Shin zai yiwu a yi soyayya da mutane biyu a lokaci guda?

yayi soyayya bezzia psic

Peopleaunar mutane biyu a lokaci guda wani abu ne wanda ba a gani ko yarda da jama'a. Ya ƙunshi gina triangle inda ɗayan membobin suka ruɗi, inda wahalar motsin rai wani lokacin yakan yi yawa kuma yawanci yakan gaza ne. Amma bari muyi tunanin misali game da waɗancan shari'o'in da ke kusa da mu, mutanen da ke kula da dangantaka mai ƙarfi da kwanciyar hankali tare da matansu, amma duk da haka suna ci gaba da tuna wannan soyayyar daga baya. Wannan dangantakar da, saboda kowane irin dalili, bai yi nasara ba. Aaunar da ke ci gaba da ƙwaƙwalwa, kuma wannan, ko ta yaya, yana sa su "cikin ƙauna" tare da mutane biyu a lokaci guda.

Masana halayyar dan adam sun gaya mana cewa akwai soyayya iri-iri. Kuma har ma fiye da haka, soyayya a cikin mutum ta shiga ta hanyoyi daban-daban wanda zamu iya jin motsin rai daban-daban: sha'awa, sha'awar jima'i, soyayya ... saboda haka abu ne wanda za'a iya kirkirar abubuwa daban daban na mutane biyu a lokaci guda. Don haka, kamar yadda masana da masu ba da magani suka gaya mana, wannan haka ne gaskiya ce sosai a tsakaninmu. Munyi bayani kadan a kasa.

1. Illolin son mutane biyu a lokaci guda

ilimin halin dan Adam fada cikin soyayya bezzia

Westernungiyar Yammacin Turai suna nuna mana jagororin ɗabi'a daga ciki, ba a gani ko yarda cewa mutum yana da mata biyu. Abu ne sananne sosai, kodayake, suna da alaƙa da alaƙar sirri. Mutanen da, da suke da tabbataccen abokin tarayya, suna da “ɓoye” na sirri. Wani abu ne wanda, kamar yadda muka sani, ya ƙunshi babban wahala da damuwa. Yana nuna cin amana ga wannan mutumin wanda muke riƙe alƙawari da shi.

Wadannan nau'ikan yanayi suna gama gari a ofisoshin masu kwantar da hankali. Amma waɗanda suka sami wannan gaskiyar sun ba da sanarwar cewa yawan baƙin ciki da wahala yawanci suna da yawa. Ya game abubuwan kwarewa da fahimta wanda ke buƙatar babban matakin sa hannu, wanda ya jefa mu cikin rikici na asymmetric wanda ba koyaushe yake da sauƙin magancewa ba. Bari mu gan shi daki-daki.

  • Kudin motsin rai: Bari mu sanya shari'ar sauƙi. Mutum ya yaudari abokin zama tare da masoyi na uku. Samun kula da waccan rayuwar sau biyu da sanin cewa kana cin amanar wani kuma hakanan, ba za ka iya tafiyar da cikakkiyar rayuwa ta yau da kullun tare da wanda ka yi ma'amala da ita ba, a cikin dogon lokaci na iya jefa mutumin cikin rikici mai tsanani. Gaskiya ne cewa komai ya dogara da nau'in ɗabi'a da halayen kanta na kowane mutum, amma babu yaudara da za'a iya kiyaye ta har abada, kuma sakamakon motsin rai za su sami babban tsada.
  • Matsalar jama'a- Wannan wani bangare ne da ba za a iya inkarinsa ba wanda ya shafi tunanin soyayya da mutane biyu a lokaci guda. Babu wanda zai iya yarda da abokin aikinmu, misali, yana da wani abokin tarayya. Ba irin na al'adunmu bane. Har ma da ƙari, kauna yawanci tana bukatar kebantacciya da kuma wata ma'ana ta mallakar mallaka a fakaice. Su "abokan tarayyar mu ne", muna buƙatar cewa soyayya da jima'i ba su wuce da'irar ma'auratan ba, na wannan haɗin gwiwar da muke ginawa da juna. Wannan shine ma'anar, muna daraja da buƙatar yin auren mata ɗaya ɗaya kuma abokan huldar mu suma sun yi aure. Saboda haka wahalar karɓa "cewa akwai wuri don yiwuwar a so mutane biyu a lokaci guda."

2. Hanyoyin soyayya

soyayya bezzia

Marubuta kamar Hoton Otto Kernberg Sun nuna cewa ra'ayin yin soyayya da mutane biyu a lokaci guda kuma zai kasance da alaka da matakai daban-daban na kaunar kanta. A wata ma'anar, mutane suna fuskantar matakai daban-daban wadanda ake kira "biochemistry na soyayya" ta hanyoyi daban-daban:

1. Farkon tsari

Anan mutane suna fuskantar fashewar motsin rai. Kwakwalwarmu masu iko sosai sun mamaye kwakwalwarmu kamar su dopamine da adrenaline, wanda zai iya jefa mu cikin halin rashi jin dadi. Muna jin kwanciyar hankali, damuwa, farin ciki. Muna jin tsoro a cikin ciki, wahalar tattara hankali da kuma kusan ci gaba da damuwa ga mutumin da muke sha'awar sa.

2. kashi na biyu

A wannan kashi na biyu na soyayya yana aiki oxytocin. Neurotransmitter ne wanda ke kara mana karfin ji da hadewa. Mataki ne mafi annashuwa wanda a cikin sa mutane ke fara shirye-shiryen gama gari, ƙarfafa alaƙa da ƙarfafa sadaukarwar su. Yanzu ba soyayya bace mai cike da juyayi kamar wacce ta gabata, amma abinda muka sani da "soyayyar soyayya" shine yafi chanchanta. A cewar masana halayyar dan adam, soyayya mai zafi ba ta wuce shekara da rabi ba.

3. Mataki na uku

Anan mun riga mun shiga matakin haɗewar yau da kullun. A can inda soyayya ta mamaye, soyayya mai annashuwa wacce kwanciyar hankali ke nuna wannan rana zuwa rana ba tare da barin ɗan lokaci na son zuciya ba, amma inda nutsuwa mai natsuwa tare da tsinkaye mai karko da kwanciyar hankali na gaba ya fi yawa. Adrenaline da dopamine yanzu basa nan, cewa "euphoria" ya daina kasancewa. Ya ɗan ɗan sami annashuwa, alaƙar da ke tsakanin membobin biyu ta riga ta riga ta gyaru, kuma haɗe-haɗe shi ne tsarin wannan ranar zuwa yau. Zai zama, mafi girma soyayya.

Zamu iya cewa to, kodayake ba a gani sosai kuma ba a karba ba, a ilmin halitta da kuma tausayawa yana yiwuwa a yi soyayya da mutane biyu a lokaci guda. Muna iya, alal misali, muna rayuwa ta uku na ƙauna tare da abokin mu kuma ba zato ba tsammani jin wannan farin ciki ga abokin aiki ko aboki. Amma yanzu, bayanan suna nuna cewa suna dangantaka mara nasara tare da tsada mai tsada. Babu shakka soyayya abune mai rikitarwa kuma yana da wuyar rarrabawa a karkashin tabarau na madubin hangen nesa don fahimtar sa gaba daya. Sau da yawa muna ƙoƙarin bambance shi a ƙarƙashin alamomi daban-daban: soyayya ta soyayya, ƙaunataccen platonic, mai tsananin so ...

Amma ka tuna, zai fi kyau ka kasance mai hankali kuma ka yi ƙoƙarin daidaita daidaito a ciki, kada ka cutar da kowa, kuma koyaushe ka nemi farin cikin ka.


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