El rabuwa a cikin ma'aurata Lokaci ne mai rikitarwa wanda ke amsawa ga abubuwa da yawa, kamar matsaloli na kuɗin mutum, rashin imani, saɓani a cikin ilimin yara, bambancin ɗabi'a ko rashin sadarwa.
Akwai wasu dalilai da yawa, amma muhawara ce wacce kusan ke haifar da bambance-bambancen farko. Gaskiya ne cewa abu ne na kowa a gare mu mu kula da waɗannan maganganun da yawa ko lessasa mai tsanani inda motsin rai ya bayyana; suna da mahimmanci har ma suna da amfani, amma wani lokacin ana ɗaukar nauyinmu tare da wani tabbatacce fushi da takaici. Mun yi sujada a cikin matsayinmu kuma ba mu sake tattaunawa ba, ba mu da hujja kuma abin da ya fi muni: ba mu saurara. Akwai ma'aurata waɗanda kawai ba su san yadda ake sadarwa ba, sabili da haka ba su san yadda ake jayayya ba.
Yayin da ma'aurata suka ji wannan rabuwar a kowace rana, sai dangantaka ta yi sanyi ta rarrabu; a karshen akwai tattaunawa da yawa ba sasantawa kuma da yawa buƙatun da ba a cika ba Tsakanin duka. Da zarar mun wuce matakin baya na soyayya, da gaskiya lokaci da kwanciyar hankali, wanda a nan ne ya kamata a gina ginshiƙan da za su tabbatar da tushen dangantakar balaga da yarda da kai.
Magance Matsaloli, Neman Hanyoyi
Rayuwa ta yau da kullun zata kawo mana lokacin da zamu gwada ƙarfin dangantakarmu, yanayi irin su rashin aiki, rashin haɗin kai a cikin abokin tarayya, dakatar da yin abubuwa tare, tsara ayyukan ko haɓaka sha'awa. Waɗannan lokutan suna haifar da sakamako na wani lokaci na rashin son zuciya kuma saboda haka yana da mahimmanci a nemi sabbin hanyoyin da warware waɗannan bambance-bambance:
- Tattaunawa ita ce lokacin da za mu bayyana ra'ayoyinmu, motsin zuciyarmu da bukatunmu.
- Dole ne ku san yadda za ku saurara, ba tare da neman laifi ba kuma ba tare da yin amfani da bakin ciki ba. Magunguna koyaushe suna ƙarewa cikin takaicin ɗayan abubuwa biyu na ma'aurata; saboda haka dole ne mu sadarwa tare da gaskiya da girmamawa, tare da tabbaci ba tare da neman cutar da ɗayan ba.
- Yin nadama ba koyaushe yake da ma'ana ba, musamman ma idan muka nemi afuwa wanda ba mu ji da gaske ba. Waɗannan su ne yanayin da kawai muke neman ba da dalili ga ɗayan kuma mu magance matsalar da wuri-wuri ba rasa wanda muke so ba. A cikin dogon lokaci, zamu ji ƙarin rauni da rashin fahimta.
- Tawali'u yana da mahimmanci koyaushe: dole ne mu yarda da kuskurenmu da na abokin tarayya. Idan da gaske muna son ɗayan kuma muna darajar dangantakarmu, dole ne koyaushe mu yi amfani da gaskiya kuma a lokaci guda mu rage girman kanmu; gafarta ba tare da barin komai ba, yi tunani game da ɗayan amma kuma game da kanmu. Bai kamata mu zama wadanda abin ya shafa ba, dole ne mu himmatu don kulla dangantakar manya inda duk bangarorin zasu iya bunkasa junan su, inda sadarwa ke gudana.
Muhimmancin sadarwa
Yin magana, tattaunawa, sadarwa da ma tattauna, yana buƙatar sanin yadda ake sarrafawa da sanin jerin fannoni da zasu sauƙaƙe kiyaye mahaɗin tare da abokin aikinmu. Wasu lokuta akwai shingaye da yawa: motsin zuciyarmu ya shawo kanmu kuma ba za mu iya samun kalmomin da suka dace ba, fushi ya rinjaye mu kuma mun ƙare da yin sautinmu da amfani da kalmomin cutarwa ga ɗayan. Sharuɗɗan da ke gaba zasu taimaka muku don ƙarfafa sadarwa tare da abokin ku:
- Nemi lokacin kusanci: Wasu lokuta wajibai, ko suna aiki ne ko waɗanda suke da alaƙa da kulawar yara, a hankali suna dauke mu daga waɗannan lokutan wahala da kawance da abokin tarayyarmu. Yana da mahimmanci a nemi lokacin kaɗaici tsakanin ku, inda zaku iya magana ido da ido ba tare da kasancewar wani ba.
- Na yau da kullun: Wannan wani bangare ne wanda shima yake hana mu sadarwa. Wani lokaci mukan kasance cikin ayyukan yau da kullun inda tattaunawar takan zama mai maimaitarwa har sai sun zama masu iya canzawa. Don haka wajibi ne kada a fada cikin wadannan yanayi; Yana da mahimmanci mu sami sararin kanmu da na kanmu amma kuma mu sami waɗancan lokutan hutu tare da abokin tarayyarmu, lokacin da muke yin shiri, neman abin da muke buƙata, ƙarfafa saƙonni masu ƙayatarwa da guje wa zargi.
- Sabbin fasahohin: Wani lokaci wayoyin salula, yanar gizo ko hanyoyin sadarwar mu matsala ce babba tsakanin ma'aurata. A gefe guda suna iyakance mu zuwa sadarwa inda yana da wahala a gare mu mu haɗu da cikakken gaskiya tare da ɗayan, kuma a gefe guda, su ne tushen rashin yarda da kishi. Dole ne ku sami daidaito, inganta lokutan da aka raba lokaci fuska da fuska ba tare da fasaha tsakanin su biyu ba: tafiya, balaguro, lokuta masu dacewa don tattaunawa da raba lokaci tare.
El rabu da abokin tarayya Gaskiya ce da zamu iya fuskanta ta ƙirƙirar sabbin gadoji da tura sabbin ƙwarewa, saboda muddin soyayya ta ci gaba da wanzuwa, ta dogara ne daga gare mu koya inganta sadarwa. Tattaunawa da bambance-bambance abu ne na yau da kullun a rayuwa a matsayin ma'aurata, amma idan dai za mu ci gaba da daidaita daidaituwar kanmu inda akwai girmamawa, girman kai da motsa rai don bi aikin gama gari, kowane ƙoƙari zai zama da daraja.