It is quite normal to see today how many people have a strong emotional dependence on their partner. Although in these cases it is one of the parties that needs the other person to feel good and give some meaning to her life, There may also be cases of emotional codependency in the couple.
In such codependency, one of the parties is only happy if he is next to his partner and the other party is also dependent on his partner's dependence. In the following article we will talk a little more about emotional codependency in the couple and its characteristics.
Emotional codependency in the couple
In a clear and simple way, it can be said that in codependency, the person who is dependent needs their partner in order to be happy, and the codependent person lives exclusively to achieve the well-being and happiness of their partner. The key so that there is no such codependency is that the codependent person performs the different actions in a totally altruistic way and not in order to feed the emotional dependence that exists. Codependency ends up destroying the relationship itself, causing none of the parties to be happy within it.
Clear signs of emotional codependency in the couple
There are a number of very clear signs or characteristics, which indicate that in a couple relationship there is a certain emotional codependency between the parties:
Lack of selfesteem
People who are codependent often have low self-esteem and self-confidence. They try to make up for this lack by helping the dependent person to be happy.
control of the couple
To feel useful and valuable in life, the codependent person controls his partner, so that he continues to have certain dependent behaviors towards his person. The control exercised over the partner has the objective of undermining their self-esteem so that in this way they remain totally dependent on an emotional level.
Fear of the couple's independence
A great fear is produced by the fact that the couple realizes the emotional dependence that they suffer and want to be much more independent in the relationship.
obsessive thoughts
Over time the codependent person becomes totally obsessive with the partner. He thinks that his only goal in life is to keep the other person emotionally dependent.
Continuous reproaches to the couple
When the dependent partner does not act according to the established pattern, the codependent person blames it through reproaches with the aim of making him feel bad. This is intended to keep the dependency real.
Psychological help in emotional codependency
When it comes to solving such a problem, it is important that the couple as a whole put themselves in the hands of a good psychologist. The most effective therapy against codependency is cognitive behavioral. This therapy seeks a series of very clear objectives:
- Strengthen self-esteem and confidence in both members of the couple.
- Communication within the couple and express the different feelings without any fear.
- Encourage some independence and autonomy in the couple
- Strengthen the emotional control.
- Overcome fears or fears to be without a partner.
Ultimately, emotional codependency is unfortunately much more common than people may think. In such a case it is important to get away from such toxicity and always opt for a healthy relationship. Over the years, the aforementioned codependency ends up destroying the couple and seriously damaging the emotional state of both parties.