Ukuphambuka kubudlelwane bababini kuhlala kunezizathu ezininzi. Akukho buhlobo bufanayo kwaye akukho mntu ufana nomnye. Ngoku, xa sithetha malunga nokuchaphazeleka kunye nokuhlalisana, kuhlala kukho into emi njengesiseko apho iingxaki ezininzi zinokuvela khona ukuba asithathi ngqalelo.
Kucacile ukuba akukho mntu uyingcali epheleleyo kwimicimbi yeemvakalelo, kulawulo lonxibelelwano, ekwazini indlela yokusebenzisa ezo zixhobo zaneleyo zisinceda ukomeleza ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu ababini. Impazamo, ngamanye amaxesha, ikhona ngqo ukujonga ngaphakathi kwethu ukubona kuphela iimfuno zethu, Kwaye ndinethemba lokuba omnye umntu uyawaqikelela. Nangona kunjalo, asinqweneli ukwandisa le mfihlakalo nangakumbi. Sikunika lonke ulwazi olungezantsi.
Impazamo esiyenzayo phantse sonke kulwalamano lwethu
Ukuqonda ngcono umbono esifuna ukuwudlulisela kuwe, siza kuqala ngomzekelo olula:
«Kule mpelaveki unesidlo sangokuhlwa nabahlobo beqabane lakho. Nangona kunjalo, kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ngaphambi kokuba ubonise iqabane lakho ukuba awufuni kuya. Uyamangaliswa ekuqaleni emva koko akubuze ngomsindo ukuba kutheni ungafuni ukuhamba.
Ubonisa ukuba maninzi amaxesha athe akwala ukuhlangana nabahlobo bakho, kwaye udiniwe kukunikezela kwizinto angaziqondiyo. Ke eyona nto intle kukuba uyeke ukuba neentlanganiso kwaye umntu ngamnye adibane nabahlobo bakhe xa befuna ».
Yintoni esinokufikelela kuyo kule meko?
- Kuyabonakala ukuba umntu ngamnye ukhululekile ukuba angahlala nanini na efuna ukunqanda ungquzulwano, impikiswano. Nangona kunjalo, Kucacile ukuba kukho ukungakhululeki okufihliweyo.
- Siziva sicaphuka kukuziphatha kwantlandlolo kweqabane lethu (akahambi nathi xa sidibana nabahlobo bethu, okanye abazali bethu ... ngumzekelo nje). Nangona kunjalo, Endaweni yokunxibelelana naye ngelo xesha, siyigcina kuthi, silindele ukuba ayiqonde. Kwaye oku, sibuyisela isabelo sakho ngemali enye.
- Sithintela ukwenza ngendlela efanayo nomnye umntu, ngethemba lokuthabathela ingqalelo yabo ukuze babone isiphoso sabo.
Amandla atshabalalisayo ovelwano olubi okanye uvelwano olubuyiselweyo
Singaluchaza uguquko olugqwesileyo okanye olubi ngendlela elula kakhulu: Ndenza okufanayo kuwe ukuba wenza kum ukuze wazi ukuba kunjani, kwaye ke, uyakufumanisa into obuyenza ixesha elide.
Yimpazamo eqhelekileyo ukuba uninzi lwezibini eziwela kulo, kwaye enyanisweni, iqala ngokwenza izinto ezilula kakhulu ekuqaleni de ikhokelele kwiimeko ezinzulu ngakumbi. Masicinge, umzekelo, ngala maxesha xa amaqabane ethu elibele ukusazisa ngomyalezo wento ethile: ukuba bazokufika emva kwexesha, ukuba bazokuya apha, ukuba bazakwenza oku hayi enye ...
Kulungile ntoni kuthi ukwenza okufanayo nangenye imini, sixelise ukusilela kwabo? Kucacile ukuba nabo bayakufumanisa ukuba kunjani, kodwa ayisosenzo esakhayo, ukungazi indlela yokujongana neengxaki, kwaye nangaphantsi kwendlela yokwenza ngobukrelekrele bemvakalelo.
- Ngokwenyani, into esiyenzayo kukonyusa uxinzelelo kunye nokubandezeleka.
- Siseka uhlobo lonxibelelwano olusekwe "kukungakhathali". Kuqala ndilixhoba kwaye emva koko ndiba ngumphumezi ukuze ndikubandezele.
- Sifuna ukunyanzela inyaniso yethu komnye umntu ngokunyanzelwa: «awundithathi ingqalelo», «wenza iimpazamo kunye nam», «ubeka phambili wena kakhulu".
- Oko sikukhuthaza imihla ngemihla ngezi zenzo akuhambelani, kodwa kuyimpikiswano. Ungquzulwano oluqokelelayo lunokuba yingozi kakhulu.
Yiphephe impazamo yokuphindaphinda uvelwano kunye nokuzilolonga
Kuya kufuneka sitsho ngokucacileyo ukuba ingxaki ayisombululeki ngokubangela ingxaki efanayo komnye umntu. Ngoku, eyona nto iphambili kuyo yonke le nto ilele ngendlela eqhelekileyo: Siyathemba ukuba omnye umntu uya kuzibonela iimpazamo, kwaye eyona ndlela yokufikelela kuyo kukwenza ukuba ibone ngomzekelo wethu.
Ayisiyonto ilungileyo ukuyenza. Impazamo ayifanelekanga ukuyenza. Ke ngoko, kubalulekile ukuba uyithathele ingqalelo le miba:
Abantu abangobugqi kwaye asinayo nocingo. Inokwenzeka into yokuba iqabane lakho, ngamanye amaxesha, lingaqondi nokuba lenze into ekukhathazileyo. Kukwanjalo nakuthi.
- Kuyimfuneko ukuba siyazi indlela yokunxibelelana kwaye singagcini izinto ezisikhathazayo. Soloko usebenza ngokuzithemba nangalo mzuzu. Ngokukhawuleza xa ubona into ekukhathazayo, ekukhathazayo okanye ongayiboni kakuhle, musa ukulinda omnye umntu azibonele.
- Ukuba usebenzisa uvelwano olubuyela umva, uya kudala ukungavisisani okukhulu, kwaye ingxaki, kude nokucacisa, iya kuzinza ngakumbi.
- Ungaze wenze impazamo yokuba ngumntu ongeyiyo. Ukuba omnye umntu wenza iimpazamo, sukumxelisa, kungenjalo, kancinci kancinci uya kuziva ungonwabanga neqabane lakho, kunye nawe.
Funda ukunxibelelana, ukubonisa iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo, kunye neemfuno. Zonke iimvakalelo ezimbi ezifihliweyo zisenza ukuba sibe ngamabanjwa, siqokelela ingqumbo kunye nenzondo zihlala zifuna amaqela anetyala. Yimpazamo, musa ukuthabatheka kule ndlela kwaye uhlala usebenza ngokulinganisela kunye nobukrelekrele bemvakalelo. Kufanelekile.