwazi ukubona xa bephosakele.
- Banxibelelana kakuhle ngeemvakalelo zabo.
- Abakhohlisi, banyanisekile kwaye bafuna ukusondela kwesi sibini ngelixa behlonipha indawo yabo.
- Bayayazi indlela yokuxolela.
- Benza ubudlelwane obunempilo apho kungekho sinyanzelo, apho akukho ukuzingca. Apho uthando luvuthiweyo kwaye aluthambekele, kwaye lungaphantsi kude.
Ukuqukumbela, into ebalulekileyo ekufuneka iqatshelwe. Asingabo bonke abantu abaye banayo uhlobo olunye "lokuncamathisela". Akukho mntu "ucocekileyo" okhuselekileyo okanye omde nje. Ngamanye amaxesha umnwe wolu qhotyoshelo luxhalabisayo uxutywe neinshurensi.
Into ebalulekileyo kukuba kukho i-axis esembindini, ubudlelwane ngokusekwe kufakelo olukhuselekileyo apho omabini amalungu esi sibini ahloniphanayo. Kuqhelekile ukuba uzive uxhalabile ngaxa lithile. Ukuziva ndinomona amaxesha ngamaxesha. Kodwa ukuba ungumntu oqolileyo kwaye olungeleleneyo ngokweemvakalelo, awuyi kuwela kuthando. Uyazi ukuba uphi umda wentlonipho.
Kwaye ngoku sixelele ukuba loluphi uhlobo lokuncamathisela oluchonga iqabane lakho? Uzibona ujonge ntoni ngakumbi? Cinga ngayo, uyihlalutye kwaye uhlale uyigcina engqondweni.